


Toy Soldiers

by fluttyseed



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Violence, Heartbreak, Mutual Pining, Pining, Psychic Abilities, Sexual Violence, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmates, Testy Festy, Threats of Violence, really slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:25:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 53,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluttyseed/pseuds/fluttyseed
Summary: *Rewritten version*We start at the very beginning, before being a Deputy in Hope County was even a thought in Lenni's mind. Now years later, arresting Joseph Seed seemed like just part of the job. But it was just one decision of many, that would change her life forever.Please note: It’s a slow building story, I have written it that way on purpose because I wanted various plots to unfold and character building throughout. :)





	1. The Reading

**Author's Note:**

> I made the decision to rewrite Toy Soldiers because I wasn’t happy with the quality of writing. I didn’t enjoy reading it and was embarrassed when I did. So, it was either delete the whole thing and forget about it... or fix it. I’ll be posting the chapters one at a time, and have made significant changes to the storyline. Hopefully you will find this version to be a better read.
> 
> https://fluttyseed.tumblr.com/post/187878790553/toy-soldiers

‘I’ll need an object from you. Jewelry always works well, something only you have worn...’

Lenni glanced down as she stretched her hand out, removing the gold ring from her index finger. She noticed her hand tremble slightly as she handed the ring over.

Minutes had passed since the psychic first closed her eyes to begin meditating, with the ring sitting loosely her cupped hand. Lenni slowly gazed around the dimly lit room. There was a slight aroma of sandalwood, wafting from an incense stick positioned in the corner. The walls were filled with early renaissance paintings, framed in bold, gaudy, gold frames. Her eyes casted back on to the meditating woman. She looked like an old movie star, dressed in a long kaftan of burgundy, brown and gold fabrics. Quite an attractive lady, roughly in her sixties. Athena, her name was, and she was said to be the most accurate psychic reader in town.

Lenni’s best friend Zara had raved on for months about how accurate she was, and that she simply _had_ to go and see her. She had initially resisted, slightly skeptical about the whole thing but soon changed her mind as the things Zara was told began to come true. As predicted, she had suddenly received a promotion at work and was now the director of the Public Relations team for a national finance corporation downtown. Not to mention, moving into a gorgeous high-rise apartment with her new dream guy... whom Athena had also told her about. Lenni was genuinely happy for her and caved in, although shocked to hear of the six month wait list. Well if her reading turned out as accurate as Zara’s, she guessed that it’d be worth it.

Zara was her very first friend when Lenni’s family moved from Sydney, Australia. The two grew up sharing countless memories together involving school, guys, parties... lots of parties. But they were at a new phase in their lives. Well, Zara definitely was. Instead of partying through the night and waking up the next afternoon, now it was all about ‘brunch’ or shopping for homewares and other fancy accessories. Recently, it was deciding which top of the line coffee machine she should buy. Whereas Lenni, she was still living from pay to pay without barely any savings. She lived in an old apartment downtown and her relationship status was extremely single, thanks to the latest guy she has been seeing who had recently dumped her in a text message. Earlier that morning, she woke up to a phone call from Athena who notified her of a last minute cancellation. So thankfully she didn’t need to wait six months after all, maybe it was meant to be?

Lenni watched the way Athena's face twitched slightly. She wondered if it was due to her muscles relaxing or reactions from whatever she could see or hear from the powers above. The feeling of dread began to form, and she wondered why she even bothered listening to Zara in the first place. What if it was all bad news? Or if she would be told things that she didn’t want to know?

It was too late now for regrets, Athena’s eyes opened and she began without any hesitation. It felt like she was staring into Lenni’s soul as ongoing information continuously spilled from her mouth. Firstly about her immediate family and the move to New York when she was a kid, which impressed Lenni already. Athena continued on describing about how it had taken her some time to adapt to living in a new country. The lifestyle was so different, it felt like they had moved to a different world. She spoke through the timeline of her life up until she reached the present.

‘You don’t feel content with your life, which is often why people come to me,’ Athena mused. ‘Do you have any questions to get us started?’

Lenni froze, of course there were a million things she wanted to know… but at that particular moment, she couldn’t think of a single damn thing. She frowned as she quickly scrambled to ask something, anything.

‘How about um, work? Or my career?’

Work? How boring… and what career?! She didn’t care about her job in the slightest. Athena nodded once before closing her eyes again. It was enough time for Lenni to notice that she now had tight grip on her gold ring, making her knuckles turn white. When she opened her eyes again, her face had changed from what was a neutral expression to skeptical.

‘Are you thinking of changing jobs?’ she asked. Lenni was just about to answer, but Athena beat her to it.

‘You haven’t been showing your true capabilities. You’ve been cruising along and now, you’re finally bored of doing that…’ It was as a polite way of saying that she had been lazy, and she had a point. Being a call-center operator wasn’t really the most glamorous or adventurous of jobs which Lenni had envisioned for herself. But, it was still a job and it paid the bills.

‘You’ll have a career change. But… I can see people close to you trying to talk you out of it, they won’t think it’s a good idea.’ Athena's mouth opened and closed quickly again, her eyes were squinted as if she was trying to listen to something.

‘I’m really sorry,’ her words rolled huskily as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. ‘Your spirit guides are telling me not to give you too much information.’

Lenni leant forward, tucking a long blonde curl behind her ear. ‘… pardon?’

‘Your spirit guides are telling me what I can and cannot tell you,’ Athena paused. ‘There are important lessons which you need to learn for yourself, as well as some decisions you will have to make without any influence from me today. But you’d rather know more about your love life anyway… yes?’

Lenni’s eyes widened, surprised that Athena would know that. She had actually wanted to know about marriage and babies, but being thirty-two years old, it was probably an obvious topic. Most people would ask about their love lives anyway during these types of things anyway, right?.

‘Well yeah, it was something that’s been on my mind a little I guess…’

Athena closed her eyes, and kept them closed for a lot longer this time. Lenni started to think about the spirit guides and wondered why they refused to tell her anything more about her career. What was the big deal? There was a small part of her that felt cynical about the whole thing. Perhaps it was just all smoke and mirrors to avoid not knowing the answer? Nothing like this happened in Zara’s reading.

Lenni was regretting how she had wasted her time, when Athena finally spoke up again.  
‘We all have paths that await us in our future. Sometimes we choose them consciously, other times not. For you, I’m seeing a lot of situations where one action leads to one or more reactions.’ Athena mindlessly began fanning herself with her hand.

‘Your future… it’s busy. Chaotic even.’ Her hand froze as she listened. ‘I see you becoming extraordinarily resilient, more so than most people ever need to be. You’re trying to keep guarded, but just remember to open up to those who are deserving of you.’

Athena pursed her lips as she looked Lenni right in the eye, ‘you have an energy that attracts many kinds, you need to be careful of that.’ This was definitely nothing like Zara’s reading. Lenni had listened to the recording and none of it sounded anything as cautionary or serious like hers.

‘What about uh..uh-‘ she stammered, her cheeks starting to slightly blush.

‘Your soulmate? Oh you’ll find him.’ Athena confirmed, as she reached over to put her hand on top of Lenni’s, stroking her thumb back and forth assuringly. ‘He’s very… different. But his love for you is truly a beautiful thing.’

Lenni smiled weakly, it felt weird being told about a person she had never met. Should she look grateful? Excited? Relieved…?

‘And forget the, boy…’ Athena sneered, ‘the one who broke up with you. Darling you deserve more than he could have ever given you.’ The text dumper... Lenni stifled a laugh at the unexpected mention of him.

The reading finished soon after, and both women stood up and walked out of the little room as Lenni fumbled through her bag for her purse. Athena caught on to what she was doing and waved her hand, insisting that she need not to pay.

‘Darling I have never had that happen before. In all my years, I have never had the guides tell me such a thing. There is no way I can charge you for this session, so please, put your money away.’ Athena told her as she returned her gold ring.

Lenni twisted her mouth as she looked down at her purse. ‘Are you sure though? I feel bad..’

‘Please don’t. Actually, instead of payment, I would like for you to do something else instead…’

She shrugged casually, ‘uh, okay yeah?’

‘Come back and see me in five years from now. Will you do that for me?’ The seriousness in her voice, almost sounded more like she was slightly pleading.

Lenni stared at her with a furrowed brow, considering her odd request. ‘But what if you don’t remember me in five years time?’

Athena quietly chuckled, ‘oh my darling I will not forget you any time soon.’


	2. We’ve got company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just another day of work for the Deputies, until they learn the news of the Marshall coming to visit.

‘I could really do with a cigarette right about now.’ Joey Hudson mumbled. She sat slouched at her desk, staring straight ahead at nothing with her head resting against her palm, squashing her cheek. The tone of her voice sounded like she had reached the epitome of boredom. It was a quiet day at work, not a lot was going on in the sleepy town within Montana.

‘Don’t you even think about it,’ Lenni warned as she quickly side-eyed her before staring back at the computer screen. ‘It’s been what, two weeks? I’m not putting up with your withdrawals all over again for when you want to quit next time 'round. Think of a distraction.’

‘Yeah, good idea.’ Joey purred as her eyes followed Staci Pratt who, as if on cue, strode into the office and past her on the way to his desk. He was so focused on reading the police report he was holding, he didn’t look up or even say a word to either of them. Lenni stopped typing to stretch her arms above her head, throwing Joey an amused smirk.

For as long as she could remember, things had always been… interesting between Joey and Staci. They were great friends, but there was definitely something more. Unfortunately the universe hadn’t been kind enough to allow them to be single at the same time. This caused all sorts of unmissable and awkward sexual tension between them at work, and the occasional sprout of jealousy. Joey described it once as _”some kind of Shakespearean shit-show”_ , after a few glasses of wine one night. Lenni couldn’t agree more. Joey grinned at her devilishly, before returning back to the paperwork she had scattered across her desk. Meanwhile, Pratt still had no idea of their silent conversation about him. 

Lenni had been a deputy at the Sheriff’s Department for almost four years. She was transferred to the office located just outside of Hope County, straight after graduating from the Academy. Joey and Staci were already working there and she hit it off with Joey almost immediately.

‘So… ‘ Pratt finally interrupted the long silence with a whisper. ‘Whitehorse asked me to go through all of these, then hand them over for you both to have a look at.’ He glanced over at Joey and Lenni, ‘shit is about to go down. Apparently we’re expecting company.’ 

The women exchanged looks, ‘who?’

‘Deputy Marshal Cameron Burke.’ Earl Whitehorse announced gruffly, as he walked into the room.

His response was met by a chorus of miserable groans. It was safe to say that everyone at the station couldn’t stand the Marshal. His arrogance always rubbed people the wrong way.

‘He’ll be here any minute, so I gotta brief you all on the job that’s happening tonight.’ His flat tone made it obvious that he wasn’t pleased about Burke returning. ‘He’s got a warrant for Joseph Seed’s arrest, and wants him in custody as soon as well, yesterday.’

He picked up the files from Staci’s desk and tossed them onto Lenni’s. ‘Have a read over these files Rook, you haven’t had the pleasure in dealing with a Seed before.’ She quickly nodded as Joey rolled her chair over to Lenni's desk so they could both take a look as Earl briefed them on the job.

Even though Lenni wasn't a Junior Deputy anymore, the nickname Rook had stuck due to many of her ‘rookie’ moments she had in the early days. Joey sometimes liked to bring up the time she locked the keys in the police car during a stakeout. There was also another time when she and Pratt were called out to a residence and she slipped on dog shit in the front yard. Pratt was laughing so hard, he wasn't looking where he was going and slipped on some too… the car stank for months. No matter the situation, it was always met with an exasperated ‘Rook...!’ from Whitehorse, as he dragged his palm down his face. 

People rarely called her Lenni these days, with the exclusion of Zara, but they rarely spoke now. Married life and children always kept her fairly busy, although Lenni knew deep down that it also had a lot to do with Zara not wanting her to leave and join the police. 

‘So?’ Staci pressed, ‘… obviously something has gone down?’ 

‘Evening team.’ Burke strolled into the room and gave everyone a nod before standing next to Earl.

‘I see you’re reading up on the Seeds. Excellent.’ He said, eyeing the files in Lenni and Joey’s hands.

‘We’ll be taking off shortly, just waiting on some intel before we’re good to go. It’ll be us four going...’ he nodded over to where Nancy sat, closest to the door. ‘Someone will have to stay back.’ Lenni peered over to where Nancy was sitting, she was too preoccupied with the phone-call she was on to be paying Burke any attention. 

‘So, what’s going on?’ Hudson quickly glanced at Pratt, to acknowledge that he had already tried asking the same thing. 

‘There’s been mounting evidence of criminal acts by Joseph Seed, and we finally have a warrant for his arrest… Should’ve happened a long time ago.’ It was an obvious swipe at Earl’s management of the situation.

‘I don’t think it’s a good idea.’ Whitehorse muttered, standing with his hands on his hips and slightly shaking his head. 

‘Well Earl, what’s your solution? Because your idea of sitting back and allowing Joseph and his siblings to take over your region isn’t really working out. People have been hurt… gone missing, and a whole lotta other shit.’ Burke paused to wait for Whitehorse to respond, but he was met with silence. 

‘So.’ Burke continued, ‘we’re waiting and find his exact location, to know where to land the chopper.’ His phone began to buzz, causing him to leave the room and allowing the deputies to speak privately.

‘Look, I don’t like this one little bit. But he ain’t budging. It’s best that you all grab what you need now because we’ll be leaving shortly.’ Whitehorse gave a hard look in Burke’s direction. The sound of a helicopter approaching in the distance, prompted Joey, Pratt and Lenni to quickly abandon their work and dash to their lockers. 

It felt like something bad was about to happen. Fuck. Lenni struggled to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach. She hated traveling by helicopter at the best of times, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she had much of a say. 

As they all walked out, Lenni was the last to leave the building. She gave Nancy a quick smile and quickly squeezed her hand. The older woman looked up and gave her a small smile, squeezing her hand back quickly before looking back down and taking notes. 

Lenni took a deep breath as they climbed into the helicopter. ‘The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll get back…’ she mumbled to herself.


	3. Cuff him Rook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be a simple arrest, oh how wrong they were. Lenni has her first encounter with the Seed family.

The helicopter ride to Joseph’s compound felt painstakingly long. Staci was piloting with Joey next to him, leaving Lenni stuck in the back next to Earl and across from Burke. She knew it would only be a matter of time before they would start bickering, and had no choice but to awkwardly sit there pretending to not hear. 

Lenni looked at her watch, it was two in the morning. Her shift was supposed to end at eleven, but Earl insisted that she and the others stay back and promised them all time in lieu.

‘This is a mistake…’ Whitehorse muttered to himself, just loud enough for Lenni and Burke to hear. 

‘Earl. It’s our fucking job to intervene when people are breaking the goddamn law,’ Burke snapped

Everyone sat in silence, staring out the windows until the helicopter slowly passed a concrete statue of Joseph, the size of a large skyscraper building. So large, it would have made the helicopter look like a mosquito buzzing around it in comparison. 

‘The fuck…’ Lenni murmured. When and how did everything about this become so serious? She remembered there had been _some_ talk in the office about the Seeds awhile back. Since then, just a few mentions here and there. But now a statue? That was when the penny suddenly dropped. She knew exactly why Earl was against the arrest. This whole thing… this situation… it was so much bigger than the five of them could ever handle. 

This was going to be bad.

‘Absolute fuckin’ psychopath,’ Burke sneered, glaring at the concrete monstrosity 

When Staci announced that they had almost reached the location of Joseph’s compound, Earl gave Burke a wary glance. ‘Are you sure you want to do this? Joseph isn’t one to be fucked with, we can always just turn this bird around.’

Lenni waited with bated breath as she looked ahead at Burke. ‘We’re going ahead with it,’ he said dismissively - making it clear that it was no longer up for discussion.

Fuck.

As the chopper slowly landed, the view outside showed a heavy contrast between the picturesque backdrop of Hope Country compared to what they saw before them. The sky was filled with sparkling stars, like someone had sprinkled silver glitter over a black fabric to reveal just a hint of the mountains. The beauty of it all was overshadowed by the fucking industrial eyesore which was known as Joseph’s compound.

It was a small, run down, grungy looking area with a cute, white, country church stuck in the middle. Oil drums were being used as fire-pits, along with roadwork floodlights running from loud generators to provide light. 

As they proceeded to walk through the area, they started to gain attention from the church followers who all stopped to watch them. Peggies, Lenni remembered Pratt calling them. The men and women were all dressed in dirty, baggy brown and beige clothing. They looked unkempt and hostile… feral. Lenni furrowed her brow as Earl went into a gentle mode of crowd-control. He spoke calmly to them as they continued walking, assuring them all that they were not looking to start any conflict.

Burke had been advised that Joseph was in the church running a sermon, so by the time they reached the doors, he was itching to get in there. He eagerly placed his hand on the door and was just about to push it open, just before Whitehorse held his arm out to stop him. 

‘I’ll do all the talking,’ Earl insisted. ‘Hudson you stay here to keep watch and Rook... you’re gonna cover me.’

Lenni's eyes met with Joey’s. ‘This is really bad Jo, I can feel it,’ she whispered

‘You’ll be fine,’ she nodded to her as she moved aside to stand guard.

Burke opened the doors and they all stepped in quietly. The room was filled with cultists sitting on rows of church pews, listening intently to Joseph preaching. He stood on the stage, arms reaching outwards as he spoke which revealed his toned, tattooed torso. He gazed at his people through yellow-tinted aviators, ignoring the officers who had entered.

Lenni kept close behind Whitehorse and Burke, stopping when they were a couple of metres away. By then, his siblings had walked onto the stage to stand beside him. It was like a standoff, even though Joseph looked completely unfazed.

Faith, young and beautiful was wearing a white lace dress with flowers cascading down the side. She watched Burke and Earl closely with a slight frown, but that changed when she looked t Lenni. Her expression became softer, slightly curious.

Behind her was John. Extremely attractive, with dark hair, big blue eyes and a neatly trimmed beard. Impeccably dressed too, with his blue business shirt rolled up to his elbows revealing that he too was covered in tattoos. John would be able to get any woman he desired and the smug little smirk on his face as he looked at her, suggested that he knew it too. 

Lenni’s eyes drifted from John to the other side of Joseph, where the eldest Seed sibling stood defiantly with his arms crossed. Jacob Seed, tall and built like a brick wall. His dark red hair and beard, brought out his piercing blue eyes. He wasn’t pretty like his little brother, but that didn’t stop Lenni from staring at him. She didn’t realise she was, until he maintained eye contact. His unreadable expression made her quickly look back at Joseph.

‘And I saw, behold it was a white horse… and hell followed with him.’ Joseph projected to his audience. 

Burke took that moment to ignore Earl’s instructions and read Joseph his rights, holding the warrant up high. Joseph calmly obliged and looked to Lenni as he slowly held his arms out. He stood there motionlessly, staring at her.

‘Cuff him Rook.’ Burke commanded. 

There was a brief moment of hesitation as she looked slightly past Joseph and caught view of his siblings who were watching her closely. Jacob shifted in his stance, slightly nodding to himself as the other two stood still. 

‘Something is coming, you can feel it can’t you?’ He whispered to her. She looked Joseph in the eye for a moment, before her thoughts were interrupted by Burke.

‘Rook.’ He raised his voice, prompting her to hurry up. 

As she escorted Joseph out of the church, with Whitehorse and Burke leading the way and Joey keeping behind her, the peggies began to rile up.

‘Let’s fucking go.’ Burke shouted at Staci, as the helicopter began to rise. Joey was sitting in the back this time, pushing away the cultists who had gripped onto the edge. Lenni leaned over slightly to watch as they each fell, hitting the dirt ground hard just when she heard Staci.

‘Fuck! Fuck!’ He shouted frantically, punching down on buttons before pulling on a lever. The chopper shuddered and shook before starting to spin. The screams from the officers became hysterical as it spun faster and faster before plummeting to the ground. 

By the time Lenni had slowly opened her eyes, wincing from the throbbing pain in her head, she looked around to find that she was the only officer who was conscious.

And Joseph’s seat was empty. 

One by one, Pratt, Burke, Joey and Earl regained consciousness too. Realisation and instinct quickly kicked in, when they all desperately tried unbuckling their seatbelts. There were numerous voices heard nearby, and then one distinctive voice stood out over the rest.

‘Now… we must begin the reaping.’ Joseph bellowed, followed by a loud cheer before the cultists reached into the chopper to drag Earl, Staci and Joey out. Lenni, still sat on the other side, desperately latched on to Joey’s hand. Joey screamed as she had no choice but to let go. 

Lenni stared at Burke as tears began to well in her eyes, as she kept trying to unbuckle her seatbelt.

‘We gotta run Rook.’ 

‘But what about-‘ Lenni started to say, worrying about the others

‘We can’t help them if we’re caught too, so we gotta get the fuck outta here,’ he interrupted 

And just like that, he was gone. He had taken off, leaving Lenni still struggling with her own damn seatbelt. The flames from the crash were spreading, causing thick smoke to barrel inside. She violently shook the buckle, clicking and pulling until it finally busted open.

Throughout high school and college, she was highly recognised for her track and field events. But nothing came close to this, which was no doubt going to be the fastest sprint of her life. Lenni gave everything she had, practically galloping with adrenalin and not looking behind her once. She pushed herself harder than she had ever done before. 

She didn’t even consider stopping until she no longer heard the commotion from wreckage. Completely drenched in sweat and her chest feeling like it was about to explode, she slowed down to a jog and eventually crouched behind a large tree to catch her breath… and her surroundings. No matter which direction she looked, everything looked the same. 

It was quiet. Quiet enough to hear the sound of a twig snap behind her. Lenni quickly looked over her shoulder, trying to carefully peek around the tree. To her relief there was no one in sight. Exhaling shakily, she closed her eyes as she turned back around again. After finally regulating her breathing, she opened her eyes and let out a startled yelp.

‘My child... you’re finally here.’ Joseph cooed softly, his green eyes gazing into her hazel eyes.


	4. Blissful Propaganda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now on her own, Lenni starts learning more about what has been going on - and forms an alliance with Dutch.

Lenni recoiled and pushed herself back against the tree, not liking the way he was crouched in her personal space. She subtly moved her hand down her leg to reach for a weapon, but her thigh holster was empty. He must have disarmed her when she was unconscious in the helicopter. 

Fuck.

Joseph stared at her for what felt like a long time, without saying anything. The expression on his face seemed like a combination of wonder and curiosity. 

‘Your friends are in safe hands Deputy… you don’t need to worry, my brothers and sister will take good care of them.’ His lips slightly curled into a small smile. 

Lenni couldn’t bring herself to speak. She felt like she was in a nightmare, where you try to scream but physically can’t. Her head was throbbing to the point where she felt like she was about to vomit.

‘We have been expecting you for a long time Deputy, and finally our paths have crossed. I was told you would be coming to our church…’

She furrowed a brow, how could Joseph have known who she was? Why did _they_ expect her?

‘I am so glad you are finally here, we all are. It’s just a matter of time now until you join us.’ Lenni couldn’t grasp what he meant. He knew she was going to be at the church? Was that what he had told her, or was she seriously concussed? She felt like she must have been imagining all the things he was saying, because none of it made any sense.

‘The seal has been broken. I’ll be seeing you again my child, and it will be soon.’

Lenni’s stomach turned and she hunched herself over to heave until she was physically sick. Her vision quickly became blurry and her limbs felt heavy until all her senses completely faded away.

* * * * *

When Lenni tried to move and couldn’t, she panicked. The feeling of restriction made her open her eyes and gaze around the fuzzy, unfamiliar room. Eventually her movements became less docile and her vision finally focused, revealing that she was trapped in someone’s bedroom. Both of her wrists were cuffed to the legs of a wrought iron bed. She clenched her jaw, trying to figure out how the hell she even got there.

‘Come in Mary May, come in Jerome,’ called out a male’s voice from another room. 

She wriggled her wrists, another feeble attempt to break free. But the metal cuffs clanking against the iron quickly caught the attention of whoever had captured her. Footsteps became louder, until an older looking man stood in the doorway with a pissed off expression on his face.

‘Well everything has all gone to shit since you lot tried to arrest Seed. The fuckin’ roads are all closed and the damn radio towers have been shut down. Now I can’t fuckin’ reach anybody.’ He stood there for a moment, taking a long look at Lenni before he crouched down to unlock the handcuffs.

‘Th-thank.. you.’ Lenni croaked. 

His expression slightly softened as he sighed. ‘I should just hand you over to ‘em…’ his voice trailed off and he shrugged. Lenni shook her head vehemently, ready to start pleading.

‘When I found you, you were laying in the woods all by yourself in a huge bliss cloud... it’s why you probably can’t remember much of anything huh? Pretty weird though, because there weren’t any bliss barrels around…’ 

Lenni frowned, bliss, bliss barrels… The last thing she could remember was Joseph sitting in the helicopter, humming softly like a maniac.

‘Bliss?’ she asked, rubbing her temple trying to soothe the headache she had.

‘Come on out here, I’ll get you something to eat and we’ll talk more.’ He nodded towards the doorway. She clumsily stood up and slowly followed him into a large room filled with computers, televisions, radios and more.

‘The name’s Richard Roosevelt… but just call me Dutch.’

‘Hey. Call me Rook, everyone else does...’ she shrugged as they shook hands.

‘I guess you’re wondering about my setup?’ Dutch smiled a little, noticing her staring at everything around them. ‘For awhile now, I’ve been working with a few people to monitor what’s been going on in Hope County…’ 

Dutch dragged another chair next to his, inviting her to sit down with him. ‘This fuckin cult is just getting bigger. People are dying, others are being taken from their families… I’ve been keeping contact with Mary-May and Pastor Jerome over at Falls End. I’ve known ‘em for years, we wanna build a resistance against the cult.’

Lenni exhaled slowly, this was huge. 

‘Look, I know your colleagues have been taken… but we can work together. Take down the Seeds and get your friends back.’

‘I don’t think I have a choice,’ she shrugged. ‘Count me in.’ 

Who knew how long it had been since she ate last, but when Dutch returned with a tall glass of water and a can of baked beans, her stomach growled like she had sat down ready to eat Christmas lunch.

‘You uh,’ she started, with a mouthful of beans. ‘You said something earlier about finding me in bliss? What did you mean?’

‘Bliss is the drug that the cult uses to get everything they want...’ Dutch explained, ‘it’s made from a flower found in the Henbane Valley and mixed with a shitload of chemicals to make people hallucinate, and even knock them out.’ 

That moment a foggy memory popped into her head. She was completely surrounded by trees, but couldn’t place where or when that was. Her thoughts were interrupted by one of the televisions on the wall, making a loud, static noise. Soon the picture became crystal clear. 

‘We are all sinners,’ John Seed smirked into the camera. ‘Even The Father knows deeply of sin...’

Dutch and Lenni watched the television, as John spoke of living free of sin, and the quality of life for anything who succumbed to his cleansing. The promises he was making, started to make Lenni furious. 

‘Are people seriously volunteering themselves for this bullshit?’ she asked incredulously

Dutch scoffed. ‘Some. There’ve been people in the past who had nothing or nobody, turn to them believing that they’ll give them a better life. But majority of the people have been taken and forced into it.’

‘With just the power of one word. Yes.. Yes, I wish to be unburdened…. If you’re watching this, just know that you have been selected. You will be cleansed. You _will_ confess your sins and be offered atonement.’

Dutch shook his head sadly, ‘then we don’t see them again.’

‘Oh, and don’t you worry.’ John added, ‘you won’t have to do anything... we will come for you.’

Lenni clenched her jaw as she stared at John’s smug face, knowing that his broadcasted message was for her. For a split second before the camera cut out, Lenni spotted Joey in the background. She gasped.

’He’s got her,’ she shouted, pushing the chair away from her legs as she quick stood up. ‘Did you see her? She’s there! Fuck.’ 

‘Rook, can I make a suggestion?’ Dutch asked, without giving her any time to answer. ‘You won’t get anywhere without a plan. We need to get the radio tower on the island running again. Once you do that, I can help you whenever you need while you’re out there.’ 

He pointed to the different surveillance screens, that continuously switched views of different locations through Hope County on loop. She knew he was right, she needed his help… and a plan. Earl had told her over the years, time and time again, to never act on emotion. She needed to take his and Dutch’s advice. 

‘Alright I’ll head out now and fix the tower.’

Dutch had given her a backpack filled with everything she could ever need before setting foot. It didn’t take long at all for her to fix the tower, and Dutch kept true to his word by calling through on her radio straight away. 

‘Before you even think of going after any of the Seeds, you need to meet some other locals who are also willing to help out. Over at Falls End, you’ll find Mary May at the bar and Pastor Jerome in the church. They’re real good people.’

Lenni began her trek to Falls End. As she walked along, she couldn’t help but think about the vision she had earlier of the trees. She scratched her head as she tried to figure it out, recalling everything she could before the crash. The arrest, Staci shouting, Joseph humming… but then what? It was frustrating not to be able to remember.

‘Rook.’ Dutch called through, which made her stop still. ‘You’re right near a civilian who’s been captured by some cultists. Take ‘em down and free the civilian.’ 

Lenni nodded, spotting the cultists standing over a woman, who was knelt down with her hands tied behind her back. She lined up her scope and clenched her jaw, taking two clean headshots.

‘Done and done.’ She said under her breath as they both fell to the ground next to the woman. 

‘Oh my- you must be the Deputy,’ she stared at Lenni in surprise. ‘They were getting ready to take me to John for cleansing… thank god you’re here.’

After a few steps, the woman stopped and turned around. ‘Be careful ma’am. Them peggies… they’re all talking about ya.’ 

Lenni watched on as she rushed away, before looking down at the two bodies who lay dead by her feet. Since joining the academy, she had sometimes wondered what it was like to shoot someone. But she never thought that as a Deputy in Montana, where many of her days were spent resolving petty little things, that it would ever come to this. 

There was no way she could continue acting like a Deputy anymore, not now. 

Now, the gloves were off.


	5. Meet and Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenni meets with some Guns for Hire. The Rye’s have her over for dinner before she quickly captures the heart of a certain loveable pyromaniac.

The main street of Falls End, looked like a ghost town. Months ago, there would have been kids playing everywhere, kicking a ball around and having fun as their dog ran around barking. Country drivers would cruise through slowly to park outside the bar for their afternoon beer. 

Stupid fucking cult.

Lenni looked down the street at all the shopfronts, the one electric sign still in tact blinked ‘The Spread Eagle’. She slowly opened the door, cautiously peering inside before stepping in. The cosy little country bar would have been a great place for a night out. Lenni smiled to herself as she looked over at the jukebox. Drinking with friends, slow dancing to the music… 

‘You must be the Deputy,’ she heard a voice call out from behind the bar. There stood a tall blonde woman, stern looking too.

‘Are you Mary May?’ Lenni asked

The woman nodded once. ‘Dutch told me you’d be making your way over… drink?’ 

‘Just a water thanks,’ Lenni smiled politely. ‘I’ll uh, come back again for a decent drink after all this… is sorted.’ 

Mary May huffed through her nostrils, ‘if you can help sort any of this fuckin shit out, your drinks are on me. You have my word.’

The women spoke at length about what had been going on in the County. Mary May explained what her own family had been through with John, which all sounded fucked up. 

‘That sick son of a bitch loves to tattoo people’s sins and then later on, carves the skin back off.’

Lenni stared at her, horrified. ‘That… is fucking disgusting.’

She had to get Joey out of there. 

‘You’re gonna need people with you Rook. Some of the locals have put their name down to be Guns for Hire. They’ll back you up and help you with whatever you need, any time.’

‘Ah Deputy,’ a man greeted as he walked into the bar. He smiled sad nodded when she turned around, holding out his hand. ‘I’m Pastor Jerome, Dutch just filled me in.’

‘I’ve got a list somewhere that’ll help you out,’ Mary May murmured as she pulled a beer for Jerome. 

‘There’s a few people around... ‘ Jerome said thoughtfully as he took a sip. ‘Nick Rye is an all round good guy. A pilot who has his own plane.’

‘Oh and Grace Armstrong,’ Mary May added as she flicked through the pages of her notepad. ‘She’s ex-military, with a sniper aim that could shoot off a bee’s dick… Ah here we go.’ 

Lenni read through the list aloud, name by name. ‘Adelaide Drubman, Sharky Boshaw… Hurk Junior….’ 

She stopped when she heard Jerome groan and Mary May chuckle. 

‘Sharky and Hurk… they’re cousins who are both into heavy explosives Sharky especially. They may possibly share the same brain cell.’

‘But they ain’t scared of shit,’ Jerome mused. ‘Well none of them are actually.’ 

‘Honestly I’m happy for anyone’s help if they’re up for it.’ Lenni shrugged. 

‘Look Deputy…’ Jerome turned to her. ‘Anything you can do to help the Resistance, means a lot. If you’re willing to fuck shit up for the Seeds, you’re going to get serious support- and I’ve got a good feeling about you.’

‘Word is getting around already about you Rook,’ Mary May smiled. ‘I’ll radio out, so they know to expect your visit.’

* * * * *

When she visited Nick Rye at his home, he and his wife Kim had insisted that she stay for dinner. They spent the evening chatting, laughing and sharing all kinds of stories about the barbecues they used to host at their house.

‘Man I’ll never forget it,’ Nick chuckled. ‘There was a knock on the door and fuck! There they were, with Joseph proudly holding one bowl of watery Mac and Cheese.’ 

He took a long swig of beer, ‘I shoulda known then and there that they were fuckin’ murderers.’ 

Both women laughed. ‘I wonder which one of them made it?’ wondered Lenni, still chuckling.

‘Well we both have different theories on that one.’ Kim grinned, side-eyeing Nick as she rubbed her very pregnant belly. ‘See, I think it was John, because he strikes me as the little rich kid who has had everything done for him… I reckon that day he was given the _one job_ of making the Mac and Cheese. The first thing he’s ever done all by himself, and it was a massive fuck up.’ 

‘Nah nah,’ Nick waved his hand dismissively. ‘See, I still think it was Jacob. Because there’s just no way he can cook, being in the army all that time and all.’ 

‘No way! He wouldn’t even attempt it. Mac and Cheese is too gourmet for him and his high protein diet.’ Kim joked, causing even more laughter to erupt between the three of them.

* * * * *

It felt weird to steal a car. But was it _really_ stealing when there were so many left abandoned throughout the Valley? Eyeing off the next car she saw on the side of the road, she couldn’t help but notice the word ‘SINNER’, spray-painted in large block letters on the bonnet.

‘Fucking obsessed with sinning..’ she grumbled to herself, shaking her head. 

Whoever it was that sprayed it, had left their can on the roof of the car. She probably wouldn’t ever need it, but she took it anyway.

When Lenni finally pulled up outside of Moonflower Trailer Park and got out the car, a strong smell of propane hit her like a slap in the face. She flared her nostrils, turning around slowly as disco music suddenly started to blast obscenely loud.

‘For fuck sake, it’s loud enough to wake the dead,’ she said exasperatingly, quirking a brow. 

Kim had told her all about Sharky. He was a pyromaniac, who was constantly in trouble with the law. That’s when Lenni remembered Joey telling her about him one time. It was ages ago, and he had tried to hit on her after she fined him for public intoxication and letting off fireworks.

There was no way she was about to just waltz onto the premises, not with the stench of propane and whatever that was burning, in the air. She stalked along the property and knelt down in the tall grass, squinting through her binoculars. She spotted a guy on the far side of the property, standing on top of one of the old rundown trailers with a mammoth-sized flamethrower.

‘That’s gotta be him,’ she snorted

Sharky wouldn’t have been able to see her watching him, as he danced and bounced to the music. He was cheering and ya-hoo’ing, as if he was celebrating some kind achievement. She was surprised to catch herself smiling at his big goofy grin.

As Lenni slowly walked through the entrance of the trailer park, she kept her eyes on Sharky as he was still moving to the music but facing the opposite direction. She propped a ladder up against one of the trailers to get up on the roof, keeping her fingers crossed that the guy wasn’t going to accidentally burn her to a crisp.

When he eventually turned around, he did a double take. She was quite possibly the prettiest woman he had ever seen. Her long, curly blonde hair, twisted around into two long messy braids. Oh and that smile…

Sharky gulped, looking down at her dusty dark green Deputy’s uniform and back up to her face as she gave a little wave.

‘Hey there,’ Lenni called out, after he rushed to turn the music off. ‘I’m the Deputy Mary May might’ve spoken to you about?’

Sweet monkey Jesus. Had he of known there was a Deputy who looked like that, he would’ve happily obliged to go with Whitehorse back to the office all those times.

‘Uh, hey there!’ He chuckled nervously, ‘the name is Charlemagne Victor Boshaw, but just call me Sharky.’

He took a couple of steps closer towards her, rubbing the back of his neck. ‘Shit, I knew there was a Deputy on their way out but…’ He paused as he glanced down at his flamethrower, ‘I didn’t expect you to show up so soon.’

‘Oh,’ Her eyes widened, ‘sorry, it was rude of me just to show up-‘

‘Nah nah, it’s all good,’ he insisted. ‘Welcome to the disco inferno man! It’s my special place where I can just be me… Without the prying eyes of my parole officer, witnesses or law enforcement such as yourself.’ Sharky chuckled again, as Lenni could feel herself blushing. Thank god for long grass.

‘I gotta fuckin’ sweet sound system of one-hundred and ten decibels, playing the hottest music ever created… Every time I turn it up man, those dipshit cult-angels come runnin’. I dunno if they love or it hate it but… fuck it sure is fun to melt their faces off.’ 

‘Cult-angels?’

‘Oh just the brain-dead zombies that Faith creates. They’re pretty fuckin violent, so I’m just doin’ my bit to send them off to disco heaven.’ He shrugged

‘Hey…uh, do you wanna join me!?’ he asked, with a smile so sweet and wholesome. But as soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to kick himself. 

What kind of fucking idiot asks a Deputy Officer if she wants to light people on fire?

‘Sh’yeah, let’s fuck it up.’ She smiled crookedly, which made him laugh as he made his way over to the main switch. 

‘You ready Dep?’

She nodded, giving him the thumbs up as she pulled her gun out from her thigh holster. Disco Inferno blared through all the speakers in surround sound, enticing hordes of pale, bald angels to come running from all directions. Without any hesitation, Sharky held up his flamethrower and projected a long thick ribbon of flames which left their charcoaled bodies laying in a heap.

‘Holy shit…’ Lenni scoffed in shock, but quickly joined in as more came running. 

‘Shoot ‘em in the head Dep, otherwise they’ll just get back up again.’ Sharky’s voice boomed from the microphone on his headset. He stood in awe, watching how quickly and easily she started clearing them out. 

‘Beer o’clock?’ he called out, after he switched the music off again and was climbing down the ladder. Lenni opened her mouth to answer, before three cultists cars cane tearing through the Park and screeching to a halt. 

‘Sharky!’ Lenni cried, as Peggies began to fire at them from behind their vehicles. She got most of them before quickly ducking down behind a corrugated iron piece, using it as a barricade to reload.

Standing back up, she could hear him mouthing off at the cultists even though he had backed himself into a corner. Lenni ran to the other side of the trailer roof and could see the three Peggies left were closing in on him.

‘SHIT!’ he cried as he fell backwards, shot by the last Peggie left standing before Lenni finished him off too.

‘Sharky!’ She rushed over to him, crouching down to softly place her hand on his chest. He slowly opened his eyes and gazed into hers, they stared at each other for a long moment until she broke the silence.

‘Where are you hurt?’ Lenni asked softly, taking off his hat

He blinked a few times before looking downwards, ‘uh, my um… left shoulder.’ 

Lenni rubbed his chest gently, trying to console him while she had a look. ‘You’re lucky that it’s just a bullet graze, but it’ll definitely need cleaning.’

She huffed as she helped him up on his feet as wrapped her arm around him as they walked.

‘Sounds like a good time to me Shorty.’ Sharky forced a breathy laugh, feeling embarrassed at getting injured so soon after meeting her. ‘Here we are… Boshaw Manor, where there is strictly a no-pants policy.’ 

Lenni looked around as she followed him inside. It was a little old house, with street signs on the walls, loads of empty pizza boxes and beer bottles left on the coffee table. A typical bachelor pad. 

‘Uh.. sorry just ignore the mess, I wasn’t expecting guests today.’ He flopped onto the couch, a little too roughly judging by the way he winced. 

‘Okay shirt off.’ She told him as she slid the mess aside and sat on the coffee table, pulling the medical kit from her backpack.

Sharky hitched his breath as he tried lifting his hoodie, struggling to reach up to get it over his shoulder. Lenni leant forward to help him, noticing how good he smelt. Her eyes casted back to his bloodstain singlet, which revealed a nicely toned body after she had pulled that up too. There were a few scars which had spread across his torso. Probably from his pyromaniac escapades. 

Their faces had become so close that Lenni had to avoid making eye contact with him as she cleaned the wound. She listened to his shaky breathing, then as he hissed at the stinging sensation when she applied the antiseptic serum.

‘Done. My best patient so far, even though you’re my first.’ She grinned, leaning back to look at the finished dressing. He gave her a bashful smile and ducked his head.

‘These will need washing,’ She scooped up his smelly, bloody clothes and stood up.

‘Hey uhh… Dep?’ He paused, running his hand through his hair. ‘Does this mean you won’t uh.. want me to like, help out and that?’ 

Lenni gave him a puzzled look, as he looked down at his fidgety fingers. ‘I just hope that I haven’t made a shitty first impression or nothin.’ 

‘A shitty first impress- are you kidding me Boshaw?’ She plonked back down on the table. ‘Of course I want to your help! Actually…’ 

‘Actually…?’ He looked at her, eyes widened. 

’Well, only if you’re up for it… I’d really like it if you were able to help out me out on a more regular basis?’ The way she looked back at him with such hopefulness in those gorgeous eyes of hers, made him melt. ‘Unless you’re busy of course…’

He let out a huge sigh and grinned. ‘Shorty, I certainly ain't busy. You can count on me for anything and I mean it. So when do we start?’

‘As soon as you’re able to move your arm properly.’ She smirked, the guy had such an infectious smile. 

‘Hell yeah Po-po.’ He slumped back onto the couch, mumbling happily. ‘Now it’s definitely beer o’clock!’


	6. S I N N E R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter, but my favourite so far. Hope you enjoy your time over at Seed Ranch :)

Lenni, Grace and Sharky spent the morning, laying belly down in long grass, spying on the Seed ranch through binoculars. They had the idea of somehow luring John out from his secret bunker, and following him back so they could save Joey. But luring him out was harder than Lenni expected it to be. How many silos, peggies, and cultists trucks did she have to blow up for him to react?

‘Do we actually have a plan?’ asked Grace, after an hour of them scouting from afar.

‘Not really,’ Lenni pursed her lips, disappointed.

‘Yeah uh, there is literally nothing interesting happening here.’ Sharky said flatly, just before the huge electric door of the aircraft hangar opened, revealing a small blue plane.

Affirmation. John’s pride and joy.

They watched as a small group of Peggies trudged into the hangar, carrying buckets and large yellow sponges.

‘No way… they’re not-‘ Sharky began to say, as they stared ahead incredulously. As soon as the cultists started washing it, all three of them started snickering like school children.

‘How much pocket money do you think John gives them after they’ve done their chores?’ Grace scoffed.

‘You know… it’s one thing to give up everything in your life to follow this cult. But you’re also expected to wash their fuckin’ cars and planes too?’ Sharky stared at them in disgrace.

They watched on in amusement as Affirmation was given a complete detail and polish, and by the end, even _they_  were slightly impressed with how nice and glossy it looked. Eventually the Peggie’s picked up their buckets and sponges, and headed over to where five small white trucks were parked on the opposite side of the ranch.

The three kept watching, until it was safe to assume that the Peggies hadn’t realised that they forgot to close the hangar door behind them. Even the ladder was left propped up against the plane.

‘It’s almost like they’re _inviting_ me to go and … tag it,’ Lenni smirked as she carefully pulled the spray can out from her bag so it wouldn’t rattle.

‘Stay here,’ she whispered to them

Grace and Sharky watched as Lenni stealthily moved in closer until she made it inside the hangar undetected. She stood pressed up against the wall, waiting until the coast was absolutely clear before darting across the room to climb the ladder.

Heart racing, she shook the can quickly before spraying S I N N E R in gigantic letters across the side of the planes shiny body. She was about to make a run for it, but paused. It needed something else. It needed a...

She spun around and sprayed a huge dick and balls on the end, just after the R.

The three of them hightailed it out of there and kept sprinting until they finally reached the main road. Sharky was laughing loudly the entire time they ran, and was hunched over slapping his knee when they stopped. Even Grace was laughing quietly behind her hand, shoulders shaking.

‘And now, we wait.’ Lenni grinned mischievously, and shrugged.

 

* * * * *

In the prestigious living room of Seed Ranch, sat Joseph and Faith, quietly discussing upcoming plans for the Henbane River region. Caterers were busily walking back and forth between the kitchen and dining area, preparing for the family’s weekly dinner meeting.

‘And how are our new acquaintances?’ Joseph asked

‘Very well,’ she grinned, ‘the Marshall should be ready to walk the path anytime now.’

‘My Faith, you really have shown to be a wonderful herald for the Henbane.’ He smiled at her dotingly, just as Jacob arrived quietly.

‘Brother,’ Joseph greeted warmly, standing up. The two leaned in to rest their foreheads together affectionately, like they have done since they were children.

‘How are you Jacob? How are things at St. Francis?

Jacob was usually a man of few words at their meetings. He always felt out of place and uncomfortable with the all the luxuries and expenses. ‘Yeah, everything is plottin’ along.’

‘And the Deputy? Has he shown any improvement?’

Jacob shook his head, ‘I’m taking it day by day. But he’s a bit of a dud that one… broke down within two days and failed the first trial miserably.’

‘Ah..’ Joseph stroked his beard, pursing his lips.

‘He’s weak, but is already showing signs of loyalty to The Project. I’m gonna keep him around a bit longer, until he’s no longer useful.’

Out of his siblings, Joseph had the most confidence in Jacob to do the right thing by him and The Project. Unlike their baby brother, who still struggled emotionally from what he had endured in the past.

‘Where is he anyway?’ Faith asked, ‘he knew the dinner was for tonight, didn’t he?’

Jacob slowly closed his eyes in frustration. He didn’t care for Faith at the best of times, and he especially hated the whole teachers pet act she always puts on around Joseph.

Just as Joseph reached over to pick up his radio from the side table, they heard the front door slam shut, followed by thundering footsteps against the floorboards approaching the main room.

‘You will NOT believe what that bitch has done,’ John’s voice boomed throughout the ranch.

‘Who?’ Faith asked innocently.

‘Oh you know who,’ he snapped. ‘The Deputy, that’s who.’

‘Lets discuss the matter civilly, shall we?’ Joseph said calmly, gesturing at the large expensive leather couches they were already sitting on.

‘What has happened John?’

The youngest of the brothers sighed as he plonked on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose. ‘She broke into the ranch today. That’s why I’m late here… I’ve been downstairs watching the surveillance tapes.’

‘What did she do?’ asked Jacob

‘Nothing in here, she didn’t come in here at all. She went into the hangar though…’ John sat back up straight again, ‘and vandalized my plane.’

‘How did she get in there?’ Jacob pressed, ‘where were all your men?’ He honestly didn’t give a damn about the plane, materialistic things meant absolutely nothing to Jacob. But being The Project’s head of security, he was irked by the lack of vigilance from John’s Chosen.

‘She waited for them to finish cleaning and polishing it, then she literally ran in and sprayed sinner in massive letters…’

Joseph held his hand up to pause him. ‘Just a minute. You allocated all of your security to clean your plane?’ Both Jacob and Faith looked awkwardly around the room, anywhere and everywhere, except at their brothers.

John went quiet, he didn’t dare argue with Joseph. He guiltily hung his head.

‘Yes…’

Joseph clenched his jaw as he rubbed his temple, ‘continue,’ he sighed.

John changed the tone of his voice, aware of Joseph frustration with him. ‘She also sprayed a… penis and testicles on it too.’

Faith covered her mouth and Joseph lowered his head in disappointment, he expected better from her. Jacob, although still pissed about the men abandoning the area, found her rebellion somewhat amusing. He scratched his moustache to hide the slight curl of his lips.

‘You know she’s baiting you, right?’ Jacob asked, as they all stood up to make their way to the dining table. ‘Your reaction now… is exactly what she‘s after.’

John shrugged, ‘well she can tell me all about it when she confesses.’ He leaned in close so only Jacob could hear, ‘I’m sending a capture party for her tonight… Blondie bitch is gonna fucking regret it.’

It was late when the meeting finally wrapped up. They had gone over reports and discussed the deputies, exchanging details on everything they knew about them. This managed to get John back into Joseph’s good books again, as he had used his lawyer connections to find out all kinds of information.

‘Jacob, a word?’ Joseph asked, after Faith and John said their goodbyes. Jacob nodded and stood back, waiting for the others to leave.

‘The Deputy…’ Joseph began, beckoning Jacob towards the couch to sit down again.

‘I’m assuming you mean the rookie?’

Joseph nodded once. ‘She’s an interesting one. As you know, The Voice told me about her quite awhile ago.’

Jacob sat leaning forward, elbows rested on his knees. He had no idea where this conversation was leading to. But when it came to Joseph, he knew that everything always lead to something.

‘What I’ve never mentioned before is… I have known about her since John and I found you at the shelter. Well, a few days after that, to be precise.’ The homeless shelter. It was a sore topic for Jacob, and one of many things in his last he didn’t like to think about.

Joseph gazed at his older brother, leaning forward and steepling his fingers. ‘I need to let you know that… The Voice has shown me that the Deputy is directly linked to you. I have seen her as your soldier, and I’ve also seen her as something more to you…’

‘Regardless…’ he continued, ignoring the look on Jacob’s face. ‘She is meant to be with us.’

He was met with silence from the Veteran. ‘I trust that when the time comes, you'll make the right decision… at least for yourself brother.’

Jacob nodded. It was all he could think to do, as he watched Joseph stand up and make his way to the door. Joseph understood his brother’s silence, he actually expected it. About to let himself out, he turned back around to face where Jacob had remained seated.

‘We will need to watch John around her. She must be kept alive, our lives all depend on it.’

As soon as he heard the door close, Jacob slumped back into the couch, rubbing his hands against his tired looking face.

‘Fucken hell.’ He muttered


	7. Pretty Woman!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of many nights where Lenni and Sharky have stayed in a cabin alone. Except this time is a little different. 
> 
> *finger guns*

Sharky crouched down in front of the fireplace, admiring the glow of the bright amber flames. The banging and clanking sounds in the background made him look over his shoulder in the direction of Lenni, who was searching through the abandoned cabin’s food stash trying to find something for dinner. 

‘Yo Dep, what’s on the menu tonight?’ he called out. She finally emerged from the pantry, holding two tins of canned soup.

‘So it looks like we’re going gourmet again,’ she groaned. ‘You’ve got a choice of cream of mushroom or... pea and ham soup.’ She would honestly be quite happy to never see another can of fucking soup again. 

Sharky scrunched his nose up. ‘Great. Yeah well I know how much you hate pea and ham soup, and uh, I’d actually like to wake up alive tomorrow… So there’s no actual choice here Shorty.’

‘Oh come on now, I'm not going to kill you...’ she scoffed, as she poured them into bowls and zapped them in the microwave. ‘Not over soup anyway.’ 

Trying to sit as close as possible to the fireplace, they huddled on the floor next to each other, leaning back against the front of the couch. The warmth from the fire and the soup, soothed the chill in their bones from being out all day, on foot in the cold. 

They ate their dinner, chatting away about music and life before the cult. Sharky was always so intrigued about Lenni’s ‘old life’.

‘I’ll tell you what, after all this shit is over… we’ll go for a drive to the big city and I’ll show you around.’ She held the bowl up to her mouth, drinking the rest of the soup that she couldn’t be bothered scooping up with the spoon. 

‘Hell yeah! Count me in.’ He grinned, watching her closely. Every day his feelings for her were growing stronger, it was getting to the point where he was struggling to hide it. Even when she was doing the most mundane thing, like drinking soup, it was fucking captivating. 

‘Hey… how ‘bout this.’ she nudged his leg with her knee, unintentionally snapping him out of his thoughts. ‘We’ll do a road trip, eat _all_ the good food, and stay in a fancy hotel!’ She grinned, ‘you know… like the ones that have the fluffy white bathrobes?’

‘Just like Pretty Woman!?’ Sharky shrieked. His sudden outburst made made Lenni crease up. It felt good making her laugh, it was was never hard for him to do. But it didn’t take long for his grin to slowly fade. 

‘What’s wrong?’ Lenni frowned at him, noticing his face fall

‘Oh nah… nothin.’ He shook his head quickly as he leant back against the base of the couch

Her eyes narrowed from his face down to his fingers, which were drumming rhythmically against his leg. He only ever did that when he was nervous or anxious about something. ‘Did I say something wrong?’ 

‘Nah it’s nothin like that,’ he sighed as he took off his hat and tossed it aside. She wasn’t going to let this go.

’It’s just hard you know? Trying to think about things while all this shit is going on.’ 

Come on man, fuckin out with it already. 

‘And anyway... after all this is over you’ll probably wanna get outta here for good, right?’ He picked at one of his fingernails, trying to avoid any eye contact with her. 

Lenni wrapped a curl around her finger and slowly shrugged. ‘Honestly it’s hard to tell… I mean, it depends on what happens. If we take down the cult, then I guess there will be a lot to do in terms of rebuilding around here…’

It wasn’t like what she was saying was boring, but he did completely zone out. He couldn’t concentrate anymore, the Deputy really had no idea about the affect she had on him. Sharky stared at her, the same way he often did when he thought she wasn’t looking. He liked the way her long black lashes outlined her hazel eyes, though sometimes they looked more green. And then there was that cute little dimple on her left cheek when she smiled…

‘… Earl mentioned that we might get involved in-‘

‘I just I really like having you around.. is all.’ He blurted.

Lenni stopped and smiled bashfully. She had never met anyone like him. No one nearly as sweet, or could make her smile that way he does. As much as she tried to remain focused on what she had set out to do in Hope County… Sharky had somehow managed to work his way into her head.

‘Before all this I used to just smoke, drink… light shit up. Oh and I’d hang out with Hurk too of course but, that was it,’ he explained.

‘And it wasn’t until you came along, everything just.. it just got so much better.’ He rubbed the back of his neck as he cheeks flushed noticeably pink, ‘you uh, you changed my whole world Shorty.’ 

Her heart skipped a beat, and she turned to face him properly. There was a long moment of silence between them, as she stared at her fingers and traced patterns on the sleeve of his hoodie. This probably wasn’t the best idea, or the right time. But she had thought about him. Many times…

‘I’m not going anywhere Boshaw,’ she practically whispered

Hesitantly, he swept a few long curls away from her face, noticing his hand was slightly trembling.  
‘My god you’re gorgeous,’ he murmured, his husky voice sounded intoxicating. 

‘Kiss me,’ she mouthed with a slight smile 

Sharky slowly brushed his lips against hers, instantly addicted to how warm and soft they felt against his. The whiskers from his goatee tickled and scratched her skin, in a good way. 

He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. It had been a long time since he had kissed anyone, but this was more than worth the wait. No kiss had ever given him butterflies before, but hers definitely did, especially when she began to trace the outline of his lips playfully with her tongue. He couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his arms around her tightly, to pull her closer. 

Lenni ran her hand up his hoodie and along his chest, listening to his sigh contentedly. She smirked against his lips, as she moved to straddle him. 

‘Am I dreamin? I must be dreamin. Are you sure about this?’ he mumbled. Since the day they met, he had thought of this moment over and over. Never had he once, expected it to happen.

She huffed a soft laugh, nodding. By then her other hand had found its way under his singlet, running her fingers down his toned body and smooth skin. Sharky’s hands gripped her arse, giving it a squeeze, as they playfully flicked and circled around each other’s tongues.

‘Who taught you to kiss like that?’ she gasped, her eyes sparkled mischievously. She wanted to personally thank them one day.

He chuckled, ‘You ain’t seen nothin yet chica’  
He tilted his head back so he could look at her properly. She looked like some kind of damn goddess, staring down at him seductively with the fire crackling behind her. One by one, Sharky unbuttoned her shirt and opened it up to admire the view of her in a white satin and lace bra. He could feel his pants becoming uncomfortably tight.

‘Jesus...’ he ran his fingertips along the fabric, tempted to just pull it down to see more of her.  
The deepness of his voice, made the heat fuel in her core. She closed her eyes as she rolled her hips, rubbing herself against the bulge in his jeans. 

When she unzipped and pulled his jeans open, she licked her lips at the sight of his throbbing hardness, with his tip already glistening from pre-cum.

‘Free ballin huh?’ She smirked as she leant right over, before opening her mouth

The sounds of cars fast approaching and screeching to a halt outside the cabin, quickly put an end to their moment.

‘Fuck.’ She cried, as they both jumped up and grabbed their weapons while desperately trying to button and zip their clothes up again. Within seconds there was a loud commotion outside just before a large group of Peggies knocked the door down and came barging through.

Lenni and Sharky managed to shoot their way through, continuously moving to get to the back door. Sharky kicked it open, just as another carload of them tackled him to the ground. By now Lenni was firing in all directions, while a few kept Sharky pinned down. Before she knew it, she was completely surrounded.

Screaming and shouting, the cultists kicked Sharky multiple times to try and keep him still but he wouldn’t let up. He managed to get a quick view just as the gunshots stopped. She had run out of ammo and was completely surrounded. Sharky jerked his head around more, looking through pairs of legs to see her being restrained.

A dull thud put an abrupt stop to her shouting and swearing. The only voice that could be heard after was Sharky’s, yelling out to Lenni as her body lifelessly hit the floor.


	8. Black Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cleansing and confession, has John learning that he has more in common with the Deputy than he realised.

He stood knee deep in the water, eyeing her up and down. She had certainly seen better days… but his men insisted that they had no choice but to pistol whip her to keep her contained. John didn’t actually care though, she just had to be alive. She, being the woman who had been terrorising his region.

The bitch who spitefully vandalised his plane.

He stared her down, until he knew she could finally recognise him through her blurry vision and swollen eye.

‘Wait.’ He held his hand up, signalling to cultists who were about to take her away. ‘This one isn’t clean.’

Oh how he had been looking forward to this very moment. Sneering, John quickly lunged forward and grabbed her roughly by the hair. Pushing her underwater, he laughed bitterly as she struggled against him.

‘Think you’re clever huh blondie?’ Gritting his teeth, he shook her violently and kept her there until he felt her starting to weaken under his strong hold. John could feel his anger pulsate through his body, as he wrenched her back up again by a fist full of her hair.

‘Don’t you worry Deputy,’ he growled roughly, his beard brushing up against the side of her face, ‘This is just the beginning you little...’

‘John... do you mock the cleansing process?’

John froze, wondering how long Joseph had been standing watching. He released his grip on Lenni and took a step away from her.

‘No Joseph.’ He answered, hanging his head guiltily.

‘You have to love them John, stop allowing your sins preventing you from doing so…’

The disappointment on Joseph’s face was unmissable. John was walking on thin ice and he knew it. He wasn’t a high achieving, suck up like his ‘sister’ Faith. And he didn’t have a dominant ‘no fucks given’ attitude that Jacob had. John was the black sheep of the family. The wealthy party boy, coke fiend, sex addicted gambler... who gave it all up instantly to be with his brothers. But it didn’t stop him from struggling with his urges on a daily basis… sometimes hourly if it’s a _really_ bad day.

Joseph reached out towards Lenni, ‘bring that one to me please.’

John’s men dragged her over to him, as John walked apprehensively alongside them. The closer she got to him, she more clearly she could see Joseph and the stern gaze he was giving her.  
  
‘Despite everything you have done Deputy, you are not beyond salvation. Irregardless of whatever your beliefs may be, you are not here by accident or chance.’

Lenni listened to him, concentrating as much as her waterlogged head would allow her to. She stared at his face, into his eyes… wondering why she felt an odd sense of déjà vu.

‘My child,’ Joseph mused. ‘Did you know that you have a gift? It remains to be seen whether you choose to embrace it, or cast it aside.’

Joseph slowly looked over at John, ‘this one shall reach the atonement… otherwise the Gates of Eden will be closed to you.’

* * * * *

Lenni ached everywhere. Her head was throbbing, and it was an effort just to even try and open her eyes. She had a horrible taste in her mouth… something like chemicals and oil? When she finally did try to move it was no use anyway, she had been tied up and gagged.

‘Rise and shine Deputy…’ A male voice cooed

Her head bobbed lazily, blinking at the blurred figure standing in front of her. She already knew who it was though, because who else wears a blue silky shirt and vest in Hope County? Lenni blinked slowly as she exhaled a tired and frustrated sigh.

John chuckled softly as he cupped her cheek in his hand, and what was a warm musing smile quickly turned to cold. ‘Deputy. You have been a real thorn in my side lately,’ he said in a low voice. 

Her eyes followed him as he slowly walked around the room. ‘And if it were up to me…’ he shrugged nonchalantly, ‘you would be dead.’

‘But… The Father sees something special in you.’ There was a bitterness in his voice, which he couldn’t for the life of him disguise. He _needed_ her to confess and atone, he _needed_ to show Joseph that he was capable…. that he was enough.

He was desperate.

‘So how about we make a deal...’ He crossed his arms, completely masking his insecurities with his default smug behaviour.

‘You confess your sins, and I’ll let you see your little Deputy friend.’

Lenni’s eyes casted downwards, feeling defeated. It wasn’t much of a deal, but she had to go along with it. At least she would be able to see Joey and know she was definitely still alive. Still silenced by the gag, Lenni looked up at him and nodded. A smile spread across his face.

‘You’ve made the right choice Deputy,’ his eyes sparkled as he bowed his head.

She took a deep breath after he removed her gag. Lenni’s parents hadn’t brought her up to be religious, so the whole concept of confession was never part of her life. However being _forced_ to confess? This was different again. She had no idea what to say.

Lenni frowned trying to think, as John toyed with the tattoo gun.

‘I confess to the sin of wrath..’ she sighed. ‘My... oldest friend and I don’t speak anymore because of it.’

She had John’s undivided attention. He stared at her with his icy blue eyes, not wanting to a miss a word. This wasn’t going to be any confession, this felt more like a trophy.

‘My friend didn’t want me to join the police academy. She was, still is I assume, in the corporate world. Loaded with enough money to have everything she wanted. She laughed when she found out I was considering a future in law enforcement, and told me I was being stupid.’

Lenni hadn’t told this story to anyone, why she decided to John first of all people… who the hell knew? ‘My parents agreed with her, I think they wanted me be all rich and successful like Zara was. So that drove me even more to go and do it. To piss all of them off. As far as I know, to this day they all still keep in contact regularly…. But I haven’t heard from any of them in years.’

It hurt to tell that story and the feeling of rejection and not being good enough returned. She wasn’t going to let herself cry, certainly not in front of John fucking Seed. But she definitely felt a tug at her heart. She was quick to shrug it off and laughed softly, ‘I guess I’m the black sheep of my family.’

John said nothing, he was actually speechless. Surprised by how much her story resonated with him, part of him wanted to reach out to her.

‘I saw the look on Hudson’s face in your broadcast. I wanted to pull you out of your little hiding spot and face me. So I could save her. That’s why I graffitied your plane.’ She watched him closely, trying to find a reaction to what she had said. John’s eyes twitched a little, at the mention of the graffiti. It was still a sore topic.

‘But then again,’ she shrugged as much as her restrictions would allow. ‘If saving a friend is a sin… then your beliefs are even more messed up than I thought.’

‘Oh Deputy.’ John scoffed as he shook his head. ‘Saving a friend wasn’t your sin, it was what you _did_ to try and save her.’

She tilted her head thoughtfully and pursed her lips. ‘And what about your own little wrathful performance at the lake John?’

So much for _just going along with it._

John raised an eyebrow, ‘what ever do you mean?’

‘You were all pissy about your plane getting tagged, you got rough and ready with me, insisting that I wasn’t _clean_.’

She wanted to kick herself. Her sin wasn’t wrath, it was having a big fucking mouth.

John sat very still as he glared and started to grind his teeth. It bothered him that she wasn’t scared or even intimidated by him, like Hudson was. Or like the others were of his siblings. No matter what, she still found a way to get under his skin.

‘I really don’t know what Joseph sees in you.’

Lenni shrugged, a slightly smug smile spread across her face. ‘Apparently more than he sees in you at the moment.’

John stood up quickly, pushing the stool away with the back of his knees. It probably wasn’t the best thing to say to him at this point in time. His face was red and his eyes flashed, as he raised his hand high above his head. He swiftly brought it back down, swiping her face with an almighty force that walloped her face so hard that her entire body moved with the impact. Lenni’s chair tipped over, causing her shoulder and the side of her face to break the fall onto the polished concrete floor.

‘Ohhh have it your way, _wrath_ ,’ he hissed.

Lenni could hear him storm across the room dramatically, leaving her there on the floor with the weight of the chair anchoring her down. Her face felt like it was on fire and the rest of her body felt a little numb, from weight of the chair.

Had he just leave the door open behind him? Curiosity got the better of her. Grunting, she worked hard to try and spin herself around so she could face the doorway. She wriggled her wrists, and gasped.

She couldn’t do that before.

The impact of the fall must have loosened the ropes somehow. Lenni’s heart thundered against her chest as she desperately freed herself. She had no plan, fuck, why doesn’t she ever have a plan? Lenni stood up and looked around the room, in panic mode about what to do.

Enraged was an understatement, John couldn’t even see straight. She needed to be taught a fucking lesson. He barged into his office, and hunched over his desk and stayed like that… shakily breathing.

‘Keep it together,’ he muttered. ‘Just get her to atonement.’

He stared ahead at the framed photo on the back wall of him, Jacob, Joseph and Faith. Life was so different now, nothing like the freedom he had in Atlanta. But here in Hope County, which had absolutely nothing going for it besides The Project, he had his family. And he so desperately wanted to stay with them, through the collapse and all. John began to feel more composed.

He wasn’t shaking anymore and he didn’t feel so… _busy_ in the head. He walked back through the empty halls of the bunker whistling ‘We’ll Meet Again’. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be around, it would’ve been around four o’clock in the morning by now. John quickly strode back into the confession room when he stopped in his tracks.

The door closed softly behind him, which made him turn around slowly.

_Fucking Wrath._

John raised his hands, staring down the barrel of the gun pointed directly at his face. The small click of the safety switch being flicked off, sounded deafening in the quiet room.


	9. Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Call it dumb luck or an act of bravery. Lenni’s confession ends abruptly. But at what cost?

He should want to hurt her, _kill_ her. He needed her to confess and atone but… at the same time John couldn’t help feeling somewhat impressed by her. It had been a while since a sinner had challenged him during confession. And he has always enjoyed a good old game of cat and mouse.

Lenni stood feet apart, both hands firmly gripping the M9 as she aimed it directly at his face. John chuckled his famous smarmy chuckle. 

‘Well well, Deputy. That gun does look familiar.’ John mused, briefly glancing over at the trolley where the top drawer was left open. 

She slightly shrugged one shoulder. Honestly if it wasn’t for John’s complacency and smug self assurance, she would have been screwed. 

‘I suppose I should thank you for leaving it in an obvious place huh.’ 

‘Touché…’ he said, flashing his well known charming smile. ‘After all, sharing is caring.’ 

It was clear that John wasn’t _at all_ fazed by having a weapon pointed at his face. Lenni motioned him towards the chair, where he sat obediently while she restrained him. It was as if he was following her orders just to humour her… intrigued by what she was going to with him and what she was actually capable of. 

He watched her curiously, thinking back to the night at the church. The Sheriff, who he knew already from various encounters over the past few years. He seemed decent enough, for a Sheriff anyway. The Marshall, just another arrogant prick who was busy flexing his position of authority. He and Jacob laughed about him afterwards, at the power he thought he had by holding up a stupid piece of paper at them. And then her, who they called ‘rook’. Why the hell would they get a newbie to cuff Joseph? Unless…

‘So what’s your plan _rookie_?’ He asked, emphasising her nickname. ‘Kill me and my siblings and then cross your fingers that everything goes back to the way it was?’ 

She eyed him off as she walked back to the trolley to grab the handcuffs she had noticed next to the gun. 

‘I’m not really the superstitious type.’ Lenni retorted. That was actually a lie. The amount of times she had purposely ran around ladders and not under them during a liberation, past black cats without announcing the bad luck myth, had both Grace and Sharky eye-rolling. 

John tilted his head thoughtfully, well aware that she had a knack for evading questions. She definitely didn’t seem like a new deputy... but then why hadn’t they seen her before the arrest? Meanwhile Lenni could feel his eyes on her, watching her every move. She tried her best to ignore it, as she took a seat on the chair in front of him. 

‘I want to make a deal with you.’ 

A _deal_? With _him_? John raised his eyebrows, wanting to laugh. Who the fuck did she think she was? 

‘I’m all ears Deputy.’ 

‘Let Hudson go.’ Her boldness made John chuckle. 

‘If you release her’ she continued, ‘and I’ve seen her to know that she is okay, then I will come back to replace her.’ 

He went quiet, it was definitely a tempting offer. Hudson was boring at the best of times, and having blondie instead…. she was far more interesting. Entertaining. 

‘And you’ll confess again.’ 

‘Yes,’ she practically whispered

That word. She said it slowly, maybe even a little seductively, knowing he seemed to have a bit of a kink for it. She watched him gulp, as his eyes remained fixated on hers. 

‘And why, Deputy… ‘ he started quietly before his tone became icy, ‘would I trust you to keep your word? After all… you are the _enemy_ in this. _You_ are the trouble maker who has been trying to undo all of our hard work.’ 

Lenni remained quiet. She could have argued back, defended herself and the Resistance, gotten all pissed off… whatever. But it wasn’t worth it. Not with Joey there. However it was unsettling to know that they… the Seeds, classify her as the one doing the wrong thing. 

Cult logic, go figure. 

‘Well realistically… you actually don’t have a choice right now.’ She said jutting her jaw forward, referring to the restraints. 

‘Oh there’s always a choice Deputy. And may I ask, what would happen if I decline your… offer?’ 

Lenni didn’t flinch. ‘I kill you right now and then all of your men one by one in their sleep. I’m assuming that’s why it’s so quiet out there? And then… I’ll use the key you have hanging around your neck to release Hudson.’ 

The calmness in her threat, made John smile. Rookie? Yeah bullshit. 

‘And how do I know you’ll keep your word?’ She leant forward slightly, he could see the fierceness in her eyes. 

‘Because, a deal’s a deal.’ 

‘Deputy...’ he warned, ‘if you don’t come back.... I will capture every one of your friends and ensure they all suffer severely until they each take their last breath.’ 

She nodded just as her heart sank, not doubting him for a second. She had just unintentionally used her friends as collateral damage. This had to fucking work out. 

‘It’s a pleasure doing business with you Deputy.’ John said, his expression was unreadable. 

From not having a plan, to now this. Lenni wondered if she was doing the right thing. She walked behind John and applied the gag over his mouth. Tying the knot of the fabric, her knuckles brushed against the soft skin on the back of his neck. Lenni immediately saw a little boy who looked around four years old. He had big, beautiful, blue eyes and dark brown hair. So cute that it made Lenni smile a little, until he started running. He wasn’t playing, he was scared. 

He ran through an unfamiliar old house, and into the back room which was dark and gloomy. Crouching down into a ball, he started to suck his thumb and whimper in the corner. She heard footsteps, but she could peel her eyes off from him. He was pleading, loudly and desperately, as his body began to tremble. Lenni tried to understand what he was saying, but it was difficult through his sobbing. 

A wave of pure terror washed over Lenni, causing her to gasp and take a quick step away from John. Her heart was pounding, thumps pulsating through her head as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. She slowly walked around him until she stood in his line of vision. He must have heard her, judging by the confused frown on his face. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

Backing away slowly, Lenni picked up the gun and sprinted out of the room. 

*****

Jacob pulled up outside John’s bunker and switched off the engine. He sat there for a moment, staring straight ahead. The conversation with Joseph was still playing on his mind. Not that he would ever admit it, but what his brother told him, had pissed him off. 

He wasn’t interested in the Deputy. Or anyone for that matter. 

The extent of romance, in Jacob’s life, was a one night stand. Even then, they were never allowed to spend the night. They were expected to fuck off straight after the deed was done. He couldn’t even remember when his last one was. Years ago. 

Jacob simply didn’t need, or even _like_ being around other people that much. In comparison to his brothers, he was nothing like the youngest. John often confided in Jacob on personal matters, and openly admitted to not only craving sex, but the intimacy with a woman. But The Project encouraged… _expected_ celibacy until marriage. John dreamed of one day having a family, much like what Joseph had. 

Joseph met his wife when they were seventeen. It was love at first sight and they got married as soon as they were both eighteen. Jacob and John were convinced that the death of his wife affects him significantly to this day. And the situation with his baby daughter... was one Jacob purposely pushed out of his mind. 

Aside from his brothers, Jacob didn’t need anyone. He thought the whole concept of love was weak. And Joseph was aware of his opinion on the matter. Perhaps that was why he held off telling him until now.

_We will need to watch John around her. She must be kept alive…_

_Our lives all depend on it._

It was the final thing Joseph said from that conversation. 

And _that_ was the real reason why he was at John’s bunker. To make sure his brother didn’t lose his shit and kill her. Because it wasn’t like it hadn’t happened before… it had, a number of times. They just made damn sure Joseph never found out. But covering up a dead Deputy wouldn’t be as easy. 

Sighing, he was just about to shift himself around to open the door, when he saw movement up ahead. A blonde blur, running away from the bunker with two angels clumsily chasing her. She was _quick_. 

Racing towards his car, obviously not realising that he was in it, the two locked eyes. For a split second, she faltered and slowed down as she comprehended that it was indeed The Veteran staring back at her. 

‘Fuck,’ she hissed. He was the last fucking person she needed to run into. She bolted past and towards the woodlands, not looking back in case it slowed her down. 

‘For fuck sake,’ Jacob grunted as he quickly grabbed his rifle and ran towards the bunker’s entrance. From the way she was tearing out of there, something had obviously happened. The Deputy getting away wasn’t his concern right now. 

Jacob scowled as he looked around the empty halls. Dragging his rifle along the indentation of the industrial metal and concrete walls, his voice booming changed everything immediately. 

‘Where the fuck were you all. Fucking dreamland? Stay vigilant, and remain on your fucking shifts.’ He bellowed at them, as he strode through. John’s men nodded meekly, standing to salute him as he staunched past. They were all terrified by the giant herald who grunted in frustration. 

Storming towards the door of the confession room, he barged in to find John sitting there, patiently waiting. 

‘Jesus Christ,’ Jacob muttered as he rushed over to undo the Deputy’s craftsmanship. ‘What the fuck happened?’

As soon as the Jacob removed the gag and ties, John stood up and readjusted the collar of his shirt. He patted his brother on the back, breaking into a broad smile as if nothing had happened. ‘Jake, as usual your timing is on point.’ 

Jacob clenched his jaw, annoyed but yet confused by his unusual level of calmness. John was well known in Hope County for his short, practically non-existent, patience. 

‘What the hell happened here? And why are all ya men all going to sleep and waking up at the same fuckin time?’ 

John ignored his brothers tone, and quietly nodded in the direction of his office. Sitting down, he explained to Jacob what had happened that evening. Though he left out what Joseph had said at the lake. He needed some time to process that by himself. 

Jacob raised his eyebrows in disbelief, ‘and you’re absolutely sure that she’s gonna come back?’ 

‘If she likes having friends she will,’ he smiled wryly

‘So when are ya gonna release the other one? Whatsername.’ He didn’t give a rats about any of their names. 

‘Oh I’m not rushing, she never discussed a time. I’ll keep her waiting for a little while.’ John rocked back on his chair so he could prop his feet up on his desk. He yawned loudly and stretched his arms before clasping them behind his head.

‘Plus anyway… you know how it is Jake. I don’t want to look too desperate.’


	10. Undeserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was no way Lenni or John could have expected what was to come. Lenni is starting to really feel the stress of leading the Resistance as well as trying to help her own friends.

It wasn’t until that afternoon when John casually strolled into the room where Deputy Hudson was being kept. The rare sight of him made her squirm nervously in her chair, and the gag around her mouth was stifling her pleads.

All this time, she had been kept in a dark room, completely restrained. She was fed the bare minimum each day by one of John’s men, but as the days passed – she was starting to break down. She tried to entertain herself with her own thoughts, which at first was just brainstorming ways to escape. But her thoughts were becoming more irrational and scattered. It also didn’t help that the speakers in the walls softly played John’s, Jacob’s and Joseph’s recordings on loop.

John knew that the Deputy Hartfield would have expected him to release her soon after she left. She knew he was desperate for her confession… and he was. But John being John, he hated the thought of her calling the shots. There was no way he was going to bow down to a Deputy. Confession or not.

This was was all going to be on _his_ terms.

He stood with his arms crossed, staring down at Hudson as he waited for her to settle. Even though tears continued to roll down her cheeks, she eventually quietened down.

‘I have some news.’ He said quietly, gazing at her coldly. ‘Your friend has decided to make a compromise.’

Joey sat with bated breath, taking in everything he was saying word by word.

‘She has proposed that I release you on the terms that she must come back to take your place. Quite a generous and stoic move, don’t you think?’ His lips curled into a slightly amused smirk as he watched her reaction.

Her heart sank as she gave a hopeless whimper, everything already seemed so hopeless and now it seemed even worse.

‘Oh don’t be sad Deputy… there is an upside to all this. You’ll still get to confess your sins.’ He grinned, eyes twinkling as he said the word confess.

He expected defiance, the usual reaction to confessions by all at first. But not this time. Joey just stared back at him with dull and expressionless eyes.

After he removed her gag, she still remained quiet as he rolled her chair into the confession room. He had everything set up, ready to go before he sat down in front of her and smiled.

‘Now Deputy, we haven’t seen much of each other during your stay here. But I assure you, whatever it is you wish to talk about today… you truly have my undivided attention. I’m here to _free_ you of your troubles and _help_ you begin a new and better life.’ John’s voice was soothing and nurturing, making Joey feel compelled to talk even though it took her a little while to come out and say it.

‘I-I... I don’t deserve to be released,’ she said meekly

He tilted his head curiously, ‘and why is that?’

‘Deputy Hartfield’s a good person... I-I’m not. She doesn’t deserve to be here, to replace me.’ John looked at her thoughtfully, choosing not saying anything so she could continue.

‘I‘ve... done some horrible things… things I’ve never even bothered to make up for.’ Joey’s time alone in the bunker had given her _too_ much time think about her life. She told John about her past, sleeping with married men, lying, drug use, seducing people to get what she wanted. Albeit, she hadn’t done most of those things in a long time, but there was something else which plagued her mind more than anything.

‘I was out on patrol with my old partner, Danny. I was so hungover that day, so we grabbed some greasy food,’ she explained. ‘We were pulled over to the side of the road, eating our burgers, when this truck just came _flying_ past. Danny wanted to go after it, but I didn’t…I tried talking him ‘round, to just leave it and finish our food. But he didn’t want to.’ 

Exhaling slowly she continued, ‘he chased after the truck, siren going off and all. The truck pulled over and Danny told me to just stay in the car because he was just going to give him a warning.’ John’s blue eyes stared into hers intently, nodding slowly as she spoke, which made her keep going.

‘So I did, I just stayed in the car drinking my milkshake. Suddenly I heard rounds being fired… but I didn’t get out of the car straight away. Could’ve been shock or just a delayed reaction because I wasn’t in my best form, I don’t know.’ Joey looked down, her face was ridden with guilt. It had been a long time since she had told this story, Lenni would’ve been the last person to hear about it.

‘I blamed everyone. The person who made the milkshake, because if they hadn’t of taken so long things might have been different. Then I blamed Danny, for going after him in the first place. But now I know who was at fault…’ Joey though back to Earl, Burke, Lenni, everyone at the office who had told her that it was the truck drivers fault. He was the one speeding and would’ve only received a warning, but instead he pulled the gun out. But she still carried the guilt. Regardless what everyone said, nothing made a difference.

‘You.’ John responded softly, ‘… it was your fault. You were so lazy and hungover that you didn’t do your job properly. If you weren’t hungover and sloppy, Danny would still be alive.’

Listening to John as he confirmed what she had always thought, made her face contort as she began to cry.

‘Sloth. That’s your sin. For not helping Danny when he needed you.’ His tone was vicious, with every word slicing through her and breaking her down even more than she already was.

‘When you atone, you will no longer feel burdened. You’ll be free.’

As he carved SLOTH across her chest, she squeezed her eyes shut and tolerated the excruciating pain. This was for Danny, it was the least she could do now that her thoughts and fears were now confirmed. Joey could feel blood begin to trickle down her breasts and stomach, but it was necessary. She was on her way, to trying to become a better person.

John stood back to admire his handiwork, smiling proudly with his arms crossed.

‘J-John?’ Joey stammered, interrupting a long silence. His eyes shifted up from the bloody marking across her chest.

‘I would like to join The Project and march to Eden Gate.’

*****

‘Deputy.’

Lenni was sat on the floor of the room above Spread Eagle, fumbled for her radio before angrily pushing the button down. 

‘John. What the hell has taken you so long?’

‘We’ve had an… unexpected turn of events.’ He said, sounding far too polite. She could almost hear him fucking smiling.

‘If you have hurt her… I swear…’ she warned through gritted teeth

‘Oh calm the fuck down _Wrath_. She’s just fine.’ He rolled his eyes as he held his radio, his feet propped up comfortably on his desk.

‘She has asked to stay.’

‘… _What?!_ ’ Was John bullshitting? She repeated his words over and over in her head. Did it mean she had chosen to stay because she didn’t want her to replace her? Or…

Surely she wasn’t _staying_ staying.

‘It means the deal is off. As much as I would like your confession-‘

‘What was the unexpected thing?’ Lenni cut him off, demanding to know. ‘Actually you know what? I want proof that she’s alive.’

‘That can easily be arranged Deputy… I’ll be in touch.’ John chuckled before abruptly switching his radio off, causing the frequency become completely silent.

He knew exactly what to do. Unlike Lenni, who fucking _launched_ her radio across the room in frustration. Sitting back on the floor against the bed, with her knees tucked up, she buried her face in her hands. She thought Joey was minutes away from freedom - and now nothing. Apart from breaking into the bunker, which would be suicide for her and dangerous for Joey; there was nothing more she could do. Meanwhile, the rest of the County were still wanting her to help them more and more. Hell, she hadn’t even been to the Whitetail Mountains yet to meet Eli.

So she took advantage of the rare time she had to herself… and just allowed herself to cry for as long as she needed.

*****

Hey Shorty!’ Sharky beamed as he gave her a huge hug as they stood at his doorstep. ‘I knew you would get outta there. Fuck, John must be throwing a real tantrum to Broseph right about now.’ He chuckled

‘I don’t think that’s the case…’ she sighed as she walked into Boshaw Manor and slumped onto the couch. After explaining everything that had happened, Sharky frowned as he listened. As much as he knew that she could handle her own, it bothered him that he couldn’t protect her. The night she was taken from the cabin, left him feeling like he had let her down.

‘I just don’t know what to do anymore,’ Lenni said softly as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

He pulled her into him and rested his head on hers. She quickly thought back to when they were last together, which reminded her that they really needed to talk.

‘Hey about what happened the other night-‘ she started to say

‘Dep, you don’t have to say nothin. You’ve got so much shit going on, I get it.’ He patted her gently on the shoulder, which made her sigh softly with relief.

‘…and honestly it was only a matter of time.’

She pulled away and looked up at him, ‘what do you mean?’

‘You are so like, unbelievably and hilariously outta my league,’ he scoffee. ‘Plus you’ve got some serious arse kickin to do. You don’t need to be worrying about extra stuff.’

Lenni huffed, shaking her head, ‘that league stuff isn’t true Sharky… but the rest is. You’re still one of the most important people in my life Sharks.’

‘You too chica, I’ll always be there for you.’

She gave him a quick kiss on the temple, ‘ride or die Boshaw. I’m going to go for a walk and try to work out what to do next.’

‘Want some company?’ he asked, ‘we can blow some shit up.’

‘Nah, I just need more time to think about what to do next. Won’t be long though, I promise.’


	11. The Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenni meets another Herald, and their encounter is nothing like she had anticipated. It turns out, Lenni’s little daydreams all stem from somewhere...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: somewhat graphic/various mentions of physical and verbal bullying.

Sitting on the rock ledge, she gazed at the beautiful sunset almost disappearing below the horizon. The stunning combination of golds, pinks and purples rippling across the big Montana sky reminded Lenni of why dusk is her favourite time of the day. She couldn’t stop from thinking about Joey and blaming herself for what had happened. If only she could just _talk_ to her… and know for sure that she was actually alive and somewhat okay.

Lost in her own thoughts, the sound of a giggle nearby caught her attention. Lenni glanced over her shoulder and spotted a woman with ethereal beauty, spinning around slowly in the long grass.

Faith.

Within less than a second Lenni was up with her rifle pointed, aiming it directly between her eyes. 

‘Oh Deputy,’ she laughed softly as she slowly twirled in her white dress. ‘That that isn’t necessary.’

Lenni let out a huff, still squinting through her scope. ‘Well if you’re anything like your brother.’

Faith stopped still and stared back at her, ‘which one?’

‘What the fuck do you want Faith?’ Lenni murmured, ‘can’t I just sit and enjoy the sunset in peace?’

‘Peace.’ An amused smile broke across Faith’s face as she tilted her head. ‘That’s an interesting word. And of course you can, I just wanted to talk.’

Lenni clenched her jaw. She had heard many things about Faith Seed from the locals during her travels, mainly stating that she couldn’t be trusted. The fact that she wanted to _talk_ , rang alarm bells in her head. 

‘Talk about...?’ she ask curiously but remained completely still and keeping her finger rested against the trigger.

Faith shrugged, surprised at the Deputy’s noticeably defensive reaction towards her, ‘I just wanted to meet you.’

‘Okay well we’ve met now, so-‘

‘The Father speaks quite fondly of you…’ she interrupted, slowly lowering her hands and letting them fall down at her sides.

Knitting her brow, Lenni was confused. ‘I don’t understand why…’

‘He knew you were coming a long time ago. Did you know that?’

 _Fuck_. It was an intense moment of realisation, which made her stomach feel like it had stopped. The conversation she had with Joseph after escaping the chopper suddenly became clear as day.

_‘We have been expecting you for a while now Deputy. I knew when you were making your way over to the church. I am glad you are finally here, we all are._

_It will be just a matter of time now until you join us at the Gates of Eden.’_

‘He... may have mentioned something,’ Lenni slowly admitted. ‘But how did he know?’

‘Well.’ Faith began, ‘The Father has a gift, a voice who speaks to him and provides him with visions of what is imminent.’

‘He hears voices?’ Lenni repeated flatly, now wasn’t the time for her jokes or sarcastic comments. 

‘Just one voice. _The_ Voice… A trusted guidance from a higher power,’ Faith said matter-of-factly. ‘The Voice told him about you and that you will be joining us Eden’s Gate. So naturally, I wanted to meet you myself. Especially knowing that you also have a gift too.’

Lenni did a double-take, ‘sorry-what?’

‘You.. you don’t know?’ Faith stared at her incredulously. ‘Joseph said your mind works differently... but they don’t actually know how. I think I do though, I know it sounds strange but I can sense it.’

Lenni could feel herself becoming defensive. ‘What’s wrong with my mind?’

Faith giggled lightly, ‘nothing is wrong with you Deputy. Please, may I show you?’ Faith asked

The Deputy paused to contemplate it for a moment, wondering if this was another standard Seed trap.

‘No bliss.’ She told her firmly

The Herald nodded enthusiastically, ‘I promise! No bliss at all whatsoever.’

‘And no other kinda bullshit either.’ Lenni raised her finger at her. ‘Like, kidnapping or tattoos… and whatever other weird shit your family are all into.’

‘Of course Deputy, of course…’ Faith said, biting her lip as if she was trying not to laugh at her bluntness. ‘But we do need to sit closer though.’

As she shifted herself closer, she raised her hand and placed it over Lenni’s head.

‘What are you doing?’ She frowned 

‘Just give it a minute and you’ll see…’

They both sat there in silence. Lenni sat up stiffly, waiting for whatever was supposed to happen. She stared straight ahead, concentrating on everything and nothing all at the same time. And then it happened.

There was a girl, who looked no older than fifteen years old. She was walking along an old quiet road, not noticing an old blue convertible before it started driving alongside slowly as she kept walking. When she turned to look at the people in the car, they quickly pelted food and rubbish and whatever else they could. She froze, looking down at herself. They carload of teenagers and cheered loudly, before speeding away. Their laughter could still be heard even when the car was out of sight. Not sure how she did it, but Lenni got closer view of her.

‘It’s you…’ she whispered, as she reached out towards her. But she couldn’t make contact, the girl remained standing there completely unaware that Lenni was now standing next to her. Still sitting next to her, Faith remained quiet with her hand still raised above Lenni’s head. She didn’t  answer, it was hard enough reliving the moment again to show the Deputy. Abandoning her memory, caused everything to suddenly look blurry to Lenni. It was an almost unbearable combination of dizziness and disorientation, which was making her feel nauseous.

When she found herself in a room with pale grey floor tiles and white walls, that feeling instantly disappeared. Was she now in a girls school bathroom? Eyeing the crowd of girls in the corner, she could only _just_ see that they were all standing over someone who was sitting down with their knees tucked up. As they moved around, Lenni saw that it was Faith again with her hands shakily covering her face and head.

’ _Why do you even bother? You’re so fucking worthless.’  
_

_’Nobody likes you Rachel.’_

’ _If you jumped off a cliff, nobody would fuckin care.’_

_‘She won’t. Because she’s an oxygen thief. Aren’t you? Aren’t you?’_

The girl in front leant over and started slapping her over the head, which encouraged the others to do the same and start kicking too. 

Lenni sneered, listening to the sound of Faith sobbing loudly along with the swearing and screeching. She instinctively tried to move through, but it was no use.

Tears rolled down Faith’s face, she couldn’t bring herself to concentrate on that memory anymore to show how it ended. Although the broken nose, two black eyes and migraines from that day, she would never forget. Regardless of how upset this was making her, the Herald remained sitting there perfectly poised. Blinking her tears away, she focused on another part of her life. 

Standing in an old, dark room of a run down house immediately gave Lenni the creeps. The place wasputrid, with a few old soiled mattresses spread across the floor and mismatched pieces of worn in furniture oddly positioned around the room. 

As she looked around, she started to notice that there was a number of people in the room with her. It was easy to overlook them at first, because of the way they were slumped in corners or laying down underneath old clothes and newspaper. Lenni furrowed a brow, as she moved slowly through the house looking for Faith. Walking through the archway leading into a long hallway, she saw her sitting cross legged against the wall and staring lifelessly up at the ceiling. Next to her was a metal spoon, some syringes and everything else she needed to get herself in the state she was in. Her purse was next to her too, and it looked like someone had gone through it.

Lenni stood in the hallway for only a matter of seconds before she was back, sitting on the rock ledge next to Faith again.

‘As you can see… I struggled a lot.’ She said quietly, lowering her hand and placing it back on her own lap.

‘But,’ she continued. ‘The Father saved me and I was reborn. I’m in a far better place than I have ever been before! Everything he has told me, every piece of guidance he has given me has always been right…’

‘Faith I-‘ Lenni started, her eyes full of emotion

Holding her hand up, Faith cut her off. ‘Please Deputy, I didn’t show you that to make you feel sorry for me.’

‘But, h-how did I just…?’ 

‘I was right,’ Faith grinned at her. ‘All you needed was just a little help.’

Lenni cocked her head as she considered her response, when she gasped. The little boy she saw when she was tying the gag around John in the confession room. Faith wasn’t messing around with her.

‘I’m still confused. Why are you being so nice to me?’

Faith stood up, still smiling down at the Deputy, ‘I know you’ve heard stories about me.. that I’m a liar and a manipulator. But you’ll see, there’s more to my brothers and I than the stories you have have been told.’

She turned around and slowly began to walk away. ‘I’ll see you soon Deputy,’ she called over her shoulder with a little wave.


	12. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John stands by his word, and Lenni receives information which makes her decide on taking a different approach to helping her colleagues.

‘Hey kid,’ Dutch’s gruff voice travelled through the speaker of Lenni’s radio. ‘I’ve got confirmation on Pratt. He’s at the St. Francis Veteran Centre in Whitetail Mountains, Jacob’s territory… You gotta be careful there Rook, I’ve heard all sorts of fucked up shit about him… the guy makes John look like an angel.’

*****

‘What do you mean you _like_ her?’ John snorted as he leant across the dining table to scoop more potato salad onto his plate.

Faith shrugged nonchalantly, ‘she’s a nice person.’

‘… a nice person.’ John repeated, shaking his head and glancing over at Jacob to check his reaction. Surely he’d find that funny. The deputy who pulled his own gun on him, was apparently a nice person. But there was no reaction from the Veteran, he just kept his head down and continued eating his dinner without looking up at anyone.

‘But she’s been trying to undo all of our work, she’s painting herself as the enemy.’

‘Oh John,’ she tutted. ‘We don’t have enemies, only _challenges_.’

John quirked an eyebrow, making sure to remember that one so he could mock it when he and Jacob would speak next. And why  _was_ Jacob being so quiet tonight?

‘Besides…’ she continued, ‘with Joseph’s visions and all, I just thought it would be good to meet her and approach it in a way that well…. you can’t.’

John speared his fork into some pasta shells and finished chewing as he stared at her icily. ‘And what approach is that, _sister_?’

‘Civilly.’ She mumbled, as Joseph quietly cleared his throat as he returned back into the dining room.

‘Please… let’s avoid arguments, when we’ve been blessed with good food and company,’ he said with a gentle smile as he opened his arms and gestures. The family meetings at Seed Ranch, held more sentiment than just a weekly night of fancy catering.

Joseph introduces the weekly tradition as a way of making up for years of family dinners they never had. Their younger years in Rome, Georgia had been tough and some evenings they weren’t even fed. Mrs Kantini who lived across the road, looked out for them when she could, as well as Mr Golding who owned the milk bar on the corner. He would let Joseph sit and read all the new comic books and occasionally treat the three boys to a can of soda or ice cream on a hot day.

Even events like Thanksgiving or Christmas Day was like every other miserable day. The place stank of whiskey and cigarettes, there was no food, no turkey or magical moments of Santa for John… nothing. The last Christmas before Child Services came and collected them, Old Man Seed had drunk himself into an early slumber while their mother continued to sit and stared vacantly at the wall. The three boys were outside writing in the snow with a stick.

Mrs Kantini quietly beckoned them over from the front yard. She had kept aside the leftovers from lunch for them and set the table up all nice, to give them what would be their first ever family meal.

The boys eyes widened when they saw the hot food, silver cutlery, Christmas crackers, and a little present for each of them with their name on it. A small toy plane for John, a Spider-Man book for Joseph and a Swiss Army knife for Jacob.

She sent them back home before their father woke up again, worried that they would get in trouble. So unfortunately their meal with her didn’t last as long as they would have liked. But the memory did, which inspired Joseph to make sure they ate together at least once a week.

‘How’s the other Deputy goin?’ Jacob asked, it was the first thing he’d said since dinner was served.

‘Settling in,’ John nodded. ‘I’ve paired her up with Abigail and they’ve been listening to sermons from the bunker. I’m trying to keep her out of the open at least until the broadcast is aired. You know, just in case a _certain someone_ decided to track her down. Actually speaking of…’

The Baptist stood up and quickly walked into the living area picked up the remote. ‘It should be coming on anytime now, Lonny had it all programmed ready to go.’

Right on cue, Deputy Hudson’s face appeared on the large LCD screen that was mounted onto the living room wall. Joseph, Jacob and Faith lowered their cutlery and watched on from the dining table.

Ridded of her Deputy’s uniform, Hudson was wearing beige attire instead. Her newly short hair had been brushed, and any residue of old makeup had been removed. ‘To the people of Hope County,’ she began.

‘I want to take this opportunity to firstly denounce my role as a Deputy. After having time to myself and reflect on my life and the decisions I have made in the past… I have chosen a new path for my future. And that path is with the Project of Eden’s Gate.’

‘Oh watch this.’ John grinned excitedly at the television and then at his siblings. ‘The next part is my _favourite_ …’

‘I thank The Father for his forgiveness, and my new family for all their love and understanding. To Deputy Hartfield, who has always been supportive of me in the past - thank you, but please… I do not need saving. I have already been saved.’

As soon as the broadcast finished, John turned off the television and spun around excitedly to catch his family’s reactions.  
  
‘Well? What do you think?’

Joseph stood up from his chair and made his way over to his baby brother, extending his hand out to pull him in towards him.

‘You’ve done well brother,’ he murmured as he rested his forehead against John’s.

‘Nice one Johnny,’ Jacob smiled as Faith clapped her hands together as she grinned.

‘Now…’ John said as he and Joseph returned back to their seats. ‘Let’s see what blond- I mean, Deputy Hartfield will do next.’

He picked up his radio and was already smirking, ‘Deputy.’

‘What.’ She snapped immediately

‘Oh yeah she _pissed_ ,’ he snickered, delighted to have inconvenienced her in any way.

‘ _John_!’ Faith and Joseph sighed in unison about his language, while Jacob silently chuckled to himself without the others noticing. John’s expression quickly changed from a shit eating grin to completely serious.

‘Ah yeah, sorry.’ He mumbled, before pressing his finger back on the button.

‘I hope you were able to catch that broadcast. Because that, my dear, is the proof which _you_ requested. So count that as a favour Deputy, and now you owe me one in return.’

He switched his radio off, and placed it calmly on the chair next to him and calmly continued with his meal.

*****

It was clearly time for Lenni to relocate for a little while. The favour that John mentioned last night after Joey’s broadcast meant only one thing, and Lenni was in no mood for confession. Meanwhile the F.A.N.G Center was in dire need of help, radio’ing through to Lenni first thing to tell her of the situation with a missing diabetic grizzly bear.

‘I was heading over to the mountains anyway this morning, so I’ll stop by there first.’ 

‘Oh man, did I draw the short straw on this or what?’ Sharky complained jokingly, as he climbed onto the back tray of the small truck.

‘Sorry Sharks…’ Lenni shrugged slowly, looking back at him guiltily. ‘We’re just a little short of room.’ The three of them peered through the truck’s back window at Peaches, who was sprawled across the backseat looking up at them defiantly.

‘I’ll uh, get in the front I guess.’ Grace mumbled, opening the door and side-eyeing the cougar as she got in.

The drive up towards the F.A.N.G Center certainly wasn’t boring. Between blowing up cultists roadblocks, a helicopter and putting up with Sharky’s constant pussy jokes, things were intense. Lenni was relieved to finally get out of the car, after Grace looked ready to kill him.

‘Alright Peachy-pie,’ Lenni gushed at the cougar. ‘Time to gobble up some peggies.’ 

The group crept towards the center quietly, and Grace repositioned herself to a higher ground to work her sniper magic.

‘Get em,’ Lenni hissed to Peaches as she let go of her hot pink collar. The group broke up in different directions, taking out every cultist there. It only took a matter of minutes, bUtah then finding Cheeseburger the Bear took a lot longer. When they finally did, he was surrounded by cultists who called for reinforcements.

Lenni gritted her teeth from frustration, wishing they hadn’t attracted so much attention to themselves after only just entering the mountain region. But the reinforcements were only just a few more carloads of Peggies. Their high pitched screams could be heard miles away, as they were torn to shreds by the diabetic bear and a moody cougar.

As they watched the team re-enter the newly liberated F.A.N.G Center to set back up again, Lenni and Grace waited aside so they could top up on their ammo.

‘So! What’s next on the agenda Deputy Doolittle?’ Sharky chuckled. ‘Get it? Because of all the animals…?’

The look he received from Lenni, made it clear that he wasn’t to call her that again. He ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, still secretly pleased that it made a poker-face Grace stifle a smile.

‘Well... It’s time for Plan C, where I say goodbye for now and make my way over to the other side.’ Lenni gave them a tight smile. Grace and Sharky both looked at her, unable to hide their concern. 

‘And I already know what you’re both thinking… but there is a method to my madness.’

‘At least take the Fangs with you.’ Grace told her, almost as if she knew what Lenni was planning to do.

*****

Agreeing to keep the company of Peaches and Cheeseburger, Lenni made her way on foot through the harsh mountain terrain. They came across the occasional hunter here and there, and Lenni watched in awe as she watched the Fangs work together to take them down. Nobody stood a chance when Cheeseburger had them scared stiff before Peaches stealthily crept from behind and attacking with one fatal swipe.

The only downfall was occasionally waiting for Peaches as she fed on her victims. Especially when she had a real thing for the crotch area.

‘You and Adelaide really do have a lot in common.’ Lenni sighed as she leant against the tree, checking her watch.

When the view of the St. Francis Veterans Center appeared in the not too far distance, she frowned and glanced over at her Fangs. It would be crazy to let them go and do all of this alone... but it would be _stupid_ to put them in danger when she wasn’t entirely sure what she was up against. Giving them both ear-scratches and kisses on the head, she dismissed them.

Lenni watched on as they ran off happily in the opposite direction, before looking back at the large white concrete building surrounded by high gates and fences. She crouched down and kept low, venturing closer to be able to scout the premises properly. Looking through the binoculars, she could see a few of Jacob’s hunters remaining vigilant as they roamed the front yard. They were heavily armed, more so than John’s men. And they were dressed alike in red balaclavas and long jackets over their bulletproof vests. They weren’t the typical grubby looking peggies. They looked and acted more like soldiers.

A white cultist truck slowly entered through the gates and pulled to a stop. A few men got out, but she gasped when she spotted who had been driving. Staci had become a peggie too?!

‘ _Holy fucking shit._ ’ Lenni said under her breath

‘See anything interesting?’ asked a deep, gravelly voice behind her

She slowly turned around, knowing exactly who it was. His dark red hair, was swept to the side in a freshly shaved undercut and trimmed beard, and he had on his army jacket jacket, lucky rabbits foot and dog tags. Jacob Seed looked just like his propaganda poster she had just seen at the F.A.N.G Center.

He was loosely holding a red sniper rifle across his body, and although he wasn’t aiming at her, she knew better than to try and reach for her own.

‘Since you’ve come all this way Deputy… it’d be rude of me to not invite you in. Y’know, southern hospitality and all that.’

Lenni had no idea what to say, she was absolutely dumbstruck. Where did he even come from? How did a man of this size, get around so fucking quietly?!

Before she could even think of what to say, he quickly lunged at her. Lenni grunted at the strong pain surging down her leg, and then again at the uncontrollable sense of numbness which followed and spread throughout her entire body. Only moments later, she was met with complete darkness. 


	13. Are you impressed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Relocating’ to Whitetail Mountains has kept Lenni extremely busy within a short amount of time. It is Jacob’s region and he won’t be letting her forget it.

The wall Lenni was facing lit up, the brightness revealing that two other people were seated in the room with her. A clunking noise from behind, came from a slide projector that was revealing graphic images of wolves fighting, bones, flesh… blood onto the wall. Lenni squinted with disgust as she watched the images change from bad to worse, but was immediately distracted by the movement of a door opening and someone walking in.

Staci didn’t look at anyone, or say anything as he moved along the front of the room. He came to a halt, with his hands behind his back and only staring straight ahead. She wanted to call out to him, desperate for him to look at her and see her there… but Lenni knew better. Her horrified expression moved from him, to Jacob as she watched him slowly step to the centre of the room.

‘The world, is weak.’ He had the type of voice that was softly spoken, but people would listen from a mile away. The projected images continued to change behind him. Deers, meat, antlers, more wolves, then more meat.

‘We’ve all gone soft. We no longer hunt for our food or even search for water…’ he said as he slowly walked the room. And even though there were two other people in the room, he didn’t look at them. Her however…

‘We don’t build fires. We don’t _live_.’ She knew Jacob was looking at her, without actually _looking_ at her as he ever so slowly, made his way closer to where she was sitting.

‘And the solution,’ he said as he stood directly in front of her. ‘Is war.’

She hitched a breath, realising the Veteran’s obvious strength as he leaned down and pulled her chair inwards closer to him. His hands remained planted onto the sides of her chair and when he spoke, she could feel his breath against her skin.

‘And we will, cull the herd.’

The sound of a cuckoo clock echoed loudly through the room, as the lighting everywhere changed from darkness to bright red. Then a familiar guitar riff began to play…

_**Only you** _

Lenni’s restraints popped undone and Jacob and Staci were nowhere to be seen. She stood up immediately and noticed a gun placed on a nearby table, just as the chairs with the two other people both spun around to face her.

She watched them as she slowly picked up the gun. It wasn’t until they reached for their guns too, when she realised that she was being trialed.

_**Can make, this world seem right** _

To kill or be killed.

Lenni fired twice, and both people disappeared into a cloud of smoke upon impact. Jacob furrowed a brow, she had hesitated too much and didn’t have the best start.

_**Only you** _

‘Keep going,’ she heard him say. So he was around… somewhere.

The sound of a clock ticking grew louder, as she ran into the next room and swapped weapons on the way. Each tick of a second was pounding through her head.

 _Faster, faster, faster._ She shot six times, as she hurled herself over the barrier and kept running. The rooms were hazy and her vision was becoming more reddened around the edges.

‘Keep going.’

As Lenni entered more rooms, the targets multiplied and the hesitation was gone. She was shooting at any movement she saw and clearing rooms quickly.

_**Can make the darkness, bright** _

Jacob raised an eyebrow, ticking off more observations. He already knew she was quick, but her aim was good too.

‘Good, cull the herd.’

Jacob watched her every move, walking alongside her and she moved through the course.

_**When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do** _

The edges of his lips _slightly_ curled, at the amount of headshots she was getting in. Checking the time, she had definitely made up for the start.

‘Excellent, keep going.’

That voice… she wanted to hear it, again and again.

The clock seconds were ticking even louder than before, when Lenni bolted towards the doorway and slid down a tunnel to take a final headshot at the last person before she had even hit the ground. As soon as he was hit, everything paused in front of her - even though she could still hear everything.

_**You’re my dream come true, my one and only you.** _

‘Perfect…’ he said.

*****

‘You shouldn’t have fucking brought her here.’ She heard a woman’s voice say

We didn’t even know it was her.’ A male voice responded, sounding frustrated. ‘And anyway, we couldn’t have just left her there.’

Lenni let out a long groan as she carefully moved her leg. Everything hurt, badly. Holding a hand over her stomach, she squinted her eyes before trying to open them. When she finally did, all she could see were three strangers looking back down at her. A bearded man, a scowling woman and a young guy with two long braids.

‘Rook. I’m Eli… we’ve spoken over the radio before.’ The bearded man told her as she stared at him blankly. It took a little longer than it should have to comprehend what he had said. These regular bliss-blackouts were definitely fucking with her.

‘Oh… hey,’ she barely mumbled as she tried to move herself to sit more upright in the cot bed. She could _feel_ the woman’s eyes bore into her, but didn’t have the energy to think about it.

‘This is, uh Tammy and Wheaty.’ Eli smiled awkwardly, after catching the look on Tammy’s face. ‘Maybe rest here for a little longer. Then when you’re up for it, we can chat.’

He gestured for the others to follow him out of the room, not that it mattered anyway since Tammy’s voice could be heard from galaxies away.

‘What the hell Eli? You said so yourself that she just killed a whole bunch of our guys. Now we’re gonna babysit her?’

When the fuck did she kill a bunch of…

Lenni froze. Jacob’s trial.

They were real people? She frowned as her eyes casted downwards, trying to make sense of it all. But they were disappearing into smoke when they had been shot…

It was all real.

She quickly scrambled to get up, desperately wanting to apologise and plead her case to them. But the quick and sudden movement caused her weak legs to buckle and fall back down in a heap. Footsteps pounded along the polished concrete floor, as someone rushed back into the room.

‘Hey...’ Eli said as he crouched down to her. Lenni didn’t want to look up, and have someone see the tears spill down her face. There were so many people… and she had killed them _all_. 

‘Guess you heard her huh.’ It was more of a statement than a question. She nodded pathetically, completely incapable of pulling a sentence together at this point.

He sighed as he sat down on the floor next to her. ‘You were under Jacob’s influence. You aren’t the first and you certainly won’t be the last…’

‘Rook. I know you’re under a lot of stress now, but you really have been doing great things for our county.’

She huffed and shook her head. ‘Yeah right. Everything’s been a fuckin disaster.’

‘You’re giving people hope. There wasn’t any of that before you came along.’

*****

Eli had left Lenni alone again to give her some time to herself. Her guilt quickly turned to anger, giving her a driving force to get out there and purposely fuck shit up for Jacob Seed. She just needed a plan, which just the thought of it made her roll her eyes.

It’s never exactly been her strong point.

Sauntering out of the room, the first person she saw was Wheaty. He was sorting through some vinyl records, when he looked up and gave her an enthusiastic smile.

‘You spin?’ She asked, eyeing off his collection. He had a decent range of genres, and spotting a few disco vinyls made her smile. Sharky would be stoked.

‘Kind of… trying to teach myself,’ Wheaty shrugged, looking a little embarrassed. ‘See I had this idea of making my own radio station. No cult shit… and yeah just mixing it all up. You know they say music is therapeutic.’

This sounded like a plan.

Lenni smiled. ‘What can I do to help make that happen for you?’

His eyes widened as his jaw dropped a little. ‘Are you serious? You-you’d do that?’

‘Hey I’d be helping you _and_ pissing of the cult.’ She shrugged, making him laugh

Keen to get started on her little errand, she stopped by the central room which Eli was in. The setup was a lot like Dutch’s, with lots of screens, radios, maps… he was standing in the middle of the room leaning over a large table which was completely covered by a map of Hope County. It had writing, circled locations, and post-it notes all over it.

‘Hey uh, I’m about to head off. But just about before..’ she started Eli raised an eyebrow as he gave a little smirk.

‘Deputy, you have to have moments like that. It keeps you sane. Well, that’s my mantra anyway.’

She nodded once. ‘Well then, I’m going on a mission of-‘

‘Pissing of Jacob? I know, I heard you. Be careful… he’s not like the others, I should know.’

Lenni turned to walk out, but stopped herself just before she left the room. ‘Hey Eli?’

He looked glanced up at her, as he remained leaning over the table.

‘Thanks for saving me.’

*****

‘Sharky,’ she radio’ed out as she left the exit of Wolf’s Den

‘Shorty! What’s good?’

‘Ah don’t get me started. I’ll tell you when I see you, which will be soon if you’ve got time to help me out?’

‘Oh sure thing, Hurkules and I were just gonna sit around and light shit up. But that’s not until later anyway so…’

‘Okay uh, cool. Hey do you still have that map we found the other day? Remember? For all the vinyl record stashes and we didn’t know what it was for?’

‘Uh yeah,’ he answered. He sounded like he was moving around because of all the rustling noises in the background. ‘Yep, have it in my hand as we speak.’

‘Awesome, I’ve figured out a use for it. Can you come up to the mountains and help me find them? Two people, half the work and one inconvenienced red-head.’

*****

With another crate of records in her arms, she heard her radio crackle as she was placing them on the backseat of the car along with the others. It was probably going to be Sharky. Either he had already somehow managed to get all the vinyls, or he was calling to tell her that he’d been attacked by another turkey.

‘Deputy.’

Lenni froze, it wasn’t the John Seed syllable emphasis kind of Dep-Yoo-Tee. No, this was a much huskier, breathier kind. She gritted her teeth and slammed the car door shut, then yanked the driver’s door open to get in behind the wheel.

‘It’s rude to ignore someone ya know..’ Jacob drawled, ‘But I can tell by the look on your face that you’re still gonna listen to me anyway.’ He smirked to himself as he watched her on the screen from his office. It was amusing watching her mood completely change just at the sound of his voice.

‘What the hell do you want Seed?’ she asked abruptly. There was a long pause, and it pissed her off when she realised that she was sitting there _waiting_ for him to respond.

‘For fuck sake,’ she muttered to herself and shook her head as she turned the key and started to drive.

‘I just wanted to congratulate you on your efforts… haven’t seen a trial like that in a long time Deputy.’

‘They were real people…’ was all she could say. The sound of Jacob’s quiet chuckle travelled through the radio speaker.

‘It’s not a pretend game we’re playin here _Rook_. Although… after watchin ya yesterday, you don’t seem like much of a rookie…’

‘What can I say? Maybe it was dumb luck.’ She answered flatly, keeping her eyes on the road and concentrating on her driving much more than she needed to.

‘Maybe, but we’ll know for sure next time. And don’t you worry bout it doll face, I’ll come and getcha when I’m ready.’

 


	14. Animal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter contains graphic violence*
> 
> Venturing out alone, Lenni makes a few “rookie” errors which end badly.

Everyday life in Whitetail Mountains had been oddly quiet for about a week. Lenni hadn’t heard a word from Jacob since his radio message, even after she tore his beacons down and obliterated the radio jammers so Wheaty’s station could be aired. Nothing. However she knew she wasn’t his only problem, and was now aware of the ongoing war he has had with the Whitetail Militia.

But despite being quiet, it had quickly gotten to the point where Lenni needed to move on. It was feeling like the Wolf’s Den was getting smaller and smaller each day.

‘I don’t think it’s safe for you to be out there by yourself,’ Eli said with a disapproving look

‘I’ll be fine! Hey, just picture how excited Tammy is going to be.’ Lenni chuckled

Eli sighed, frustrated in knowing that if these women actually made an effort with each other, they would be a force worth reckoning with. The main problem though was with Tammy, and that she was almost _too_ loyal to Eli - and ferociously protective of the Whitetail Militia. It was why she was always suspicious of outsiders... so Lenni refused to kiss her arse just in hope she _might_ be accepted by her one day.

And Tammy didn’t like that either.

‘Keep in contact Rook, there is still so much to do out here.’ Eli quickly patted her on the back as they hugged.

It was during her travels in the past days, when Lenni had spotted a cabin tucked in amongst the trees not far from Cedar Lake. It looked like a great little place for her to lay low whenever she needed to. Picking the lock to get inside, she looked around. Aside from the thick musty smell from being abandoned for what looked like months, she was pleasantly surprised with her new place.

Lenni sat in the big armchair, sighing as she glanced around the room. It felt so strange, being somewhere all by herself. But she needed a place like this… somewhere where she wasn’t the Deputy or ‘Rook’.

Here, she could just be Lenni.

That evening it took her a while to fall asleep, which was weird because she had always been such a good sleeper. She felt a sense of uneasiness, that was making her toss and turn but again - she assumed it was because of the whole _alone_ thing. She dreamt a dreamless sleep, until she was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of something outside. Sitting upright and alert in the pitch black bedroom, Lenni slowly reached for her rifle that she had propped up against the bedside table.

The sounds were difficult to figure out at first, until she listened long enough to recognise the rustling of leaves and sniffing. So it had to have been an animal. Lenni crept through the cabin, until she found herself behind the front door. The noise was getting louder when it dawned on her... what if it was just Peaches? Opening the door slightly, she couldn’t see her.

‘Peaches…’ Lenni called out, absentmindedly moving further away from the door to look around. The deep rumbling growl that responded, was not Peaches at all.

Lenni quickly held her rifle up, aiming it at the vicious wolf who slowly stalked towards her. All white with wisps of grey, it was by far the biggest wolf she had ever seen. The red cross marked on its face was unmissable, with a thick line across its eyes and from the top of its head to down its snout. Its cold eyes were locked onto hers, as well as lips snarling to reveal sharp bloodstained fangs. The wolf leant back on its hind legs ready to attack.

‘Shhhh…’ Lenni heard, as whoever it was behind her pressed something against the back of her head.

‘Now, slowly hand it over.’ They said quietly

She shivered as she held her hands up in surrender. The night air was cold against her skin, as she stood there in only a long t-shirt and underwear. Her right hand cautiously held her rifle out to the side.

‘Told you I’d come and get ya.’ He leaned into her, so his husky whisper could be clearly heard

Lenni exhaled, still staring at the wolf who was now appearing less aggressive and waiting for Jacob’s next cue.

‘So now what,’ she asked as she glanced sideways at the front door – annoyed at her own stupid mistake.

‘Just a little something to make our trip back more tolerable...’ he said, as he reached around and quickly smothered a cloth over her face. 

Instantly her whole body turned limp, as Jacob picked her up and effortlessly threw her over his shoulder. As he began to trudge back in the direction of the Veteran’s Center, he let out a quick whistle. Straight away, the other seven Judges returned back from around the cabin to follow him home.

*****

Lenni felt her skin becoming hot and starting to sting, like she had sunburn. The taste in her mouth was stale and unpleasant. Rabid wolves were barking non-stop, on top of the sounds of people crying. Every damn sound cluttered her mind, and the loudness of it all pounded straight into her head. When she finally opened her eyes and tried to look around, everything was spinning slowly. Lenni squinted to combat the harsh volume of sounds while her sight gradually refocused. 

Bars, they were everywhere.

Disorientated at first glance, Lenni soon was able to move more freely and look around properly... to then realise that  she was trapped in a cage. Next to her cage and behind it, were dozens of _other_ cages too. Some had people in them, some were empty… one cage had a large puddle of blood on the ground in the middle of it and another one contained a pile of bones.

Lenni grabbed hold of the bars to help pull herself up, which took a lot more energy than it should have. How long she had been out for?

The sun directly beaming down made the metal hot to touch, and she had to keep her head down to avoid the constant glare. It was so fucking hot today.

Lenni didn’t even know how she got there, and her docility wouldn’t allow her to try and figure it out. Instead she closed her eyes, and without meaning to, fell back to sleep. By the time she opened her eyes again, the sky was dark but the night had delivered a cooler temperature. And at least now she was more alert. 

Jacob’s soldiers continuously roamed the grounds, and staunched through the numerous aisles of cages. Lenni could hear two of them taunting someone a few cages down, who had been begging for food.

‘Please,’ she sobbed. ‘I haven’t eaten three days…’

Their cruel laughter travelled far, making Lenni shuffle backwards in the cage. The longer she stayed under the radar, the better. She sat still with her knees tucked up and her t-shirt pulled over her legs, as an attempt to cover herself up as much as possible. Though as the days passed, Lenni stopped bothering. Nobody had spoken a single word to her. She hadn’t seen Jacob once, and all his men were blatantly ignoring her by not even looking at her cage.

All except one.

‘Hey.’ He whispered through the bars, after she didn’t respond at all to being sprayed by the hose. Apparently that was their _shower_.

‘Hey you, wake up.’ Lenni’s eyes fluttered open, as she tilted her head back against the bars to look at him.

‘Been watching you… you hungry?’ This got a reaction from her, she was absolutely fucking starving. Lenni glanced from side to side, before slowly nodding. He smiled and gestured her to come closer. She hesitated for a moment, trying to build enough momentum to move. In a half-crawl motion, her eyes were completely fixated on the plate he had now placed above the cage.

‘You be good and stay still, I’ll come in.’ Even in her lethargic state, something felt wrong about this. But her desperation for food pushed the feeling aside. He slowly opened her cage door and took a step inside.

‘There’s just a little something you gotta do for me first...’ He moved forward, cornering her as he unzipped his pants. Lenni tried to duck to the side, but he quickly grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back in front of him.

‘Keep still you little bitch.’ He hissed through gritted teeth as he leant forward. Using every ounce of strength she had, Lenni punched his semi-erected penis, causing him to keel over in pain.

‘Fuck’ he screeched between gasps, ‘you’re gonna die tonight.’

Trying his best to stand up quickly again, he had now grabbed onto her hair with his other hand too - and barged into her so she was squashed up against the bars. 

‘Get the fuck off me,’ Lenni cried out, as she reached up and  _dragged_ her fingernails down his face as hard as she could - desperately doing whatever she could to hurt him. He tried to move away from her hands, so she planted her foot into his groin. The pain winded him again, making him release his hand from her hair by ripping strands out from her scalp. 

As he fell, Lenni couldn’t move aside fast enough and was trapped underneath his body weight. With now way for her to get away, the cultist took one strong swing at her and connected his fist to her cheekbone. Then another one… and another, as Lenni laid there motionless and quickly losing all senses.

*****

It was a petrifying for her, not knowing where she was. Opening her eyes was impossible and even if she tried - her body wouldn’t move. It couldn’t. The pain was too much to handle. Breathing didn’t feel easy to do, her attempts to make any noise – _also_ hurt. Lenni felt a sudden pinch on the inside of her arm, which quickly eased away some of the discomfort. That petrified feeling disappeared again.

It was quite somber, watching her as she laid ever so still. The sight of her would have broken the hearts of many people. The Deputy, at the moment, was completely unrecognisable. The majority of her face was severely swollen and cut. Her eye sockets and eyelids were bulging, making it impossible for her to open her eyes or blink. The bruising on her skin were dark patches of black and purple. Her hair was matted from all the now dried blood, from when small strands of hair had been ripped from her scalp.

Her lips were slightly parted, allowing her to take shallow breaths. It had been a day since it happened, and the only types of noises she made were soft, pained sighs. They were the only indication that she must have been waking up and feeling sore. When the fluid was injected into her arm, she sighed again. But that time it sounded more like relief. 

She was lucky to still be alive, but whether she was going to make it or not... nobody knew for sure.


	15. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to Jacrispea for her help, guidance and wording with this chapter. I definitely struggled writing this one. I deleted it... rewrote it to then change it all again!

‘Long time no see.’ John practically waltzed into Jacob’s office with his usual smug smile. It quickly disappeared as he took in the sight of his older brother sitting at his desk. He looked even _more_ exhausted than he had just two hours prior, when they met for family dinner. Jacob’s voice had sounded slightly different when he called him on their private channel… it was enough to make John rush to Whitetail Mountains.

‘Fuck…’ John muttered under his breath, when Jacob took him in to the room where the Deputy laid unconscious. He glanced sideways at Jacob, who was looking down at her with a troubled frown.

‘We’re keeping this quiet.’ The Veteran said gruffly. ‘The last fuckin thing I need are people showin up just to check on her.’

John quickly nodded, knowing he was referring to Joseph and Faith. ‘I’ll give you Rosie for a few weeks.’

Rosie, a retired nurse, was a favourite of John’s and often relied on her for many things. Jacob raised his eyebrows, not expecting him to temporarily part with one of his most valuable followers. However, John still needed her to reach atonement - which was why this was actually problem for the both of them.

John smirked as he folded his arms. ‘At least with Rosie here, you won’t even need to bother checking on her. You can just go on about your day as if she’s not even here.’

Jacob stroked his beard, considering the thought as he continued staring at her bruised and battered body. Then he nodded once.

‘Even better.’

His work was keeping him busy and shit with the Whitetail Militia had been escalating of late. He simply didn’t have time for this. Or her, to be honest.

But most of all, he wanted to avoid Joseph’s indirect pressure at all costs. The last thing he needed was to hear more about The Voice and any more premonitions involving him and the Deputy.

*****

It had been over two weeks since the attack and Lenni had spent the majority of that time heavily sedated from bliss oil injections. Rosie had been working tirelessly around the clock each day, to make sure that she followed Jacob’s strict briefing.

She had to live.

He didn’t address what would happen if she didn’t, but Rosie had worked for John long enough to know that the Seeds didn’t fuck around. And Jacob Seed was a whole league of his own.

‘How did you sleep?’ Rosie asked as she walked across the room to pull the curtains back. The bright ray of sunlight made Lenni wince and slightly turn her head away. The nurse gently sat on the edge of the bed, writing her observation notes. This too, was part of the briefing. Although whenever she handed the notes to him in his office at the end of the day, he never said a word. Rosie honestly wasn’t sure if he was even reading them.

Suffice to say, it was a huge relief for her when the Deputy started making significant progress in her recovery. She was looking much better now and seemed far more alert. The swelling and bruising still caused her discomfort whenever she tried to talk or eat.

‘Better…’ she quietly mumbled, stifling a yawn. Mornings were always the worst, because of the bliss wearing off throughout the night.

Rosie gave her a little smile as she rested the clipboard on her lap, ‘I’ll fix you some breakfast and a little something for the pain.’

Lenni watched her leave the room. It was still baffling as to why Rosie was so nice to her considering she was a Peggie. But knowing that she was a retired nurse, Lenni figured that maybe her years of showing such compassion just naturally dominates over all of the cultist bullshit that gets drummed into them.

As she kept her eye on the door, Lenni started to wonder about all the things that were going on outside of the four walls around her. There were one hundred or more people who stayed at St Francis, yet she only ever saw Rosie. Did Staci know she was there? Jacob hadn’t been in once, not that that surprised her in the slightest. However he was more than likely counting the days until she was well enough to be shoved back into a cage.  
  
The thought instantly made her feel sick to the stomach. Lenni knew what had happened to her, she had asked Rosie outright because there were still still some details she couldn’t recall. 

‘ _So did he_ …?’ She remembered not being able to actually say the words. It was one of the first conversations she had had with her.

‘ _No, you were very lucky that Jacob showed up when he did_.’

Lenni was distracted by her thoughts, when Rosie returned with a bowl of something puréed. She internally rolled her eyes, wishing she could just eat something _normal_ instead of everything being mashed up like baby food.

‘Alright it’s time for you to start trying to get out of bed by yourself and walk around in short spurts.’ Rosie told her, setting her the goal of being able to get out of the bed and into the connecting bathroom. It was laughable really, considering the countless times she had climbed and dangled from towers… or grappled up vertical rock face and fly through the air in her wing suit.

If she ever came across the fucking Peggie who did this to her…

Lenni bit her bottom lip, trying to withstand the pain. It felt like every cell in her body could feel the pressure as she began to move entirely on her own. But  _god_ did it feel good to get out of bed and have some independence back.

As she stood in the middle of the room, leaning against the back of a chair, she gazed around the room for what felt like the first proper time. Lenni guessed that it was a spare bedroom. It was nicely furnished, spacious and very clean. The large timber bed, was centered between two matching bedside tables. There was a large bookcase, with a small table and chair nearby for reading... which was where she had stopped to take a breath.

‘Rosie…?’ she asked, after they had settled for a break.

‘Mmm?’ she answered, standing behind her with waiting arms in case she needed help.

‘I know you probably can’t say much, but Hudson…’ her voice trailed off.

Rosie remained quiet for a long time as she thought about what to say, without saying too much. John had appointed her to look after the former-deputy for a few days after she had confessed. She should have known that the Deputy would eventually ask about her.

‘Josephine is doing well. Sometimes she struggles a little from time to time…’ she began.  _Josephine?_ She hated being called by her real name. They both did.

‘It’s expected that we let go of our old lives and embrace the new, so we can prepare for the future. And has been a little tough for her. But, she is fine.’

Lenni eyes casted down at the floor, nodding slowly. So Joey really did make the decision on her own…

‘How are you feeling now?’ Rosie asked later that evening, as she updated the observation notes again. She peered at the Deputy over her glasses which sat at the tip of her nose.

Lenni shrugged, ‘sore just from moving around more today I guess.’ She watched as Rosie nodded, quickly scribbling more onto the pad of paper, before she stood back up again.

‘I’m going to lower your evening dosage. Which is a good thing, it means you’re getting better. I’m sure Jacob will be pleased.’

Lenni gave her the nurse a deadpan look. Really? Because she was pretty certain Jacob didn’t give a _shit_.

The downfall of having her dosages lowered was that she couldn’t fall asleep as easily. Hours of staring at the ceiling had passed, until Lenni decided to get back up again. Her legs wobbled as she hissed from the pain, while she gradually straightened herself up. Step by step, she carefully made her way over to the bookshelf. It took her a while but by the time she got there, she rested her hand on the shelf and sighed a triumphant sigh.

Her eyes scanned along the shelves, searching the spines of the books for something interesting to read. The genres weren’t the standard go-to books for a spot of light reading. There was some Greek mythology, Socrates, Plato, Darwin’s Theory of Evolution… then on the next shelf were others like Art of War, Battles that changed History, the Book of Joseph.

Lenni stopped there. If she could move her face, she would’ve raised an eyebrow at that one. She picked up the thick book and carried it back with her to the table. If anything was going to help her sleep, surely this would be it.

Oh boy was she wrong. 

Of all the literature Lenni had read, she doubted if she would _ever_ admit that the Book of Joseph was one which she just couldn’t put down. Page after page, she lost all sense of time and her surroundings because she was that hooked. Even when her eyes felt like they were hanging out of head from being so tired, she dragged her finger along the sentences in efforts to absorb every word.

‘You’re up.’ 

Startled, her head snapped up. It was possibly the quickest movement she had made in weeks. Jacob stood motionlessly, taking up most of the doorway as he stared at her with an unreadable expression. His eyes flickered down to the book, when she noticed him slightly frown for just a second.

‘Yeah, uh. I couldn’t sleep.’ She mumbled quietly.

He must have noticed the light glow from underneath the door. Lenni tried to get up, though a little too quickly and almost lost her balance. The only reason she didn’t, was because Jacob had somehow crossed the room in time and managed to stop her from falling.

‘S’alright, just take your time.’ He held his arm out hesitantly for her to hold on to.

‘Guess I’m more tired than I realised…’ Lenni steadied herself and slowly made her way back to the bed, knowing that he was watching her closely.

It was a bad idea. A fucking _stupid_ idea to go in there. He assumed that the light had been left on, and that he would just simply go in and switch it off as she slept. But she wasn’t asleep. Now he was torn between feeling obligated to help her and wanting to quickly get the fuck out of there.

‘Okay so,’ he said making his way back to the door. ‘You good?’

‘Yeah.’

He nodded once, before switching the light off and closing the door softly behind him. The latter option was definitely the best.

*****

Over the next few days, moving around began to feel easier and talking was becoming less painful. Even smiling wasn’t as difficult or sore. When Lenni wasn’t doing her exercises with Rosie, she would read. Though despite finishing the Book of Joseph days ago, Lenni never anticipated how much it would play on her mind. Even reading other books didn’t distract her from what had she learned.

She sighed, as she sat at the little table and stared down at her still bruised knuckles. When Lenni was assigned to the task force in arresting Joseph, she was in over her head. Their office was in the middle of Hope County and Avalon Valley, the neighbouring county. And Avalon Valley was the region Earl had stationed her in, with a few other colleagues. 

Therefore, she hadn’t had anything to do with the Seed family before this. Lenni remembered back to that evening when she was given their police reports to look at. She had only _minutes_ to read about them, and focus solely on the criminal acts they had committed. They weren’t seen as people, just villains on a piece of paper. And of course there was no mention of how they had been dealt with a bad hand, over and over, throughout their lives.

She thought of Jacob in particular. He had fought his entire life for his family, his country... and like so many veterans he ended up broken and hollow. A sense of empathy crept through her, realising that she would never look at him the same again. And that kind of scared her.

That evening Lenni sat by the window, staring out the front of St. Francis. She looked longingly out at the view of the mountains and thought about her friends. Lenni was sure that Sharky and Hurk, would be blowing shit up and setting fire to anything and everything they could. Then she wondered if Nick and Kim had had the baby yet. It had been too long since she had seen them.

As she stared ahead, resting her elbow on the window ledge, Jacob’s men had been performing their rounds and keeping lookout. There seemed to be a certain type of hierarchy under Jacob’s power. There were plain guardsmen who patrolled, soldiers who appeared to patrol and fight, then there was a group he seemed to deal with most directly – his hunters. The ones with the red balaclavas.

Lenni glanced down, noticing his hunters standing in a large group around Jacob. As intimidating as his hunters looked, they were nothing compared to the the Veteran. She watched as Jacob finished speaking to them before turning back around to face the building. Straight away, he glanced up to see her at the window as he walked back towards the entrance.

The brief eye contact made her heart skip a beat.

*****

’What’s wrong?’ Lenni asked, slowly and carefully chewing on her cereal. God it felt good to finally eat something that wasn’t puréed. She stared at Rosie as she walked into her room, not her usual smiling self.

‘Jacob said it’s time for me to return back to Holland Valley. Apparently John wants me back to help with some new followers.’

Lenni immediately felt deflated. Having Rosie around made everything seem fine and kind of normal. She actually felt like a friend…

‘He’s driving me back this afternoon, and I suggested that you could come along too.’ She informed her. ‘He didn’t seem too fond of the idea at first, but I gently reminded him that you’ve been stuck in this room for almost a month now and it would do you some good to have a change of scenery.’

‘It’s also a great excuse so you don’t have to be stuck alone with Jacob for a long car ride.’ Lenni huffed a gentle laugh.

Rosie cringed, giving it away that she didn’t want to speak negatively about any of the heralds of Eden’s Gate. It must be considered as blasphemy or something.

‘He’s a man of very few and... serious words.’

Lenni gave her the best smile she could. ‘I have to say this now, while he’s not around. But I’m gonna miss you Rosie.’

The nurse pouted her lips and opened her arms for a hug. ‘We are supposed to hate each other, but I just couldn’t do it. Please, look after yourself Deputy.’


	16. Personal Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only a short chapter this time, sorry about that - I haven’t been well. I hope you enjoy it, let me know :)

If Lenni didn’t understand why Rosie wanted her to come along for the drive, she sure as hell did now. It had been too long since she was last out in the big bad world, she had almost forgotten what it was like to feel the breeze against her skin. However the drive itself from the Veteran’s Center to John’s bunker in Jacob’s truck was… an experience.

Wedged between the two of them, nobody uttered a word. Every so often she would glance at Rosie, who stared out the window the whole time. She didn’t even try to look at Jacob… the way he was driving was a clear indicator that he had a million other things he’d rather be doing.

So that left Lenni, awkwardly sat and staring straight ahead at the road until her eyelids began to feel heavy. It was about an hour and a half drive to Holland Valley… and they were only fifteen minutes in. Sighing, she crossed her arms and rested her head against the back of the seat. The glare of the sunlight didn’t help either, making her tired eyes blink slowly to the point where she didn’t open them again. Sharky used to always tease her about being able to nap in the weirdest places. The thought made her smile a little, man she missed him.

By the time she opened her eyes again, she recognised the familiar scenery of the farms and business signs of Holland Valley passing them by. Lenni’s heart jumped and her eyes widened as she lifted her head up from Jacob’s shoulder. A blushing heat swept from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, as she silently prayed for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

She had been cuddling up to a Seed in her sleep.   
  
_Excellent_ Lenni, well done. 

Thankfully Rosie hadn’t budged and was still looking out the window, evidently not noticing a thing. But the nurse’s attention was distracted by Lenni clearing her throat.

‘What’s the matter? Headache?’ Rosie asked, looking at Lenni with concern as she sat there pinching the bridge of her nose. The nurse leant forward slightly, reaching into her bag to retrieve some bliss oil.

‘Nah, it’s nothing. I’m okay.’ She mumbled dismissively.  
  
Ever so slowly and making damn  _sure_ she didn’t move her head too much, Lenni looked at Jacob out the corner of her eye.

He was fucking smirking.

Scowling to herself, she made a conscious effort to sit as stiff as a board for the rest of the way, until Jacob pulled up out the front of John’s bunker.

Being back there reminded Lenni and Jacob of the night they saw each other when she came bolting after tying John up. But of course neither of them bothered to say anything. She was however, surprised to see the Baptist waiting to greet them.

‘Ah right on time, as always brother.’ He beamed at Jacob as they shook hands and pulled each other in for a subtle embrace.

‘My Rosie! Finally you’re back... we have all missed you so much.’ He gave her a warm smile, still with his arm placed on Jacob’s back in a slightly reassuring way.

‘Thank you John.’ Rosie smiled broadly at him, whether it was because she was happy to see her boss again or she was just that relieved to finally be out the car. Lastly John turned to Lenni, gazing at her with smiling eyes.

‘And Deputy! It’s good to see you looking more… alive.’

‘John. I’m flattered.’ She said drily, earning a chuckle from him as he turned to his brother. They gave each other a nod just before John began to walk Rosie in towards the bunkers entrance.

‘Dinner is on me.. whatever you want! I’m sure the food there is _nothing_ like what we have here...’ Lenni could hear John happily chatting away. She stood there watching them for a moment, half hoping that Rosie would turn around again so she could wave. She didn’t, but Lenni completely understood why.  
  
‘Time to go.’ Jacob announced before turning to walk away.

She paused, wondering why he hadn’t bothered to restrain her to make sure she didn’t try and make a run for it. But as he walked ahead of her and made his way to the drivers side of the truck, she willingly followed anyway.  
  
The drive back through Holland Valley, was still quiet, though she did notice Jacob wasn’t driving as fast. Lenni leaned against the window, elbow propped up with her head resting into the palm of her hand. Now that Rosie was gone, she couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen next. As the paddocks and open fields blurred past, her curiosity got the better of her. And even though she knew it was probably better to keep quiet for now, it didn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth.

‘Are you going to put me back in a cage?’

Jacob considered her question and thought about it for a long moment. As a man of intricate planning and action, he felt torn about what to do with her since the night saw walked into the room. Theoretically, he should send her back to the cage, knowing that nothing would happen while she’s locked up. But then again, he expected that last time and look what happened. Joseph has wondered about the Deputy’s silence of late, and thankfully John’s smooth talking played it down to a rumour that she had fallen ill. That story wasn’t going to stick for much longer.

‘Not at this stage,’ Jacob responded. He felt her watching him and without even thinking, he looked at her and held her gaze. It was a big mistake to watch those full lips purse into a little smile. He clenched his jaw and stared back at the road ahead.

‘Here’s the deal.’ Jacob began, forcing himself to think back on track. ‘You’ve still got trials to complete. So you can stay in that room, and have free roam within the building. You’re smart enough to not try to escape, but I’ll remind my men to keep watch just in case.’

Lenni’s faint smile disappeared at the reminder of trials, and their aftermaths… and Jacob’s men. He was right, she wasn’t going to escape. Whether it be that she was actually scared of something happening again, or the pull she felt to stay with him for some reason. Whatever it is, there was something keeping her there for now. She knew he was being lenient on her, in his own way, and that too made her curious.

*****

Given the less than ordinary conditions he had endured throughout his life, from childhood leading to sleeping in a homeless shelter and all the shit in between… Jacob wasn’t a stickler for fanciness. As he laid on the tiny cot bed, shoved into the corner of his office, he dragged his hands down his face in frustration. It was evenings like this, where he wished he had his bedroom back. He remembered how comfortable it was to be in a bed where he could stretch his legs, and still fit. He was annoyed at himself for ever allowing the Deputy to stay there.

He thought back to watching her climb into his bed that night, in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear.

‘Fuck no…’ he quietly hissed to himself, rubbing his temples, trying not to let himself think down that path.  
  
He had been doing a good job at avoiding it too. The second he had left the room, and how he immediately made his way to the basement to release his frustration on the punching bag that was hung from the ceiling. And he was there for hours. But Jacob’s mind then drifted to her first trial, how impressive she was… how _fast_. The combination of how determined she looked, her skill, her bare legs… and her little smile had Jacob palming himself over his boxer shorts. Fuck it was wrong, he _didn’t_ want her. He didn’t _need_ her.  
  
Or anyone.

He sat up, with his feet planted on the floor beside the bed. Putting his shirt, pants and jacket back on, he eyed the clock. Eleven thirty. Jacob made his way outside to do another round, because there was always work that needed to be done... and it was the perfect distraction.

*****

Lenni assumed that when Rosie gave her fresh clothes to wear, they were from the tall chest of drawers in the room. So that evening when she opened the drawers to find something to wear after her shower, there was genuine confusion over the dozens of grey, black, charcoal coloured shirts and other types of men’s clothes.  
  
Frowning, she suspiciously turned to the bookcase and stared at the war and history books… this wasn’t a spare room.

‘Oh god.’ She whispered, as she walked in to the connecting bathroom. She had been too sick of sore to bend down and look into the cupboards until now. Shaving cream, a razor, ointments, an old toothbrush… Lenni picked up a comb and looked at it closely to spot a dark red hair in it.  
  
She had been sleeping in Jacob’s room this whole entire time? Lenni didn’t know what to do first… go and see him about it, or look through his stuff. The latter made her feel a little guilty, she couldn’t do it. Especially when she noticed then, that he didn’t actually have _stuff_.  
  
The walls were blank, the bed linen was basic, there weren’t any photos… there was nothing personal in his personal space and that actually made her feel sad. She thought about her own bedroom back at home. Anyone walking in there would notice straight away the fairy lights, polaroid photos of friends, random drawings, framed photos, concert tickets, an embarrassing amount of makeup stashed wherever she found room…

He intrigued her _so_ much. But why?


	17. Goodnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a short’ish but powerful chapter, which I think needed to be written just by itself for a number of reasons. Possibly the gateway of many changes coming.
> 
> Song: ‘Groovy Kind of Love,’ Phil Collins

A loud bang against the wall behind her head, woke Lenni up from her dreamless sleep in a startled fright. With her chest rising and falling, she lay there frozen in fear as she stared ahead into the darkness of the room.

Another loud thud, just like the first, made Lenni practically jump out of her own skin and fumble out of bed. With her heart feeling like it had leapt into her throat, she slowly crept across the room - weaponless, barely dressed and too vulnerable for her liking. It had to have been the early hours of the morning... what the fuck was going on?

The sound of a muffled voice next door had caught her attention. Thoughts flooded her mind, as she cautiously stepped out into the empty hallway, and tiptoed to the door of the neighbouring room. Lenni cupped her ear against the door, and heard movement in the room and the sound of a struggle.

Lenni took a step back and stared at the door, hesitating about what to do. This was Seed territory... and she had no idea about  _who_ or _what_  could be in the room.

‘No stop, don’t hurt him.’ A familiar voice shouted from inside the room. That voice, sounded so scared and in trouble.

.... that voice _never_ sounded like that.

Not knowing what came over her, Lenni burst though the door as her eyes quickly scanned the large, dimly lit office. The walls were draped in various different kinds of Eden’s Gate paraphernalia, signalling to her that this was Jacob’s personal office. And in the corner of the room next to a small cot bed, there he was on the floor trembling in foetal position.

She rushed over quickly and crouched down beside him. The t-shirt and boxers he was wearing were absolutely saturated from sweat. His bed linen had all been ripped off and tossed across the room.

‘Leave him alone, he didn’t do anything wrong.’ He screamed, which made Lenni flinch. Jacob’s eyes were squinted shut and his face was contorted like he was in severe physical pain. She immediately remembered back to what she had read from the Book of Joseph, and the night terrors he had endured from hundreds of things that nobody should ever have to see.

Still shaking, Jacob had twisted himself around and was facing the window more. The moonlight which was streaming through the sheer curtains, revealed to Lenni, the tears pouring down his face.

‘Jacob…’ Lenni whispered, she reached out but stopped, hesitant on whether to touch him or not. The last thing she wanted to do was make things worse for him. But she had to help him, she wanted to. Enemy or not… whatever he was.

Lenni softly repeated his name over and over, while he continued to thrash around on the floor trying to physically fight against whatever it was he was dreaming about.

‘Jacob, it’s okay. You’re at St. Francis…’

The Veteran briefly quietened down again, though his jaw was clenched and she could see the muscles in his neck rippling. Lenni reached out and placed her hand gently on his shoulder.  
  
‘John and Joseph are safe. Your brothers are okay.’ She told him softly, before letting out a yelp as Jacob quickly gripped on to her wrist. She knew damn well, by the strength in his grip that he could snap her wrist clean in half if she wasn’t careful.

‘I’m not here to hurt you...’

It was hard to know whether he could hear what was she saying, but he did finally let go of her arm, as he continued twisting his body around and grunting.

‘Get away from them… leav’em alone.’ He shouted, his voice now sounding hoarse. Broken.

Lenni feeling helpless, looked around the room at a loss with what to do. There was no way she could just leave him like this. It was heartbreaking to watch someone so tormented. Spotting a couple of records sitting on a shelf behind his desk, gave her the inspiration for a really dumb idea. She started to softly sing the first song that popped into her head.

‘When I’m feeling blue

all I have to do…

is take a look at you,

then I’m not so blue.’

Of all the songs in the world, Lenni questioned herself on why she had chose to sing one of _the most_ romantic ones she knew... As she hummed the melody, he had subconsciously gravitated towards the distraction of her voice - and eventually had wrapped around her waist to seek comfort.

Part of her wondered if he would remember any of this. He’d probably kill her solely just for the song choice. She hummed to him a little more, now rubbing her hand up and down his back. 

‘It’s okay.’ Lenni whispered, after she had finished and they were both sitting in silence. She couldn’t help but look down at him and run her fingers through his hair.

‘Okay you,’ she said as she gave him a few gentle pats on the back. Snapping herself out of the very one-sided moment. ‘We gotta get you back into bed.’

Still looking somewhat dazed and extremely exhausted, Jacob understood and cooperated. As the two stood up, Lenni stumbled as she tried to support him as they walked back towards the bed. He stood idly, as she fixed his bed back up before he laid back down.

Lenni knew she was being too soft, this was Jacob Seed after all. But the way he was staring at her, so scared and almost childlike with those blue eyes… it stirred something inside of her that she couldn’t explain.

She pulled his blanket over him and tucked it in at the sides, smiling down at him.

‘Just so you don’t get cold…’ she whispered softly. ‘Goodnight Jacob.’ 

She turned and made her way to the door, not at all expecting a response from him. But just before the door closed shut behind her, she heard him just time. 

‘Good night,’ he had replied in a small voice,   
  
Lenni didn’t sleep that night, her mind bombarded with thoughts and feelings that truly worried her. Was going into that room was the right thing to do... or possibly the very worst?


	18. The Basement

‘Reynolds, bring the Deputy into my office.’ Jacob abruptly ordered over his radio.

‘Yes sir,’ his second in command instantly responded.

Jacob had gone above and beyond for days, to avoid seeing the Deputy since their previous… encounter. He _hated_ that she had witnessed him in such a weak and vulnerable state. Nobody ever saw that side of him, aside from his family of course.

Within minutes, Jacob’s soldiers led Lenni into the room and immediately left. The Veteran made a point of taking his time to finish signing off the paperwork he had been working on, before looking up to acknowledge her presence. And when he did, his wall was already up as high as ever.

‘You have a half hour until your next trial.’ He told her flatly, ‘better get yourself ready for it _rookie_.’

The stone-faced expression on Lenni’s face, gave it away that she was pissed. With him personally, and having to do his fucked-up trials.

‘Sooner it’s done that the sooner I can get outta here.’  
  
Jacob clenched his jaw, trying to withhold an obvious scowl at her backchat. Of course he wanted to bite back, but refused to budge. It bothered him that she wanted to leave. And he fucking hated that too. Continuing with his work, he eventually glanced back up her again as she stood standing there.

‘You may go now.’ He said dismissively, his tone dripping with sarcastic pleasantries.  
  
Lenni chewed the inside of her cheek, as she left his office to walk back into the bedroom. She hadn’t expected anything from Jacob. That wasn’t why she tried to help him… but coldness in return? It stung. Fuck Jacob, fuck this whole cult. She had to get the hell out of St. Francis.

Three hard knocks on the door, made it shake as she finished tying the bottom of her second braid.

‘Yeah alright,’ she snapped loudly as she walked over to open it up.

Jacob stood there waiting, his expression was unreadable. As usual. He jutted his chin in the direction of where they needed to go, clutching the music box in his palm. He hadn’t trialed anyone like this before, and with it being her… well it only made it all the more interesting.

Silently Lenni followed him down three flights of stairs. She looked around as they quickly walked along, taking in the derelict interior. She had no idea where she was, even though Jacob told her she had ‘free roam’. Just because she could walk around freely, didn’t necessarily mean that she was welcome to. Alarm bells rang in her head, as they entered what looked to be the basement of the building. It was heavily guarded by some of his best soldiers, who’s eyes watched them walk past through the holes in their red balaclavas.

‘Stay on guard, and listen for the call.’ Jacob ordered.

‘Yes sir.’ They all responded in unison.

He turned to her before he opened the door. ‘It’s not gonna be like last time… but I still expect you to impress me.’

Lenni watched him unlock the heavy door with an incredulous look. Who the fuck did he think he was? _Impress_ him? He _expected_ her… to _impress_ him? She grit her teeth as she waited for the door to open.

Jacob Seed was quickly turning into the number one most infuriating man she had ever met. Sorry John.

Jacob switched the lights on, revealing a large, run down room that reeked of stagnant water and urine. The walls were exposed brick with concrete floors, and in the middle of the entire space was a man’s body hung from the ceiling like a piñata.

Their torso was heavily bruised and battered, and the head was covered by a loose hessian bag.

‘Who’s there.’ A skittish voice asked from underneath the cloth.

Jacob had a cruel smirk on his face as he strode over towards the hanging body.  
  
‘J-J..Jacob.’ He stuttered, knowing the silence all too well. ‘Please.’

‘Oh don’t beg me, I’ve brought a visitor this time. Say hello to her.’ Lenni watched as Jacob yanked the loose hessian bag off from the man’s head. It was the piece of shit guard who had attacked her.  
  
In one quick movement, Jacob had removed his hunting knife from his thigh holster and cut the rope the man was hanging from in one quick swipe of the blade. His body hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

‘What the fuck? Why is that little prick tease still around.’  
  
‘Still haven’t learn ya lesson yet Briggs?’ Jacob huffed a laugh. ‘And I thought that me comin down here to use you as my personal punching bag every day might’ve taught you some manners.’  
  
The ferocity he saw in her eyes, as she stared the former guard down had Jacob doubting if he even needed to twist the music box. She was wrathful, and well within her rights. But the Veteran wasn’t finished yet.  
  
‘I’m just gonna be honest with ya.’ Jacob said as he roughly cut the cable ties from around his wrists and ankles. ‘You went against my word… and because of that you won’t be getting out of here alive. You’re weak, and this is your purpose.’  
  
Briggs stared at Jacob, his face contorting as he started to cry. ‘I’ll do anything… p-please… I know I shouldn’t have spoken to her. Nobody was allowed near her, I-I’m s-sorry.’

‘Tell it to the lady,’ a smile spread across Jacob’s face as he began to wind the key.

‘Cull the herd.’

_**Only you** _

Jacob watched on as the Deputy screeched ferociously as she pummeled the life out of him for the next few minutes. He stood completely out of her view, observing the way she handled herself weaponless even after weeks of inactivity.  
  
_**Can make, this world seem right**_

A proud smile graced Jacob’s lips, as he watched her fight.

‘Good.’  
  
She overpowered him with ease, as her primal instincts kicked in. Everything from that evening in the cage, she suddenly remembered.  
  
All the ways he had hurt her.  
  
_**Only you**_

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, she scalped him with her bare hands which caused him to let out a gut-wrenching… agonising scream. Punch after punch with each one full of extraordinary force, caused blood, sweat, saliva to splatter on the walls and floor from the impact.  
  
‘Keep going.’  
  
_**Can make the darkness bright**_

As he collapsed to his knees, head tilted back almost unconscious, she completely finished him off by holding her hands to both side of his face and twisting his head as far as it would go.  
  
It was like watching a real life goddess of war, fight before his very eyes. Absolutely terrifying, and yet the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  
  
Her.  
  
His soldier.

 

*****

Lenni slowly tried to open her eyes when she felt the cool breeze against her skin. Letting out a groan, her muscles felt sore and fatigued.  
  
‘Fuck,’ she hissed to herself when she realised she was back stuck in a cage.  
  
Rubbing her eyes, she could feel her hands throbbing which reminded her of what had happened in her trial. Lenni kicked the metal bars, so fucking pissed off. At herself… the world… Jacob.  
  
‘Rook,’ she heard a familiar whisper.  
  
‘Pratt, oh my god. Oh Staci…’ Lenni gasped, when she saw him rushing towards her.  
  
She felt her chest tighten as she stood up as quickly as she could. Where his hands cuffed around the metal bars, she placed hers over them.

‘You shouldn’t have come for me,’ he told her, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles.  
  
Staci looked in real bad shape. He was a gorgeous looking guy, who had the whole muso look about him. His long brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, with facial stubble... Lenni could totally understand why Joey was besotted with him. But now he looked so unwell, and she couldn’t ignore the emptiness in his eyes.

Lenni’s bottom lip started to quiver, ‘Staci we need to get out of here.’  
  
He shook his head vehemently, ‘no _you_ have to get outta here. You don’t know what he’s like man, he gets in your fucking mind. In… right in there.’  
  
As he pointed his index finger against his temple, his hand trembled.  
  
Trying to change her approach, Lenni gave him a sad but loving smile. ‘Staci, you have to come with me. We’ll find Joey… she needs you.’  
  
Hey if she had to play the Joey card, then she would.

He lowered his head at the mention of her, just hearing someone say her name hurt him deeply.  
  
‘Joey,’ he whispered sadly to himself before lifting his head up to look back at Lenni. ‘I heard what happened.’  
  
He _knew_? Staci already knowing that she had joined Eden’s Gate, only made her even more compelled to ask…

‘So are you with ‘em too? Have you turned Peggie?’ Lenni stared at him, right in the eyes.  
  
Staci swallowed hard and slowly blinked, ‘… I’m just trying to survive Rook.’  
  
His response was like a dagger to the heart. Lenni took a step back, as a single tear fell down her cheek. She had failed him too. He looked around nervously and then down at his watch.

‘Fuck it I’m getting you outta here.’ Pulling a set of keys out of his pocket, he quickly unlocked the door of her cage and yanked her out by the arm.

‘Hurry,’ he hissed, as he grabbed hold of her hand and started running towards the main building. ‘I know the rounds, for the next forty seconds nobody is gonna come through here.’  
  
Pulling her up the stairs, Lenni started to feel genuinely scared. They were getting closer to where she had stayed… and Jacob’s office. He lead her out onto the balcony of the second floor, overlooking the front of the Veterans Centre. Just underneath them was a large cultist truck, that was parked with the motor running. Directly above them was the balcony to Jacob’s office.  
  
Staci peered down, then looked over at Lenni, ‘it should just be about to leave-’ he started to say.  
  
‘She’s gone!’ They both heard someone relatively close-by shout.

‘Sir! Someone’s unlocked the Deputy’s cage!’  
  
‘Well fuckin find her.’ They heard Jacob’s angry voice boom, before his office door slammed closed - causing the walls to shake.  
  
A deafening alarm whirled through their eardrums, as Staci frantically turned to face Lenni. The terror in his eyes was unmissable.

‘You gotta go.’ He shouted over the noise. ‘Don’t come back for me. Get the hell out of here and take Joey with you.’  
  
Guards were suddenly everywhere, running across the courtyards in all directions.  
  
‘Please come with me Staci… please.’  
  
‘Tell her I love her.’ Staci said, ignoring her pleads as he quickly shoved her forward before it was too late.  
  
It was a blessing in disguise that the alarms were so obscenely loud, that they covered the loud noise of Lenni’s body smashing against the body of the truck. Wincing at the bump she would no doubt have on her head, she kept still as the truck drove out of the gates and out onto the long road.  
  
She heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
_Finally_.


	19. The perfect criteria

Everyone at St. Francis had been on edge for the past few days. Jacob’s men had been working harder than ever, doing everything they could to please their herald… But no matter what, Jacob always found something to harshly critique.

Nobody had seen or heard from Staci Pratt since the Deputy escaped. They had all presumed the worst, and it was just another reminder of how dispensable they all actually were. Jacob wasn’t exactly an easy person to be around. To his followers, he had a superior presence… stoic but deadly. Always unreadable and intimidating.

And now on top of all that, he had become an absolute tyrant.

As the Veteran stormed down the stairs to the basement carrying a dish of meat and a plastic cup of water, he reminded himself repeatedly as to why he shouldn’t just kill Pratt.  
  
Jacob had been internally struggling... more than usual. Keeping busy just seemed like the best thing to do. So now he was sleeping _less_ and exercising _more_... finding things to do and never letting himself stop.  
  
Anything just to avoid being trapped in his own head.

Opening the doors, he glowered at the sight of his prisoner. Pratt was cuffed by his wrists and feet to thick metal chains that were attached to the brick wall. He sat in a slump, looking up slowly as the doors opened.  
  
The metal dish made a deafening clanging sound, as Jacob tossed it across the cold concrete floor. Raw, bloody meat spilled out everywhere and Staci reached out to quickly scoop it all up. Jacob stood back quietly with his arms crossed, watching the weak traitor with disgust.  
  
‘Look at you.’ He snarled, ‘pathetic.’

Pratt’s eyes flickered between Jacob and the food as he kept eating. He looked like a starved animal, grunting and hunched over his food protectively.  
  
‘H-how long are you gonna keep me down here?’  
  
Jacob clenched his jaw, ‘I haven’t decided yet. Could be for just a little while… could be for the rest of your life.’

‘Then please... just kill me,’ Staci practically whispered. ‘I know I did wrong by you. Just.. just get it over with.’  
  
Jacob chuckled coldly and shook his head. ‘Of course you’d want the easy way out. To just die without suffering consequence… or purpose. But believe it or not, you’re more useful when you’re breathing.’  
  
Turning on his heel, the soldier strode across the room back to the door as Staci watched on.  
  
‘Because you’re hoping she’ll come back?’ He called out, making Jacob stop in his tracks. ‘I’ve seen the way you look at her, you don’t have a fuckin chance. She wouldn’t want a fucked up monster like you.’  
  
Seeing red, he ever so slowly turned around and stared back at Staci.

‘Isn’t that a shame…’ he smirked, ‘well maybe I’ll go and pay whatsername a little visit then. _Joey_? I could give her a little sample of everything you couldn’t deliver.’  
  
His smirk disappeared as soon as he closed the door behind him, leaving Pratt in a hysterical fit of rage. He stormed back up the stairs as his radio buzzed statically before hearing his brother’s voice come through.  
  
‘Jacob.’

Unclipping his radio and holding it towards his mouth, Jacob furrowed a brow.

‘Joseph, everything okay?’

‘All fine here brother, however I would like to touch base with you. The sooner the better of course.’

Jacob exhaled, this was the last thing he needed. ‘I’ll finish up with rounds here and I’ll be over.’

‘Excellent, I look forward to seeing you.’ Joseph responded before the connection stilled.

*****

Entering quietly through the church doors, Jacob was met with the usual sight of Joseph kneeling before the platform, clutching his rosary. He stood at ease with his hands behind his back, as he waited for his brother to stand and turn around. When he finally did, Jacob noticed for a brief moment that Joseph looked troubled.

‘Our protector,’ The Father mused affectionately as walked towards Jacob with open arms. Placing them firmly on the Veteran’s shoulders, they both leant forward to rest their foreheads together.  
  
‘It’s good to see you.’ Jacob said as they pulled away. Joseph gave him a small, warm smile as he gazed into his eyes, trying to read him. But with Jacob that was never easy. He could see that his older brother looked completely exhausted, but there was something else. Anger… which was very unlike him.  
  
‘Please,’ he said as he gestured towards the front pew. ‘Have you been keeping well?’  
  
‘Ah yeah, I s’pose.’ Jacob shrugged as he sat back on the church pew with his arms folded. His eyes drifted upwards, to the large American flag draped across the wall. Joseph nodded, it was a question Jacob never quite knew how to answer.  
  
‘I’m afraid I owe you my heartfelt apology Jacob…’ Joseph sighed, causing Jacob to frown in confusion. ‘I don’t get the chance to just sit with you and talk as much as I would like. Faith and John need more, shall I say... guidance and attention. But giving them that, means you’re often left on your own.’

Jacob looked at Joseph, ‘I know what I’m doing. And I don’t need anyone spoon feeding me, so ya don’t have to apologise for anything.’  
  
Joseph masked his amused smile. It felt like he was sitting next to a defiant, thirteen year old Jacob again. The rare moments when the old Jacob came through, always warmed his heart no matter what.

‘I know,’ Joseph agreed. ‘Though it doesn’t stop me from wanting to check in with you.’ _And make sure you’re alright_ … he wanted to say, but chose not to. They sat together in momentary silence, before Jacob surprisingly spoke first.

‘You’re probably already aware that she has escaped from St Francis.’  
  
Joseph remained quiet. Was this an admission of what he thought was defeat? Or an attempt to vent?  
  
‘You seem angry about it.’ He replied simply.

Jacob chewed on the inside of his cheek, annoyed for letting it seem to obvious. ‘Pratt let her go. So any progress made may be erased… depending on how long she’s back with the Resistance.’  
  
Joseph tilted his head from side to side thoughtfully. ‘She will return. It’s all in gods plan…’

Crossing his arms, Jacob looked back at the flag. His thoughts consumed by annoyance, anger and frustration. He wasn’t in the mood for religious talk, or any talk at all. The Veteran remembered how he used to feel when he gazed upon his country’s flag. Now after all these years, the flag was full of memories. Some good, mostly horrific.

‘Pardon my forwardness, but may I ask… was there a connection building?’

Jacob’s eyes darted back to Joseph’s briefly. ‘What are you wanting to know?’  
  
‘Are you beginning to care for her?’ he rephrased.  
  
He didn’t really have to think about the answer. There was potential in her that had quickly caught Jacob’s attention, even at the church that night. Since then he learned that the Deputy was a good fighter. Resilient and strong, and like John had had once described… _slippery_. Her uncanny way of getting out of situations were at times, clever. She wasn’t some shit-talking authoritarian of the law like the others were. This Deputy was quietly confident, yet humble.  
  
Her caring attitude, even towards someone like him was... unexpected. And she was actually kind of funny too, the way she got under John’s skin was actually entertaining. Her reaction when she realised she had fallen asleep on his shoulder was comedic.  
  
On top of all that, she was beautiful. _That_ was unmissable. The woman could stop traffic, she was that damn attractive.

 _‘I’ve seen the way you look at her, you don’t have a fuckin chance. She wouldn’t want a fucked up monster like you_.’ Pratt’s words replayed through his mind.

‘Only as a future soldier for Eden’s Gate.’ Jacob replied flatly.  
  
Joseph nodded, his troubled expression returning as his mind drifted to his own grievances. It had been a couple of weeks since he had received any messages or premonitions from The Voice, and couldn’t help but feel perturbed. How could he lead his flock into the new world without his connections of a higher power?

‘Jacob… I haven’t mentioned anything to the others yet, so I would appreciate this to remain only between us...’ The eldest brother listened intently to Joseph speak about The Voice and its absence, and how it has affected his planning for The Project and preparation for The Collapse.

‘… the Resistance is closer to gaining the upper hand, due to the recent liberation of Hope County Jail.’ Joseph continued, ‘and as foreign as this idea may seem for us… I am leaning towards the idea of a temporary ceasefire in Hope County. You being our head of security, I’m eager to hear your thoughts.’

*****

‘My god. Kim! Look who it is!’ Nick called out over his shoulder when he opened the front door. ‘Rook, we didn’t know what happened to you…’

He pulled Lenni in for a tight hug, breathing a sigh of relief as Kim slowly made her way down the stairs.  
  
‘Holy shit…’ Lenni’s eyes practically popped out of her head when she looked up at her over Nick’s shoulder.

‘Where’ve you been woman!’ Kim exclaimed as she gave Lenni a tired hug. ‘Come in, come in.’  
  
It had been too long since the last time she had visited the Rye’s. Kim looked ready to burst, and Nick was obviously on edge. She snorted as they watched her husband rush into the kitchen to get a drink for everyone.

‘He’s a fucking nervous wreck. Baby girl is due any second now and as you know, he had wanted us to be outta here long before she arrived.’  
  
Lenni gave her a sympathetic smile and rested her hand on Kim’s. John hadn’t made things easy for them in the past, and recently he had stop by for another social call.  
  
‘Did he hurt you?’ Lenni asked, alarmed.

‘No, no.. but social call my arse,’ Nick sneered as he returned back with a couple of beers. ‘He’s just throwing his weight around a little because of what happened in the Henbane.’  
  
Lenni froze, her eyes glancing back and forth between Kim and Nick. ‘… what’s happened?’  
  
Kim stared at her in disbelief. ‘Fuck, you don’t know? Nick, Sharky, Grace and Jess Black liberated Hope County Jail a few days ago. Earl Whitehorse and the Marshall are out.’  
  
Finally, some good news at last!  
  
‘I need to head over there and see Earl… fuck I have to see everyone!’  
  
‘Not tonight you don’t,’ Kim said sternly. ‘You’re gonna stay here, eat a proper dinner and relax like a normal person for once. Plus now I get some long awaited girl talk.’  
  
Lenni grinned, and started to chuckle when Nick dramatically rolled his eyes.  
  
Kim’s spaghetti smelt amazing as it sat cooking in a huge pot on the stove. It made Lenni question, when was the last time she had eaten a proper home cooked meal? Too long, because she couldn’t even remember.  
  
Nick and Kim sat completely still holding their cutlery, bewildered expressions etched their faces as they watched Lenni quickly twirl excessive amounts of spaghetti onto her fork and shovel it all in her mouth... over and over. It looked like she was in an eating competition.  
  
‘Fuck Rook, when did you eat last?’ Nick asked incredulously.  
  
‘Cereal I think. At Jacob’s.’ Though it didn’t sound anything like that, not with her mouth crammed full of food.

‘Nick,’ Kim hissed as she tilted her head back towards the kitchen stove. After looking between her and the kitchen blankly, he eventually figured it out and brought the pot over to refill Lenni’s plate.

‘I don’t get it though… I’ve never heard of anyone escaping from St. Francis before.’ Kim thought aloud as she rubbed her stomach absentmindedly. She was laying on the bed, while Lenni looked through all the clothes that Kim decided she no longer wanted anymore.  
  
‘Well I wouldn’t have it weren’t for Staci… hey you sure you don’t want this one?’ Lenni held up a red strapless bodycon dress.  
  
Kim scoffed, ‘no way… look it still has the tag on it. You’d rock that better than I would. But he let you stay in the centre? That’s kinda weird isn’t it?’  
  
Lenni shrugged as she picked up a singlet top with ‘trouble maker’ printed across the front.  
  
‘Well not really I guess, because one of his men…’ she continued explaining the story to Kim, who listened and looked at her wide-eyed the entire time. As the words left her mouth, it dawned on her as to why Kim was looking at her the way she was.

‘He had been beating the guy up each day until you were fully recovered? It sounds like- OH.’ She suddenly clutched at her stomach, her face crumpled from pain.

‘Oh fuck, NICK!’ Lenni yelled down the stairs. ‘Shit Kim what do I do?’  
  
Nicks footsteps thundered up the staircase and into the room. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay… we’ve been practicing.’  
  
They managed to get Kim to the car, when she suddenly stopped and spoke in between panting breaths.  
  
‘Hun… I don’t know…. if we are gonna make it there… it feels like she’s kinda… in a hurry.’

‘Leave the driving to me, I’ll get you there. Nick get in the back with her.’ Lenni said as they helped her get in the car.  
  
As they practically flew down the long dirt driveway, the Deputy glanced into the rearview mirror. ‘Uh, guys? Where am I supposed to be going?’  
  
‘Hope County Clinic,’ Nick replied, not taking his eyes off his wife. ‘It’s near the station.’  
  
Lenni nodded as she planted her foot on the accelerator. Expertly drifting around corners and tearing down through the roads of Holland Valley, she wasn’t at all surprised to see a roadblock up ahead.

‘Fuck, hang on,’ she yelled as she watched the cultists try shooting at the car before leaping out of the way. The car demolished the road block as it launched over the speed bump they had set down. Landing hard, and using all her strength to keep the car on the road, they continued speeding through. Kim’s panting and screeching in the backseat, along with Nick nervously rambling on about ‘eight centimeters dilated’ had Lenni almost beside herself.  
  
‘What’s the hurry blondie? Have you got somewhere to be?’ John’s voice was heard from Nick’s radio.

‘Oh fuck off.’ She muttered to herself through gritted teeth, concentrating even harder on her driving.  
  
Expecting to see more Peggies on the road now that John was aware of her movements, Lenni was pleasantly surprised when they reached the clinic without any more obstacles. Kim and Nick were still timing contractions as she blasted the horn. Kim’s midwife and some nurses hurried out and helped her inside and in to a small room. Lenni slowly followed them in, not sure if she was supposed to be hanging around or not. She awkwardly looked around the foyer of the clinic and eventually sat down to wait.  
  
A little while had passed, and Lenni was slouched into the chair with one leg hooked over the arm rest. Her mind had drifted back to her and Kim’s conversation about Lenni’s attacker. Kim had raised a point which she hadn’t _realised_. Had Jacob punished him because he went against his orders? Or was it because of what he did and tried to do? Lenni wanted to hate how her heart fluttered when she thought of the latter.  
  
Resting her head against the wall with her arms crossed, she sighed to herself. But her thoughts were interrupted by an emotional Nick sauntering out of the room. Lenni quickly stood up looking worried.

‘Nick. Is everything okay?’  
  
He couldn’t speak. His chin wobbled as he gestured for her to follow him back into the room. There, Lenni was met with the sight of a doting mother nursing her baby wrapped in a light pink blanket with a head full of dark hair.  
  
‘She’s beautiful…’ Lenni cooed softly as she leaned forward to look at her. Kim looked up and gave her a teary smile, as Nick walked around the other side of the bed. He had the proud father stance already perfected.

‘Deputy, say hello to your goddaughter… Carmina.’

‘Goddaughter?’ Lenni whispered, looking stunned. ‘You want me to be her godmother?’  
  
The couple gently laughed. ‘You’re our friend, a hero, a cool chick and a total badass... the perfect criteria to be godmother for our baby girl.’ 


	20. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many mixed moments in this huge chapter, but I hope you’re enjoying the story! 
> 
> Thank you to Jacrispea for your help and patience! xx

The Rye’s were such great people. Watching the three of them bond as a little family was truly magical. And at a time like this, the world needed a little magic.  
  
Kim was to be staying at the clinic for a couple of days, and the people at the clinic had kindly allowed Nick to stay too. It wasn’t usually allowed, but with John sniffing around recently nobody was willing to take any risks.  
  
‘Hey I don’t mind shackin up in an old uncomfortable chair, as long I get to be with my girls and keep em safe,’ Nick told the staff, grateful for their kind hospitality.  
  
Lenni returned back to the Rye residence, in an ATV that was parked nearby. The plan was to shower, sleep and make her way over to the Henbane first thing in the morning to see Earl.  
  
The house felt eerily quiet as she made her way up the stairs and into the bathroom. Leaning over the vanity sink, she took a long look at herself in the mirror under the horrible fluorescent lighting. Her hair, skin… she looked dull. Faking a smile, she noticed that it didn’t reach her eyes.  
  
Lenni sighed sadly, and looked down at the sink. Never did she think that her life would be like this at thirty-seven years old. She thought about Zara and what she would be thinking right now.  
  
‘Yup... poor, single and pathetic. I know Zara.’ Lenni said aloud sarcastically, agreeing to what she knew her estranged friend would say.  
  
It was safe to say that having Carmina as her brand new goddaughter, stirred up some feelings that Lenni forgot she had. Sure the Rye’s were family now, but she wanted more. She wanted what Nick and Kim had, her own little bubble with someone who loved her just as much as she loved them.  
  
Standing in the shower, she was too consumed by her own thoughts to enjoy the hot water splashing against her tired body. As she lathered up the shampoo to wash the grime out of her hair, Lenni considered that maybe she finished things with Sharky too soon. Her pyromaniac best friend was a wholesome, caring guy. Handsome, funny, and sure, a little rough around the edges but… a life with him would’ve been pretty nice. And his romantic feelings for her were clear.  
  
She should’ve tried harder.  
  
Rubbing the white fluffy towel over her head to dry her hair, she almost missed the sound of a radio going off somewhere in the house. Following the static noises and clicks, she was lead into the baby’s room.

‘Deputy.’

Lenni stared at the black radio, sitting on top of the drawers.  
  
‘Deputy I know you can hear me, I would appreciate it if you would kindly respond.’  
  
He knew she could hear him? In a towel tightly wrapped around her body, not leaving a whole lot left to the imagination, she suddenly felt vulnerable and self-conscious. Lenni glanced around as she slowly sat down in on the floor in the middle of the nursery floor.  
  
‘Joseph. I’m surprised to hear from you.’

It had been ages since they had spoken last. So why would he be contacting her directly? This couldn’t be good.  
  
‘There is something which needs addressing, urgently. I would like you to meet with us at our family ranch tomorrow morning. If the timing suits, of course.’  
  
Oh of _course_. Lenni wasn’t stupid. The Father’s pleasantries were only just that, pleasantries. It wasn’t like he was about to whip out his daily planner and negotiate another time.  
  
‘Us… as in, your family?’ Lenni tried not to scoff. ‘That’s a little heavy sided, don’t you think?’

‘I can assure you Deputy, this is by no means a trap. There is something that needs to be discussed amongst all of us. Treat it as a meeting, if you will.’  
  
Would they be brazen enough to just invite her over to then… kidnap her? She knew Joseph didn’t want her dead, that had been made clear all along. Only because he wanted her to join his cult though. Or could it be another ploy to make her confess? She had avoided Holland Valley since the night she ran from the bunker and saw Jacob.  
  
… Jacob. He’d be there too.  
  
‘We shall look forward to seeing you tomorrow.’ Joseph’s words travelled from the speaker of the radio, interrupting her jumbled thoughts.

 

 

 

*****

Minutes had passed, and as each one passed she began to feel more alone.  
  
‘Sharks, you there?’ Lenni held the radio in her hand, waiting for him to respond as she sat on the edge of the bed. He didn’t keep her waiting for long, bless his heart.  
  
‘Shorty!’ He exclaimed. ‘Man have I missed your voice.. well shit, I’ve missed the rest of you too of course. Uhh, where you at?’  
  
She smiled at the way he fumbled with his words. ‘I’m at the Rye’s... kinda-sorta house sitting tonight. Kim had the baby!’  
  
‘She DID?!’ Sharky’s voice boomed through the speakers, making her flinch. The background noise on his end was suddenly noisy, and people began cheering. Then she pieced it together that he must still be at the jail celebrating the liberation.  
  
‘Hey so, I just wanted to touch base with you. I’ll head over to the jail tomorrow and see you guys.’  
  
There was a long pause before he responded, and when he finally did, there was no background noise at all.  
  
‘Can’t you come over now chica? I don’t wanna wait til tomorrow.’ His voice was so clear, and… deep. He must have moved away from everyone to talk to her properly.  
  
Lenni sighed and rubbed her face roughly her hand. Why couldn’t things be easy and straightforward? What if tomorrow was a trap, and it all ended badly?  
  
‘I can’t.. I’m sorry, I have to go and do something in the morning.’  
  
No reply.  
  
A loud knock at the front door, woke Lenni up in a panic. With squinted eyes, she stared at the clock on the wall until it finally focused and revealed that it was two o’clock in the morning.  
  
Reaching for one of Nick’s rifles, Lenni marched angrily downstairs towards the door as she loaded it up. Flinging the door open and aiming the gun straight ahead, in one very quick movement.  
  
‘Holy fuckin shit! Dep, it’s me!’ Sharky balked at the rifle pointed directly at his nose.

Immediately lowering the gun, Lenni let out a relieved sigh as she stepped aside so he could come in.

‘You had me on guard Boshaw. Previous experiences of late night visitors haven’t ended well,’ she laughed.

‘I uh,’ Sharky took his hat off quickly and rubbed the back of his neck as he followed her inside. ‘Sorry I didn’t think of how late it’d be when I got here.’  
  
He was honestly trying his best to be a gentleman and maintain appropriate eye contact. But the baggy sweatpants which sat low on her hips, along with a very nicely filled out singlet which had  **Trouble Maker** sprawled across her…

Well it was testing him to say the least. 

‘No, trust me. I’m happy you’re here.’ Lenni smiled, noticing his bashfulness. ‘It’s been awhile huh?’  
  
She opened her arms out to him, which made him break into his trademark grin. He quickly scooped her up into a fierce hug, as Lenni wrapped her legs around him and giggled. Keeping hold of her, they both pulled away from the hug to look at each other. Lenni found herself lost in his eyes for a moment.

‘You look great Sharks,’ she gave him a loving smile.  
  
He looked her up and down, ‘and you need fattening up girl. Hasn’t Nick and Kim got any soup to feed you?’ He chuckled heartily as he put her back down again.  
  
Lenni laughed, turning her shoulder in towards him to give him an affectionate shove. ‘Yeah, well… lets just say that up until today I haven’t been able to eat as much as I would have liked.’  
  
He gave her a sympathetic look. ‘None of us knew where the you were, but then uh… well word was gettin’ round that Jacob had you and-‘

Sharky stopped talking as soon as Lenni placed a finger on his lips as soon as she heard Jacob’s name. She didn’t want to think about him. Not now.  
  
‘It’s all good. Plus you guys did better without me around anyway.’  
  
He made a face and defiantly shook his head.

‘It’s never the same when you’re not there… and...’ He paused what he was saying, trying to find the right words as his cheeks reddened a little.  
  
‘Look chica, I ain’t gonna lie. You’re my best friend, but still the woman of my dreams. And I’m just happy as fuck that you’re alright.’  
  
When he pulled her in again for another hug, it was slower and more gentle. She couldn’t help but nuzzle her face into the crook of his neck. God damn he smelt so _good_. It reminded her of how smooth his skin felt against her lips that night in the cabin. Lenni closed her eyes, and tightened her grip around him.

‘Hey you wanna go and squash into a bed together just like old times?’ He murmured, resting his head against the top of hers.  
  
‘Mmhm.’ She mumbled as she pulled away.  
  
There was something different about her, but Sharky couldn’t place it. When they got into bed, they faced each other in the darkness. He thought about whether he should ask her about it. But even Sharky knew that it seemed like a stupid question, to ask if she was okay.  
  
Nobody in Hope County was _okay_.  
  
‘So what’s baby Rye like?’ He asked fondly, and even though he couldn’t see her he could tell her whole face lit up just by hearing the affection in her voice.  
  
‘Soooo beautiful,’ she gushed. ‘And guess who’s godmother?’

‘You?! Man good choice Rye’s, good choice.’ He said approvingly, smiling at her excitement.  
  
The way he gently twirled the curls of her hair around his finger, felt so comforting. They fell into another silence, and the smile on her face slowly faded. She couldn’t go tomorrow without letting him know.

‘Hey um, Joseph radio’ed me… before I spoke to you.’ she said softly. ‘He wants me to meet with him and his family tomorrow, to discuss something.’  
  
Sharky snorted. ‘Yeah right, nice try Broseph.’  
  
His heart sank when she kept quiet. ‘You’re not serious...’

‘I don’t think I have much of a choice.’  
  
Sharky rolled onto his back and ran his hands down his face in frustration. He hated this, all of it. The responsibilities she had and obligations she felt she had to follow through on for the Resistance. It was basically the reason why they couldn’t be together. Every risky thing she did by herself, made him feel sick to the core with fear. And even if he pleaded… like he wanted to right now, she would still just go ahead and do it anyway.

It was just who she was.

 

 

*****

’Are you sure you don’t want me to come along?’ Sharky asked. He had a hopeful look in his eyes, as he sat on the lid of the toilet seat watching Lenni as she braided her hair.  
  
‘No I don’t want anyone, especially you, to becoming collateral damage.’ She explained. ‘Seriously Shark, don’t you even think of following me there… I’ll come back here when it’s done.’  
  
Sharky clenched his jaw and shook his head slightly. ‘Yeah well, what if you don’t come back? Then fuckin what?’  
  
Lenni turned away from the mirror to face him, as she tied the elastic around the bottom of the braid. ‘Then that’s when you come looking.’

The drive to Seed Ranch only took a few minutes. It wasn’t at all long enough for her to prepare herself for the unknown. As she drove up to the driveway, she saw Jacob’s red truck parked by the side. Just seeing it made her stomach knot up. Why would she so nervous about seeing him again? It wasn’t just because she had escaped him, because she had escaped John too and didn’t give a fuck about him. The feeling she had about Jacob, it was just unexplainable.  
  
Peggies were everywhere, roaming the perfectly manicured grounds of Seed Ranch fully armed. They had obviously been told to expect her arrival, because any other time they would have shot at her car at first glance. But today, they just cautiously watched on as she approached them slowly.  
  
Lenni rang the doorbell, hearing a grand chime sound through the entrance inside. And why she started smoothing her… well, _Kim’s_ mauve and black flannel shirt of any creases - she had no idea. Maybe the same reason she applied mascara too? She shook her head, staring down at her boots as she waited.

The door swung open, and Lenni’s head snapped up to smile at a very enthusiastic Faith standing there.  
  
‘Deputy! It’s so nice to see you again,’ she grinned, practically bouncing on the spot. ‘Please, come in.’  
  
Faith moved aside, to let Lenni walk past. Her eyes widened as she took in the ranch’s suave and extravagant interior. It was decorated completely in a contemporary rustic style. Everywhere she looked, it was at something grossly expensive. Chandeliers made of deer antlers, a ginormous open fireplace, exposed thick cedar beams in the ceiling. Luxurious, over the top… it was definitely John Seed’s home. She honestly hadn’t seen anything this fancy since leaving New York.  
  
She finally landed her sights straight ahead, where the three brothers were watching her as they sat casually on a chocolate brown leather couch. It was big enough to sit about twenty people.  
  
‘Deputy,’ Joseph stood up with his arms out as a welcoming gesture. John was next to stand up, following Joseph’s lead. He had smiling eyes, like he thought something was amusing. Why did he always smile like that? And then there was Jacob… who finally stood up with a sigh, only because he had to.  
  
Well, if this wasn’t the most awkward fucking thing…

‘My child, I hope you have brought your appetite.’ Joseph smiled, ‘John went to the effort to arrange a wonderful breakfast for us all to enjoy.’  
  
The silence which followed, hinted to Lenni that she actually had to say something. She glanced over at John.  
  
‘Thank you.’  
  
‘Oh the pleasure is all mine Deputy.’ He smiled smugly. ‘After all, it’s not often we all find ourselves under the same roof… acting civilised.’  
  
As each second passed of mindless small talk, Lenni was growing more wary and Faith must have sensed it.  
  
‘How about we make our way to the dining area,’ she smiled. ‘I’m sure the Deputy is wondering why she has been invited to join us this wonderful morning.’

‘Yes a wonderful morning indeed Faith,’ John mused, as he took his usual seat at the table across from Faith. ‘Hopefully it didn’t impact your cozy little sleepover with Charlemagne Boshaw too much.’  
  
Lenni could feel the colour drain from her face, as John sat there looking like the cat who ate the canary.  
  
‘No, it didn’t. But thank you for your consideration.’ She said icily.  
  
At that very moment she made the regrettable decision of looking across at Jacob. If there was ever an image needed for a murderous look, this was it. His eyes, were dark. He looked ready to lean over the table and grab her by the throat. Lenni subtly gulped, looking away, not sure why he was looking at her like that. John and Joseph didn’t notice, but Faith definitely did. She cleared her throat gently, which seemed to quickly snap Jacob out of whatever was going through his head.  
  
Once the caterers had brought everyone’s meal out, adding to the already set up buffet of fruits, toast and spreads - a silence put an end to the horrible small talk between John, Faith and Joseph.  
  
‘My child, would you like to say grace?’ Joseph looked at Lenni, as he took her and Jacob’s hand.  
  
Just when things couldn’t get any worse.

‘Sh-sure,’ Lenni gave him a tight-lipped smile. She hadn’t said grace since going to her grandparents house for dinner. Which was when she was about eleven.  
  
‘Thank you Lord for what we are about to receive. Let us all be grateful, amen.’  
  
‘Amen,’ chimed Joseph, Faith and John as Jacob more-so grunted before they all picked up their cutlery.

‘So uh, I’m sure you won’t blame me for doing this,’ Lenni said as she glanced at the egg and spinach omelette on everyone’s identical plate. ‘But I’d like to swap my meal with someone.’  
  
This made Jacob huff a laugh to himself. ‘Here.’  
  
They swapped plates quickly, as Faith watched with a confused expression on her face.

‘She thinks we’ve poisoned her food.’ John jerked his head towards Lenni as he kept his eyes down, spearing his fork through a piece of food.  
  
‘Oh no, Deputy. This is a civil meeting.’ She assured her.

‘Well with all the concussions, bliss arrows, starvation, drowning and everything else I’ve copped… I guess I’m finally starting to learn.’ Lenni shrugged.

‘… and thanks, by the way.’ She added, looking at Jacob as she pointed to her food, referring to the swap. But he said nothing, instead just threw her another look of pure disdain. She held his eye contact, furrowing her brow. Was he personally _offended_ that she had escaped?  
  
‘Deputy, the reason why I have asked you here today is on behalf of my family… I would like to make a proposal.’

Lenni focused her attention back on Joseph, still holding her knife and fork on either side of her plate.

‘What would your thoughts be on a ceasefire for all of Hope County?’ he asked, tilting his head thoughtfully to gauge her reaction.  
  
‘As in…’ Lenni slightly lowered her head and raised her eyebrows. Had she heard right? The Father wanted to end the cult war? ‘No more violence?’ she clarified.  
  
‘The Collapse is upon us. Our actions have stemmed from the intention of saving as many people as possible,’ he explained. ‘However that triggered actions of unnecessary violence from your colleagues and the Resistance.’  
  
The Deputy narrowed her eyes. ‘You can’t blame us solely for what has happened-‘

Joseph raised his hand up, as a sign for her to be quiet.  
  
‘No.’ Lenni continued defiantly, pointing in his direction. ‘If you want a ceasefire, _great_. But don’t pass it off as being due to everyone else’s fault but your own.’  
  
Jacob, Faith and John kept quiet, looking back and forth between Joseph and the Deputy.  
  
‘My child,’ he smiled gently. ‘We just want to return back to our roots. Help those who seek help, and all coexist in Hope County together until it’s time...’

Lenni listened to his words carefully, taking no chances on being fooled by carefully worded promises. ‘Return back to your roots? What does that even mean?’

‘When they first arrived, Joseph used to run sermons. Anyone who wanted to listen, was welcome.’ Faith piped up. ‘Jacob used to even run scouts club for the kids. It was so cute!’

Lenni looked from Faith with raised eyebrows, to Jacob, but he refused to look back at her - or anyone else for that matter. He just rubbed his temple as he moved food around his plate with his fork.  
  
‘So the ceasefire, will it be permanent?’ She asked, shifting her focus back on to Joseph yet again.  
  
The Father nodded, ‘unless your Resistance behaves in a way which violates the agreement... or our people too of course.’  
  
‘So no more trials? Skin carving? Turning people into zombies?’ Lenni pressed, looking around the table at each herald as she described their technique.  
  
‘Everything will be modified accordingly to suit the agreement.’ Joseph assured. ‘This isn’t a trick Deputy. We want what is best for everyone, and hopefully by making that clear, people will trust us enough to seek guidance willingly.’  
  
Lenni sat quietly for a moment to take it all in. It seemed too good to be true, but she still wasn’t entirely convinced that they would keep to their word.  
  
‘For me to agree to this, means that you all have to release everyone who wants to leave and return home. Without _any_ consequences. That includes Pratt, Joey, _everyone_.’ She told them. ‘And the entire agreement needs to be in writing, signed off by each of us.’  
  
John leaned back in his chair to stretch as he laughed. ‘Well now you’re talking my language, Deputy. Don’t you worry - I’ll have something drawn up by the end of the day.’  
  
‘Good. So go make yourself useful then.’ She snapped, before looking around at the rest of them as she pushed her chair back to stand up. ‘So that’s it?’

‘You haven’t touched your breakfast Deputy, please… stay and enjoy.’ Faith looked at her plate, looking disappointed.

‘In a rush to get back to the Rye’s I see?’ John smirked, entertained by the Deputy’s annoyance.  
  
‘Sure am, Sharky’s probably cooking me something _amazing_ as we speak.’ She said sarcastically.

‘Thank you Joseph, we’ll be in touch.’ Lenni patted Faith on the shoulder as she walked past, not even bothering to acknowledge Jacob. What was the point? He’d only just give her another one of his looks.  
  
As she walked out towards the car, she felt her stomach grumble. Maybe there was more of that spaghetti left? She hoped so, because Sharky was a fucking terrible cook.


	21. Testy Festy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title says it all! The next few chapters will be dedicated to Hope County’s biggest annual event.

Since signing the agreement, Hope Valley had been an oddly peaceful place to be. The Seeds had broadcasted a message, communicating the changes to all residents. Anyone who wanted to leave The Project, were free to go.  
  
‘ _My family, and the Deputy have reached an agreement. An agreement which allows for all of us to come first, for all of us to live our own lives in Hope County… together.’_

As they stood and watched it on the television at the jail, Earl gave her the nod of approval.  
  
‘You did good Rook, real good.’  
  
The pair had had an emotional reunion when she arrived at the jail with Sharky to see him. The two stayed up all night, talking everything over. Lenni was surprised to learn that Faith had actually spared Earl after meeting with her. It was great for Earl, but not so much for Burke. He had showed such defiance and resistance towards her from the beginning, she continued using him as her personal lab rat for bliss experiments.  
  
‘Thanks Earl.’ She smiled, he’d always been a positive supporter of hers.  
  
The rest of the County, voiced mixed reactions about the ceasefire. Sharky, Grace and a few others were pleased about it, but skeptical about how long it would last. Whereas Hurk, Adelaide and Nick were over the moon and quickly moved on with everyday life. Then there were others who thought the ceasefire was a shitty resolution, without any consequences.  
  
Whatever the option was, it made Lenni finally realise that no matter what she did, or how… not everyone was going to be happy.  
  
Regardless, it looked like Joseph was getting his wish for Hope County being a place of ‘co-existence’, despite ones religious beliefs. But the main test to prove whether it was _really_ possible, was the upcoming annual event.  
  
The Testy Festy.  
  
Holland Valley was bombarded with crowds of people, and looked nothing like the deserted little town from weeks prior. It seemed like a miracle that an event like this, was planned in such short time. But she knew the Seeds were involved – and they have their ways. Faith was particularly involved, and had turned this into her own pet project. She wanted this year to be bigger and better than ever before. There were posters, billboards, radio advertising on the cultist channel and on Wheaty’s. People were getting excited, it was the talk of the town.  
  
It was running over five days, with food trucks, live music, karaoke, woodchopping competitions, eating competitions, a ferris wheel, carnival games, rodeos and the festival ending with a County Dance.  
  
Hurk, Sharky and Lenni had managed to get into Spread Eagle, just before what felt like the rest of Hope County had arrived. It was after lunch time, and apparently everyone had the same idea as they did - get some alcohol into the system, before heading down to watch the rodeo.  
  
‘You uh, going to the dance?’ Sharky asked, eyeing off a poster as he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie.

‘I don’t know, maybe… but I want to head up the mountain at some point and see if that place is still unclaimed. I figured I could do that, and take advantage while everyone is down here.’ She answered, shrugging.  
  
‘I was going to go stag,’ Hurk piped up. ‘But we should go together, as Shurky. The lady folk won’t be able to resist that.’  
  
Sharky gave Lenni a little glance, he had been wondering whether or not to ask her properly. Things between them still felt like they were in limbo, and while she was away had been a confusing time for him.

‘Uh Hurky, it depends on the competition,’ he replied.

‘What competition?’ Lenni tilted her head curiously, playing with the straw sitting in her lemon, lime and bitters.  
  
‘I’ve signed up for the eating competition.’ Hurk smiled proudly, patting his round belly. ‘Last time I tried, I was ridin the porcelain express for days. But like… I’ve been practicing all week so I should be good.’  
  
‘Oh man. That’s alotta balls.’ Sharky said gruffly.

‘Yeah I know cuz, but did’ya see the prize? It’s one of them fancy Palasmo television sets!’  
  
‘Plasma.’ Lenni corrected him.

‘Nah amigo, I’m pretty sure it’s Palasmo. I did my research to make sure it was definitely worth it. Hey d’ya think they’ve drained all the-‘

Lenni chose to tune out of the conversation, and looked over at the bar where Mary May was run off her feet. There were dozens of people waiting in lines for drinks.

‘Need a hand?’ Lenni called out to her over the noise.  
  
‘Hell yeah, come on round.’ She shouted back. ‘I dunno where Susie is but holy shit. She’s chosen the wrong damn day to be late for her shift.’  
  
Lenni hadn’t been behind a bar since college days, but it didn’t take long for her to get back into the swing of it. She was actually enjoying herself and spotted many familiar faces, all happy to chat and some even thanked her for being the reason their family members had returned. She must have served at least twenty people within the fifteen or so minutes she was there.  
  
After dumping more cash in the tip jar on the back shelf, she turned back around again with a big smile that quickly faded. Her heart and stomach performed quick somersaults, seeing Jacob as the next person waiting in her line.

‘What would you like?’ She asked coolly, stepping closer with a forced tight-lipped smile.  
  
Holding a note out between his two fingers, he hunched over the bar counter. ‘Whiskey on the rocks.’  
  
She nodded once, grabbing a glass and scooping some ice. Jacob snuck a glance over his shoulder, to see John and Lonny chatting to a few followers at a table in the corner.  
  
‘So I don’t get a big smile like all the other customers?’ He asked, with a slightly teasing look in his eyes.  
  
Lenni raised an eyebrow, as she reached for the expensive bottle of whiskey. ‘Depends. Are you still sulking because I escaped?’  
  
His expression became a little more defiant and serious. ‘I don’t sulk Deputy… or should I call you bartender from now on?’  
  
She didn’t know if Jacob was being playful or downright condescending, but it didn’t matter. The genuine laugh that escaped her lips surprised him. Lenni looked him in the eye as she placed his drink on the counter.  
  
‘You could always call me by my actual name…’ She said with a knowing little smile, as she took the money from him.

Jacob picked up the glass, holding her eye contact. But their attention was diverted to a very apologetic Susie who came rushing behind the counter.  
  
‘Deputy! Man I’m sorry.’ She said as she placed a hand on Lenni’s shoulder. ‘Thanks for helpin. God, Mary May must be pissed…’

The side-eye that Susie received from her confirmed it all.

By the time Lenni looked back, Jacob had gone and disappeared into the crowd. Mary May nudged her gently, as she leant over time scoop up some ice.  
  
‘I’m getting real sick of thanking you for your help girl.’ She smiled. ‘Get outta here, go and have some fun.’

Lenni patted Mary May on the back before making her way back from the counter, squeezing past everyone to return back to the table where Hurk and Sharky were still sitting.

‘Yo! Shorty! Was starting to wonder if you were ever coming back!’ Sharky exclaimed. ‘We’re gonna make tracks and head down to watch the rodeo… you in?’ 

*****

Sitting on the wooden fence, the three of them watched cowboy after cowboy take their turn at competing in the rodeo. The blistering hot sun, was making it difficult to stay motivated to keep watching.  
  
Lenni exhaled loudly, as she took off her flannel shirt to reveal the white singlet she had on underneath. Through her dark sunglasses, she caught Sharky sneaking a peek when he thought she wasn’t looking.  
  
‘Hey guys.’ A female voice said from behind them. The three turned to looked around. Lenni didn’t recognise her but they did. Despite the hot weather, the woman was wearing jeans and a giant hooded coat, covering majority of her face.

‘Oh... hey Jess.’ Sharky greeted her, looking somewhat awkward. ‘Didn’t expect you to be a fan of the ol’ Testy Festy.’

‘M’not,’ she half shrugged. ‘But I was bored, and I had a feeling I’d run into you two somewhere around here.’  
  
‘Cool, uh,’ Sharky cleared his throat. ‘Jess, this is the Deputy. Dep, Jess helped with liberating the jail.’  
  
‘Oh yeah, Kim told me about that. Nice to meet you Jess.’ Lenni gave her a friendly smile that wasn’t at all reciprocated. Instead she just gave her a look up and down, not saying a word.  
  
‘So are you guys gonna hang around here for much longer?’ Jess asked, sounding slightly impatient.  
  
Sharky and Hurk, exchanged quick glances at each other, unsure of what to say. Lenni chuckled to herself as she hopped off the wooden fence.

‘I’m gonna grab some food.’ She announced as she began to walk away. ‘If you’re not here when I get back, we’ll just meet up again later.’  
  
As she walked around the groups of people, past the randomly placed bales of hay and parked cars and trucks… she caught sight of Jacob sitting on the back of his truck with John standing next to him. They were talking to a very attractive woman. Black hair shoulder length hair with full bangs. She was petite, and her clothes emphasised all the right… assets. Lenni noticed that she had an Eden’s Gate sleeve tattooed on her right arm.  
  
And whatever she was talking about must have been really fucking interesting.  
  
It was the first time she had ever seen Jacob listen to someone so intently before. He even looked like he was about to smile. John was standing closest to her, also taking in every word… every syllable.  
  
Luckily the sunglasses were able to hide the scowl Lenni caught herself wearing. Maybe she was imagining things, but it sounded like their conversation completely stopped just as she walked past. She felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over her, making her glance down at herself and groan.  
  
Back in New York, she loved to look good and always made the effort. But now, she didn’t even have a wardrobe. No wonder Jacob was enjoying talking to her.  
  
Was she jealous? Just the thought of that made her cringe. Instead, Lenni just put it down to being hangry. Yeah, that had to be it.  
  
Taking the burger she ordered ‘ _with_ _the_ _lot_ ’, she continued walking after spotting a tree further down the road. A little time out from the festival seemed like a nice idea.

Sitting cross-legged Lenni admired the way the mountains lined the horizon before the beautiful blue sky. While she practically inhaled the burger that was almost the size of her head, she wondered when was the last time _Pretty Peggie_ had eaten a burger? Another bitter scowl formed, as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. Then she heard a snort of soft laughter from behind her.

‘Ever heard of a napkin?’  
  
Lenni gasped as she turned her whole body around quickly, looking up at Joey.  
  
‘Oh my god. I don’t know whether to hug you or kick your fucking arse!’ Lenni exclaimed, as she practically threw her food down and stood up with outreached arms.

Joey huffed a laugh, ‘well it’s gotta be one of the other.’  
  
Lenni grabbed onto her tightly in a fierce hug, trying not to cry. Joey hugged her back, closing her eyes and smiling.

‘How are you?’ She asked, tucking Joey’s short bobbed hair behind her ear as they pulled away.

Joey smirked as they sat down, ‘are you asking how I really am? Or if I’m still a Peggie?’  
  
‘Both?’

‘I’m fine… and yeah. I am.’  
  
Lenni slowly nodded, not knowing what to say back to that.

Joey sighed and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. ‘I knew you’d be against it so… out with it Rook.’

Lenni went quiet, biting her lip as she tried her best to sound diplomatic, or understanding. ‘Why. Why did you do it.’  
  
It wasn’t a question, it sounded more of an accusation but Lenni couldn’t help it. ‘I had it all set up, you were _this_ _close_ to getting out.’ She made a pinching type of gesture with her fingers as she spoke.  
  
‘Come on Lenni.’ Joey sighed, surprising Lenni with the use of her name. ‘Why the fuck would you think I’d walk out of there and be fine with you going in there instead?’  
  
‘Why am I not surprised that he told you everything…’ she muttered as she shook her head. ‘He manipulated the whole thing.’

Joey sighed, ‘I felt like I had to. But not for the reasons you think.’  
  
She told Lenni all about her confession, and the ongoing guilt she carried with her about Danny’s death. And how John had agreed with her about being at fault. Lenni listened, internally arguing with everything she said. She found herself pulling at the grass underneath her legs, gritting her teeth, just to stay quiet. It didn’t work for very long.

‘Joey, Danny’s death wasn’t your fault. We’ve been over this so many times.’ Lenni sighed. ‘Even Earl was badly hungover that day, it could have happened to anyone.’

It had happened while Lenni was still in the academy, but she knew details. It happened on New Years Day, everyone in the County would have been hungover. Shit, it was only the first day of the Testy Festy and majority of people were tipsy by mid-morning.  
  
Joey continued to explain that since her cleansing she felt more at peace. That her life felt more meaningful now that she was living without sin. To Lenni though, it all just sounded like a spiel. Something all the Peggies probably had to rehearse so they would become walking-talking advertisements for The Project.  
  
The two friends sat in silence for a short moment, when Lenni quietly spoke up.  
  
‘I saw Staci. He told me to tell you that he loves you.’  
  
Her words looked like they cut right through her. She could see it in Joey’s eyes. The old Joey was still in there and Lenni vowed to herself she would get her back.  
  
‘Where is he?’ she asked, sounding choked up.  
  
‘Josephine?’ Two women called out, from the other side of the road. Using her full name indicated that they were Eden’s Gate followers.  
  
‘Is everything okay?’ one of them asked, eyeing Lenni cautiously.  
  
‘Yeah yeah, everything’s fine.’ She smiled at them as she stood back up. But when she turned back to Lenni, her smile vanished.

‘I’ve gotta go…’

Lenni’s eyes shifted from the women, then back to Joey with a raised eyebrow. ‘Because they don’t want you talking to me?’  
  
Joey smiled, amused. ‘I miss you.’

‘Then meet me at Spread Eagle late tonight, after it closes.’ Lenni whispered.

‘Rook.’  
  
‘Just. Fucking do it... please!?’  
  
Joey sighed shaking her head, before walking over to join her new friends.


	22. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter refers to alcohol use and intoxication/drunken behaviour.
> 
> Credit to theseedfamily and the audio they posted.
> 
> https://theseedfamily.tumblr.com/post/173723030812/x (Original creator unknown.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this character, I had a lot of fun writing this one!!!

When Lenni returned back to the rodeo, Sharky and Hurk were nowhere to be seen. The sun was still sweltering, and she figured that she should just call it a day.

‘Yeah Jacob’s competing for it again,’ some guy said to his friend as they walked past her. ‘He’ll win. He wins every time, the guy’s a fucking beast.’  
  
‘Come on then, they’ve probably already started.’  
  
Lenni watched one as the two men started walking faster, then deciding that she would follow. Maybe they were talking about another Jacob... but then again they did call him a beast.  
  
There’s was only room for one beastly Jacob in Hope County.  
  
The two walked down towards the church and veered right to an open grassy area with three small grandstands facing each other. A large banner hung on the back of the grandstand closest to the road, with **_WOODCHOPPING_**  scrolled across it.  
  
Maybe not finding Sharky and Hurk was kind of a blessing, she thought. Because sitting there staring at shirtless, muscly men sounded like a pretty good time. Lenni pulled out a couple of scrunched up dollar notes out of her pocket for a ticket and quickly found a seat. The spectators area was almost full, and there was also one spare seat next to her. Soon enough, the voice over the speakers immediately began calling out the names of the contestants, one by one.  
  
Every _single_ one looked like the type featured in a sexy firemen calendar… except for lumberjacks of course. Lenni was watching so intently, she didn’t even notice Adelaide leaving her seat to make a beeline for the vacant one next to hers.

‘I shoulda known you’d be here sugar,’ she nudged her, with a knowing smirk.  
  
‘Me?!’ Lenni squeaked, looking back and forth between the flexing men in the arena then back at Adelaide. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Oh come on sweet cakes, I know you love a good piece of meat just as much as I do…‘ the cougar mused. ‘Although, you don’t get much action huh?’  
  
‘Thanks for the reminder,‘ Lenni thought to herself. She was right though. As each man walked out, she could feel her eyebrows raising higher and higher. Was there some kind of law in Hope County she wasn’t aware of, about all Lumberjacks needing to be model material? By the time the fourth guy came out, she was trying to think of a valid reason to go to the Lumber Mill after the festival was over.

‘And our final contestant for this round…’ the commentator said. ‘Returning back after his 2017 and 2018 wins. The reigning champion… _Jacob Seed_!’  
  
The crowd roared as he walked out from the tent where they were waiting to be called out. As soon as Lenni saw him, her breath hitched. He had taken off his military jacket, and the grey shirt hugged his pectoral muscles and biceps perfectly. Jacob turned around slightly, lifting his hand a little and nodded at the enthusiastic crowd.  
  
Lenni didn’t clap though. She barely even blinked. Instead she sat there, biting her bottom lip as she stared at his perfectly rounded arse. Her glasses, masked her hooded eyes but obviously did nothing to stop the goosebumps spread across her skin from head to toe.

‘You can’t tell me… a man built like that, with all that broodiness, isn’t good in bed.’ Adelaide leant in to Lenni, muttering so only she could hear.  
  
And that was the exact moment when Lenni’s brain went crazy. The entire world in her eyes, just shifted. As she sat there, surrounded by spectators who were genuinely there to watch these men chop wood... she instead sat there, thinking of all the things she would do to Jacob Seed.  
  
She watched him as raised the axe, and throw it back down to carve into the chunky piece of wood in the ground. His muscles rippled, and his slate grey t-shirt hugged against his toned lats. Every time she heard an animalistic grunt escape his lips, made her feel more and more intoxicated.

It had all confirmed everything that she had been trying to deny. And she was one hundred percent jealous of Pretty Peggie. She wanted him to look at _her_ like that.  
  
She just wanted him.

‘Fuck.’ Lenni muttered under her breath as she scrambled to stand up.

‘Where you off to in a hurry sweet cheeks?’ Adelaide called out, watching her squeeze past everyone’s knees to get to the end of the row.

‘I um, I just.. have to get out of here.’ She mumbled, talking to herself rather than actually answering Adelaide. As she got to the bottom of the grandstand amongst all the cheering and shouting, she looked up and accidentally made direct eye contact with John. Whatever it was that he said made, Joseph, Faith, and Pretty Peggie turned to look over at her from the front row.  
  
Oh _goodie_ , the whole gang was there.  
  
Lenni took one more look at Jacob, who wasn’t that far away from where she was standing. For a split second, they made eye contact as he raised the axe above his head. She felt her heart flutter, and took that as her cue to hightail the fuck out of there.  
  
‘Deputy!’ She heard someone call out behind her but she didn’t bother. ‘Deputy!’ They called again, obviously following her.

When she stopped to turn around, she had realised it was Faith. 

‘Wow,’ she giggled. ‘You were walking so fast you mustn’t have heard me.’

Lenni didn’t really respond, and just huffed a forced breathy laugh as she pulled her braids out to make a messy ponytail.  
  
Faith looked at her with a quizzical expression. ‘You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘I feel like I have.’ Lenni said dryly, moving her sunglasses to sit on her head.  
  
‘What’s wrong?’ Faith asked, looking up at the Deputy genuinely worried.  
  
Lenni shook her head, embarrassed. There was no way she was going to confide in Jacob’s sister about her feelings for him. And she had to be careful, especially after what she noticed at the breakfast meeting. Faith was extremely perceptive and intuitive, and appeared to notice Jacob’s pissed off attitude towards her when the others hadn’t.

‘Ah, it’s nothing. Just stupid stuff really…’ her voice trailed off. ‘Hey um, how are the preparations going for the dance?’ It was Lenni’s pathetic attempt to change the subject.

‘Oh beautifully!’ She beamed, twirling around on the grass and looking almost giddy with happiness. ‘Do you have your dress ready?’  
  
‘Oh! Uh, I um..’ Lenni fumbled, stuck for words.  
  
Faith stopped still to look at her, her smile instantly fading. ‘You are coming… aren’t you? You have to be there.’  
  
Shrugging, she felt guilty for letting her down. ‘I don’t know Faith. I was actually thinking of getting out of the Valley for awhile.’  
  
The herald quickly grabbed Lenni’s hand and dragged her towards a shady spot by the side of the grandstand. She patted the grass next to her, encouraging her to sit down with her.  
  
‘Okay what is really going on?’  
  
Lenni chuckled, embarrassed at the pettiness of her problems. Considering they had just resolved a cult war, Jacob seeing someone shouldn’t be getting to her as much as it was.

‘Men problems,’ she sighed.

‘Ohh,’ Faith gave her a knowing but empathetic look. ‘Is it to do with the woman who he’s been hanging around with lately? I was surprised too, I didn’t know until I saw them kissing.’  
  
Lenni felt her stomach tense listening to the confirmation. So Pretty Peggie and him are publicly affectionate too? She wondered how long it had been going on for, but didn’t want to ask.  
  
‘You can do _so_ much better Deputy,’ Faith pouted at her, patting her hand on top of hers.  
  
Lenni quirked a brow at the Herald, surprised that she’d speak like that of her brother. Maybe it was a girls-stick-together kind of thing? Whatever it was, it didn’t stop it from hurting.  
  
Why did it have to take another woman, to make her come to terms with how she felt? Annoyed with herself, her chin wobbled a little as she held back the need to shed angry tears.

‘It’s just been a weird day, that’s all. Tomorrow will be better,’ she lied.  
  
Standing back up, she held her hand out for Faith to take, helping her stand up too.  
  
‘Look I appreciate you taking the time to check on me… and for your leniency on Earl.’  
  
‘I’ll see you at the dance Deputy.’ Faith blew a kiss in her direction as she sauntered back towards the entrance of the woodchopping grandstand, while Lenni walked away in the opposite direction.

*****

‘Take a shot.’

‘Rook… I-‘ Joey tried to argue.

‘Take… a… shot.’ Lenni persisted, leaning over the table and pushing the glass up against Joey’s lips.  
  
She threw back another shot, which had them both at six shots each. After her conversation with Faith, Lenni went straight to the bar to check in with Mary May and ask if she could hang back in hopes of Joey stopping in. Obviously she was fine with it, and understanding that it needed to be hidden from the eyes of The Project. Lenni didn’t want to be seen as trying to lure her back.  
  
Even though that was exactly what she was trying to do.

‘I dun get it, why’d they cut your hair?’ Lenni pointed, slumped lazily against the booth seat as she stared at Joey’s head.  
  
Joey sat there for a moment trying to think of the words to use to explain. ‘It represents change… like moving forward, rebirth… and stuff.’ She waved her hand around, gesturing vaguely.  
  
Lenni snorted. ‘I prefer the way it was.’  
  
‘Me too.’ Joey responded quietly, before the two fell silent for a few minutes. They stared at the room around them in a drunken haze.

‘Staci would like it though.’ Lenni piped up again randomly, with a shit-eating grin. ‘You should keep an eye out for him during the festival.’

Joey bit the inside of her cheek, as she fidgeted with the shot glass. ‘Did he… really say the thing?’  
  
‘Huh?’ Lenni grunted, pouring herself another shot.  
  
‘The thing.’  
  
‘What fucking thing?’

‘The love thing Rook, did he really say it?’ Joey slurred exasperatedly.  
  
Lenni sank the tequila shot without even a wince. ‘Fuck yeah he said it. Just before he threw me over the balcony.’  
  
Joey’s eyes shifted from the shot glass, to back up at Lenni. She frowned from confusion, wondering what the actual fuck her friend was talking about.  
  
Lenni groaned loudly, as she dragged her hands down her face. ‘He helped me escape from St. Francis… but I shouldn’t have.’

‘Why?’

‘Because,’ she sighed dramatically. ‘Jacob.’  
  
Joey poured another shot and pushed it towards Lenni. ‘Shot or spill.’  
  
Lenni gave her a sulky look, picked up the shot glass and threw it down her throat. ‘Promise you won’t say anything?’  
  
Joey snickered at how that always worked with Lenni. She was supposed to either take a drink or admit what she was thinking about. But Lenni always did both anyway, which Joey thought was hilarious every time.  
  
‘I mean it _Josephine_ , not even to any of your fuckin stupid Peggie friends.’ Lenni pointed, waving her finger.  
  
‘I won’t!’

‘I… found out today that,’ she sighed dramatically. ‘That I like Jacob.’  
  
Joey stared at her, with a deadpan expression. ‘You found out? What, did someone fucking tell you or something?’

‘No.’ Lenni squinted her eyes and wobbled her head mockingly. ‘I only figured it out for myself because he has a little girlfriend now. And she’s really pretty too, that _bitch_.’  
  
Joey cocked her head to the side like a curious puppy. ‘Jacob Seed has a girlfriend? Jesus...’

Now really slouching in her seat, Lenni poked out her bottom lip as she tried to read the label of the tequila bottle.

Tried to.  
  
‘Well I won’t say anything. The Resistance would eat you alive if they figured it out anyway, it’s probably a blessing in disguise Rook.’  
  
It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but she knew Joey was probably right.  
  
‘Anyway let’s change the subject.’ Lenni announced. ‘We need to figure out how you’re going to finally fuck Pratt.’

Resting her head against her hand as she leaned on the table, Joey gazed up at Lenni with a look of disbelief. ‘Okay first of all, ya nasty… and second, I’m practicing celibacy.’  
  
Lenni eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something but was quickly cut off.

‘Come on, let’s get out of here. I have to get back,’ said Joey as she moved to try and get up.  
  
‘Leave the cult Jo-jo. Come live with me in my cabin,’ Lenni pleaded drunkenly before hiccuping loudly. She stood up too, and flung her arm around Joey as she grabbed the tequila bottle with her other hand. ‘You won’t have to be celibate at all. It’ll be like old times!’

‘I err...’ Joey mumbled, almost tripping over her own feet. ‘Rook I’m too fucking drunk to think about it.’  
  
The best friends stumbled out of the bar, and squinted up at the neon sign as Lenni flicked the lock before closing the door behind them.

‘Love ya blondie!’ Joey grinned goofily as she grabbed Lenni for a bear hug.  
  
‘Blondie?! That’s what John calls me.’ She scowled.

Joey laughed as she started to walk away waving at her slowly, ‘I know… but give him credit. It’s pretty catchy. I’m sure he means it with kindness and all the love in the world.’

‘Stupid Jake Gyllenhaal wannabe.’ Lenni muttered to herself, stumbling onto the road as she took a swig straight from the tequila bottle.  
  
By the time Lenni woke up, it took her a long time to register where she was. The room felt like it was spinning, and the sunlight radiating through the sheer curtains was _obscenely_ bright. Groaning and grumbling, she forced herself to stand up and stagger into the main room.  
  
The cabin… she was back in the Whitetail Mountains cabin. Was she still dreaming? Confused and with no recollection of how the hell she got there, Lenni grabbed the first glass she could find and filled it with water. Guzzling it down, she refilled it again… and again.  
  
As she drank the last top-up, her eyes finally settled on a handwritten note left on the kitchen bench.  
  
_You have forgotten your purpose Deputy._ _You were on the right path, but you strayed. Fear did this to you. Don’t worry, it’s not too late._  
  
_Come back to me... remember your purpose._

Loud alarm bells rang inside Lenni’s head, before she ran like hell to the bathroom covering her mouth.


	23. Sunshine

‘ _What the hell happened last night?_ ’ Lenni thought to herself, while sprawled out on the bed as she stared up at the ceiling

After leaving the Spread Eagle, everything was blank. But it didn’t take a genius to work out that Jacob had brought her back, which was... concerning. How did that come about? And what did they talk about during the long drive back?

Lenni groaned, dreading the thought, as she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Alcohol was like a truth serum for her. Joey and Pratt used to think it was _hilarious_ when they went out drinking because of her brutal honesty.

Fuck. She could’ve said anything... 

Sighing, Lenni got up and sauntered lazily back into the kitchen. She eyed off the note still placed on the kitchen bench, before seeing her old radio sitting on the windowsill. Actually, all of her belongings were still there from the first night she had stayed. Her rifles, compound bow, radio and everything in her backpack was just where she had left them.... making it pretty clear that the owners of the place wouldn’t be returning.

Lenni leant over the countertop, resting her elbows on the dark grey granite as she toyed with the dials and buttons. ‘Hey Dutch, you there? I haven’t heard from you in awhile… just checking in.’

Minutes had passed and no reply. That was unlike him but she shrugged it off, and went to another channel. 

‘Sharks… Grace?’  
  
She gave out her location and waited, but heard nothing back from them either.  
  
With the ceasefire in full effect, there probably wasn’t a real need for radios anymore. And with the Testy Festy on, she had no doubt that everyone was out and trying to get on with life. Which was great for them, but the newfound peace in Hope County was making her miss her own.  
  
Lost in her own thoughts, Lenni glanced back to the note. She stared at it for a long moment, before caving in and picking it back up again to read.

 _ **Come back to me.** _  
  
What the hell was that? If she didn’t know any better, Jacob’s wording could have been misinterpreted as a romantic gesture. A laughable thought. And anyway, he had his own little cultist supermodel strutting around batting her eyelashes.  
  
Just thinking about it made Lenni roll her eyes. Scrunching up the note, she tossed it in the bin as she walked out. It was time to forget about him once and for all... and his little note. 

As an attempt to clear her head, Lenni stood at the top of the patio steps admiring the beautiful view of the lush trees surrounding her little cabin. The smell of pine along with the cool breeze against her skin was refreshing. It sure best the mugginess down in the Valley.

Her lips slightly curled, knowing that not all her friends were at the festival. Bringing two fingers to her lips, Lenni let out a shrill whistle. Waiting with anticipation, she was hoping to hear a thunderous galloping sound quickly approaching. And she wasn’t disappointed.

‘Hey you two!’ Lenni shrieked excitedly as she hurried down the stairs towards the Fangs for Hire, who sat waiting for her obediently.   
  
Peaches bowed her head and nuzzled into her hand, while Cheeseburger waited patiently for cuddle. Such a good boy.

‘Ooh I missed you both so so _much_ ,’ Lenni gushed as she kneeled down and flopped into the bear. She was surprised to feel a lump slowly forming in her throat, but not as surprised as when she heard a familiar voice behind her.  
  
‘Hey what up Po-po!’  
  
Sitting on Cheeseburger like he was a big cozy armchair, with Peaches sprawled across her lap demanding to be patted – the three of them looked over in the direction of the where the voice had come from. The loud hisses and rumbles from the fangs as they shifted into defensive stances. But when they realised it was only Sharky, both sat back down again... looking oddly disappointed.

‘I’m surprised to see you here... and so quickly,’ she smiled as they hugged. ‘I thought you must’ve been kicking on at the festival with Hurk.’  
  
Lenni headed back towards the steps, gesturing for him to follow her inside.  
  
‘Well yeah uh, that was the plan but… then the eating competition happened and it all went south from there. Literally.’  
  
She turned around and gave him a look of disgust. So much for Hurk’s so-called ‘ _training_ ’.  
  
‘Yeah so uh... anyway,’ he said, thinking of a way to quickly change the subject. ‘So this is your crib now? Nice find Shorty.’

Lenni shrugged halfheartedly. ‘It’s a crib, but not a home.’   
  
As she tinkered around the kitchen to make coffee, she could spot Sharky from the corner of her eye leaning over the kitchen with his arms rested on the counter watching her.  
  
‘Out with it.’ Lenni said, turning to him with a smile as she placed two mugs down in front of him.

‘What?’  
  
She glanced down at his hands, jutting her chin to acknowledge the way he was tapping his fingers. ‘You’re doing that thing you do.’  
  
He was saved by the whistling kettle. Sharky remained quiet, as she turned away from him to pick it up. He was caught up remembering back to the first time they met. What an absolute sight for sore eyes she was. Still is.  
  
‘I uh,’ he mumbled as they both sat down together on the couch. ‘I’ve just missed ya… s’all.’  
  
It wasn’t earth shattering news. He always missed her, and he had no problem telling her that either. It didn’t matter who he was with or what he was doing - everything was always better when she was around. 

‘I’ve missed you too Sharks.’ Her famous grin that always lit up her face, melted his heart again for what felt like the six-hundredth time. ‘We haven’t really had much time to properly hang out lately huh.’ 

Her words gave him a sinking feeling. Because she was right, they hadn’t spent much time together. As soon as she marched into the Whitetail Mountain region, it was difficult for the Resistance to keep track of her. Of course they later learned it was because Jacob had her and then Eli saved her... and so on. But at the time, they had all agreed to keep liberating outposts until enough time had passed to warrant concern. After awhile, things began to change... everything felt disorganised and chaotic without her leadership. People, especially him, were feeling a bit lost.

When her remark was met with silence, Lenni looked back up at him - knowing something was going on. She leant across and rested her hand on his, the curiosity in her eyes quickly turned to concern.  
  
Her soft touch instantly snapped Sharky out of his daze as he looked down at their hands and then back to her. Their friendship was so important to him and she had definitely been right about the timing not being great between them. But as much as he tried, and boy did he _try_ … he just couldn’t get over her.  
  
So he did what his instincts were itching to do. Leaning over quickly, he pressed his lips against hers. Lenni froze for a moment, but soon relaxed and welcomed his advances.  
  
Lenni had almost forgotten what it was like to be kissed, and how good it felt to feel cared for. So good in fact, the two were bumping into furniture and doorways as they eventually made their way into the bedroom.  
  
‘Wait… wait..’ she said breathlessly as she leaned back to look at him after tumbling onto the bed. ‘Let’s slow down so we can enjoy it more.’  
  
She bit her lip, trying to fight a smile as she slowly took off Sharky’s hoody. His singlet underneath had bunched up with it too, exposing his nicely toned stomach and chest. While his face was covered in the process of taking them off, Lenni leaned in and planted open mouthed kisses on his stomach. The ticklish feeling of her hair brushing against his skin made him laugh that husky chuckle she liked so much.

‘You are so perfect chica.’ He murmured, looking at her with such adoring eyes before pulling her in for another kiss. 

This. _This_ is what she craved. Devotion, affection… love.  
  
Wholesome, honest, trusting love.  
  
Each night as they fought alongside in each other, they always shared a bed. He would always innocently play with her hair while they spoke in the dark until the one of them fell asleep. He never once, made her uncomfortable and was always such a gentleman.

Was Sharky husband material?  
  
Well they always say to marry your best friend. And the way he cared for her, held and kissed her... 

It made her smile just thinking about it, as she started to run her fingers through his hair. And just as she was about to take the plunge, she suddenly saw the front of Hope County Jail and people fighting.

Faith’s angels were running in from all directions, and she spotted Sharky, Grace, and Nick shooting from the rooftop until a loud cheer erupted. It was the moment they had liberated Hop County Jail.  
  
Sharky was beaming with excitement and danced on the spot. He looked _so_ proud, standing tall with that goofy, infectious smile of his. Emerging behind him, a hooded woman stood up beside him wrapped her arm around his waist. They looked at each other happily before leaning in for a long tender kiss - which went on... and on.

‘Shorty, are you okay? You seem kinda... out of it.’  
  
Lenni blinked quickly a few times, before looking around and realising that she had pulled away. ‘Sorry, what?’  
  
He chuckled, gently leaning in towards her and kissing her neck. ‘It was like you were in a trance or something.’  
  
Pulling away again, she stared at him with a troubled frown as she could feel herself getting really hot.

‘Uh…’ her voice croaked as she quickly flicked her hair out of her face and tried to gather her thoughts.  
  
What the fuck was _that_?  
  
 _That’s_ what had began going on while she was away? During the time she was going through hell, getting attacked by that piece of shit guard at St. Francis and recovering from it… all while he was busy tuning someone else?  
  
‘Sharky?’ Her heart was pounding.

‘What’s up babe?’  
  
Her eyes finally looked directly into his. ‘What’s Jess Black to you?’  
  
That exact moment, everything felt like it came crashing down. God, the look in her eyes as she asked him. The sadness. He felt blindsided, and started to panic a little as he watched her slowly move further away from him.  
  
‘Nothing. She’s a friend, she-‘

‘You kissed... at the jail?’ Lenni asked quietly.  
  
His face fell. This was it. He had no idea of how she knew but there was no way he could lie to her.   
  
‘Well, ye-‘

‘And she was pissed off when she saw us hanging out at the festival yesterday huh?’  
  
Sharky shifted uncomfortably in his spot on the bed. He felt like he wanted to vomit. ‘Yeah, I uh-guess so… but please just hear me out.’  
  
By then, Lenni was standing up and away from the bed. The beat of her pulse was thumping through her body, as she tried desperately to remain calm.

‘Dep, I’ve always made my feelings clear about you. God everyone in the entire county knows I’m crazy about ya.’ His eyes looked glassy, as he watched a pokerface expression appear on her face. The very same one she would give to anyone who was an enemy of The Resistance.  
  
He was losing her.

‘Y-you were gone, for ages, because you were fighting in the mountains. And-and we kept going, fighting as well... to liberate shit. I didn’t know what you were going through, fuck chica - I still don’t know. But I was missing you so bad.’  
  
His voice broke as he tried not to cry.  
  
‘… I’m an idiot, because I just went along with it. I knew that you weren’t ready for anything and I was so lonely and… and… fuck.’

Sharky’s chest heaved as he wiped the tears streaming down his face. There was no way he could look at her, not when he was like this. 

‘I understand.’ She simply replied.  
  
He wasn’t expecting that. Sharky looked back up at her incredulously.  
  
‘But, what I don’t get is why you would wait until after we fucked before ever telling me.’ She said icily. ‘Well that’s assuming you were planning on actually telling me one day.’

Her words cut straight through him. He was speechless.  
  
‘And not only that Sharky,’ she continued. ‘Jess obviously has feelings for you, which _you’ve_ encouraged. Yet here you are with me…’

There was a deafening silence. Sharky sat on the bed, his head rested in his hands - as Lenni stood with her back against the wall, arms crossed. Minutes passed, which felt like hours. But it was her who finally spoke up first.

‘I think you should leave.’ Her voice was barely a whisper.  
  
Sharky looked up at her straight away with pleading eyes. ‘Please Dep, don’t do this. Please let’s just try and work through it. _Please_?’  
  
‘I’ve always trusted you…’

He started to say something, but she dismissively walked out of the room and stood by the door. He eventually followed, looking like a broken shell of himself.  
  
Sharky hadn’t meant to hurt her, in any way. Showing up at her cabin, the last thing he expected was for something to happen between them. And when it did, everything in his mind just went blank... leaving just him and her to be the only two people existing in the universe. 

He silently scolded himself as he walked out the door. When he reached the bottom of the steps, Sharky turned around and looked back up at her. Lenni was leaning by the doorway with her arms crossed. Her pokerface was gone, and was replaced by an expression far worse. Heartbroken.

And he hated himself for being the reason behind it.

‘I should’ve told you... I’m sorry,’ he sadly admitted. ‘But just so you know, everything I have ever said to you has always been the truth. The way I feel about you and stuff.’

Sharky went to turn away, but paused one final time. ‘I know I’ve fucked up. And I will regret it for the rest of my days.’

Lenni quietly watched him as he turned to walk away. Part of her wanted to stop him, but she couldn’t. Instead she turned around and gently closed the door behind her. She hazily made her way to the couch and flopped down into foetal position. Lenni stayed there for hours, crying. 

It felt like she had lost the sunshine from her life forever.


	24. Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter written in Jacob’s perspective. We find out what Lenni cannot remember.

Jacob glanced at the clock on the wall, 11:48am.

He should’ve been making a known appearance at the festival by now. It was a surprise that he hadn’t heard from John yet, wanting to know where he was.

But, paperwork called... not that he was complaining. The noise, crowds and the general busyness in Hope Valley at the moment just wasn’t his preferred environment. Despite the Testy Festy being Faith’s little passion project, Jacob was looking forward to it being over.  
  
Only four days to go.  
  
However while the comforts of his old, rundown office was a nice break away; even the peace and quiet had its own downfall and allowed him to think about things he’d rather avoid. Mainly, things involving the deputy.  
  
It grated on his nerves how _she_ , the deputy of all people, managed to get to him. What was it that made her so hard to forget? He was a 47 year-old man for crying out loud… too old to be carrying on like a smitten teenage boy chasing after a pretty girl he barely knew.

Pathetic… weak.  
  
Jacob placed his pen down and cracked his knuckles loudly. As he reclined back in his chair, he couldn’t help the amused smile that tugged at the corners of his lips as he thought of his encounter with her in the early hours of that morning.

Day one of the Testy Festy was a wrap, and Jacob had dropped John back at the ranch before doing one last round of the town. Even though there was a ceasefire, he still maintained his position as head of security for Eden’s Gate. As his way of helping Faith, he was responsible for doing the final rounds of the main parts of town, before retiring back to the ranch for the night - all ready for the next day of the festival.  
  
Well that was the plan anyway.  
  
Driving slowly down the main road of Falls End, the headlights of his truck caught sight of someone up ahead. Squinting as he drove closer for a better look, he quickly realised that it was the deputy. What the hell was she doing out by herself at this hour?  
  
Quirking a brow disapprovingly, he switched off the ignition and just watched her. She was completely oblivious to him being there, as she balanced a large glass bottle on her head and tried to walk steadily along the side of the road. She looked like an drunken acrobat on a tightrope. Her arms reaching out as ab attempt to stop wobbling. After a few attempts she gave up, only to grab the bottle again to take a long swig of... tequila?!

Sighing, Jacob stepped out from his truck and as he neared closer, he could hear her singing to herself. It gave him a brief remember of when she sang to him that night – which he had tried to push aside, _dozens_ and _dozens_ of times.

‘Deputy,’ he greeted her curtly.  
  
She immediately stopped singing and spun around, visibly surprised to see him. Her face broke into a big smile as she took a few steps closer to him.  
  
‘Well, well, well… If-it-isn’t Jacob Mister Seed.’ Leaning towards him, she placed her finger on his chest. ‘The _wood_ chopper.’  
  
The potent stench of alcohol radiating from her was almost strong enough to singe his nostril hairs. He quickly glanced down as she poked him once, choosing to ignore her jumbled greeting.

‘Where ya headed?’ he asked, maintaining his usual serious demeanor.

‘Nuh-uh. None of your concern.’ She waved him away, turning back around to continue walking.  
  
Jacob pursed his lips as he watched her stumble not once… but _three times_ within just seconds.

He couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t just leave her like that... by herself in the middle of the night, in the middle of Falls End. And where the fuck was her little boyfriend? That Boshaw idiot probably had no idea that she was out, putting herself at potential risk.

‘Come on,’ he said quickly as he took a few more steps, clenching his jaw at the thought. ‘I’ll take you wherever you want.’  
  
She looked over shoulder at him and scoffed. ‘Hey. I don’t need a shhh… chauf… someone to drive me. Plus mm’sure you’ve got better things to do.’  
  
There was some incomprehensible mumbling following that. Something about a peggie? He couldn’t tell. By then he caught up to her and turned her around gently to face him. The deputy could barely stand upright, and he noticed that her eyes were starting to close.  
  
‘Deputy.’ He gave her a little shake to make sure she wasn’t passing out. ‘For the last time. Tell me where you wanna go, or I’ll just make the decision myself.’

Jacob had no idea where he would’ve taken her, but just hoped it would entice her to give a proper answer.

‘My cabin… n’the mountains.’ She slurred, now starting to lean against him.  
  
The Veteran looked around again uneasily. The last thing he needed was a witness taking the whole thing out of context then goodbye ceasefire.  
  
After helping her into the truck, he leant over to fasten her seatbelt. He could feel her eyes on him and chose to ignore it… until her fingers ever so gently started stroking the side of his face and beard.

‘…. I watched you chop the wood.’ She said in a low voice. ‘Y’looked so sexy.’  
  
Jacob huffed a laugh as he gave her a look of disbelief. For a second there, she didn’t look like a drunk and disorderly menace.  
  
She looked, heavenly.  
  
Thousands of butterflies fluttered in his stomach as she gave him the tiniest and sweetest smile, before resting her head against the window and instantly falling asleep.  
  
And then cue the snoring.  
  
Holy shit.  
  
If it were anyone else, he would’ve kicked them out of the truck without even slowing down. But not her. If anything, he actually enjoyed listening to it. Of course, it was weak and pathetic of him - but nobody would ever know.

So much for going back to the ranch.  
  
He spent a lot of the drive thinking about why she had drank so much. Was she unhappy? Was she looking after herself? Was Boshaw a bad influence on her? It was a shame seeing her like that when she had so much potential.  
  
When Jacob carried her from the truck and into the cabin, it was clear that nobody had been there for awhile. He took her into the bedroom, and set her down on the bed on top of the covers.  
  
‘G’night snoring beauty.’ He murmured, and smiled to himself when she answered him with another snore that could put a chainsaw to shame.

Just before he opened the door to leave, Jacob paused. He had caught a glimpse of a pen resting on a pad of paper next to the couch. Closing the door again, he grabbed them and started writing.  
  
The Deputy was not only a decent person, but a woman someone like him didn’t deserve. Not with all his, baggage. And he’d be damned if she was to ever find out how he felt, and feel obliged to let him down gently just because she was already involved with someone. That someone who, also didn’t deserve her.

It was now 12:15pm.

‘Fucken snap out of it.’ He hissed at himself, while rubbing his temple.

‘Weak. Pathetic. You don’t need anyone. Remember your _purpose_.’ Jacob gritted his teeth as he picked up his pen and continued on with his work.  
  
Skimming through the various notes and plans on ways to differentiate the trials, he was distracted again by a sudden knock at the door.

‘Enter,’ Jacob called out.

His second-in-charge entered, with a troubled look on his face. ‘Sir, there is someone here to see you. It’s the deputy.’

‘Hartfield?’ He asked.

‘Yes sir. I apologise for interrupting you, but she insisted that you were expecting her visit.’  
  
‘I’ll finish up here first and then make my way down.’


	25. Dicks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who wants to see Adelaide Drubman go OFF? Now I can’t wait to get started on the next chapter!!!

A knock at the door, startled Lenni just as she had sat back down on the couch with a fresh cup of coffee. She stared at the door as another impatient knock followed, and a stern voice called out from the other side.

’Honey, it’s just me. Come on I know you’re in there.’

With a sigh, Lenni quickly made her way to the door and flung it open. She saw Adelaide standing there expectedly, looking mighty unimpressed with one hand on her hip.

’Addy if you’re here to-‘ 

‘I cannot _believe_ this.’ She hissed as she practically pushed her way inside.

’.... sure come in.’ Lenni mumbled to herself, as she closed the door. She took a deep breath before turning back around to face Adelaide.  
  
‘Look, if you’re here to-‘

‘Have a go at you?’ She scoffed as she paced the room. ‘Hell no. It’s that idiot nephew of mine that I’m pissy with. He showed up at the Marina all teary and feeling real bad. And so he damn well should.’

Lenni watched in silence as she practically wore the carpet down by angrily marching around the room.

’That _boy_. I use the word boy because that’s what he’s actin like... has been smitten with you since the moment he saw ya. And he goes and fucks it all up by thinkin with his dicks.’

’His dicks?’ Lenni questioned, confused with her use of the plural.

Adelaide stopped still and stared at her. ‘Yeah dicks. The one in his pants and the one on his damn forehead.’ 

Lenni’s eyes widened, trying to hide her amusement at how Sharky’s own aunt seemed angrier than her about the whole thing.

By the time she managed to calm down a little, Adelaide took a seat on the couch and patted her hand beside her - inviting Lenni to sit too. Pulling her in closer for a sideway cuddle, Lenni enjoyed the comfort of a nurturing hug. 

Lenni sighed, as she rested her head on Adelaide’s shoulder. ‘He was such a good friend Addy, that’s the problem. Now everything’s shit.’

‘Oh none of ‘em are good honey. It’s just that some are better than others...’ she chuckled. ‘And you know what I reckon?’  
  
She tilted her head in a way to be able to look down at Lenni, ‘I think everyone‘s got a bit of good and bad in them. I’m just so lucky to have my Xander, he’s detoxed and cleansed all his bad away.’

Usually Adelaide’s comments about Xander used to make Lenni cringe. The woman was a repeat offender for over sharing, and Lenni knew _way_ too much than she ever cared to know about their sex life. But this time instead of trying not to pull a face, Lenni smiled to herself.

‘I’m glad you found happiness Addy. You deserve it.’

‘And so do you girl.’ Adelaide replied, patting Lenni on the leg before standing up. ‘We’re at a ceasefire for cryin’ out loud. The world’s your _oyster_ honey, go out and get some while you’re still young and hot.’

And why not? That’s what Sharky went and did.

Lenni huffed a laugh as she stood up too, ‘yeah I’ll try my best and keep you updated.’

Adelaide beamed as she gave her a hug. ‘You should get yourself one of them wood choppers to play with... oh lord I’ mighty, my nipples could’ve almost cut glass after watching their sweaty bodies and listening to them grunt.’

And there was that over sharing thing again.

‘Okay Addy, thanks for stopping by...’ Lenni laughed it off, trying not to look too mortified as as they walked out onto the front patio.

She paused, and gave Lenni another tilted head _look_. ‘Just promise me... you’re going to tidy yourself up and go find yourself some fun.’

‘Alright, alright. I promise.’ 

Lenni thought about what Adelaide said after closing the door. She had a point... instead of sitting around fiddling her thumbs - worrying about what her future held; she should be _out_ there. 

Freshly showered, her curly hair washed and cascading down down past her shoulder blades - she checked herself one last time in the mirror before leaving the cabin to make her way to Falls End.

But she had to make a stop off first.

***** 

The longer Lenni stood waiting in the middle of the large derelict foyer, the more she thought about whether or not this was a good idea. She slowly paced the room, looking at all the Eden’s Gate posters and photos that filled the walls. It was hard to believe that at one point, St. Francis was kind of her home. And being back there again, almost felt like she had never left.

Of all the Eden’s Gate paraphernalia that she was surrounded by, Lenni’s gaze settled on the large poster of Jacob which took up a large portion of the wall opposite the entrance to the room. 

‘Deputy.’

She spun around to watch The Veteran cross the room, his eye contact was the usual intense and direct gaze. 

‘Jacob...’ she greeted him back, noticing his eyes dip down then back up ever so quickly. 

‘I see you’re all recovered from the latest episode of Deputies Gone Wild?’ He quipped, as his lips curled into the slightest hint of a smirk.

‘Yeah, uh...’ Her eyes casted downwards as she scratched the back of her head, knowing damn well that she was blushing. ‘Um - yeah look if I said anything inappropriate I’m sorry.’

As she struggled to string together a somewhat intelligent sentence, Jacob slowly took a few steps forward, closing in the large gap that was between them.

’Nothing inappropriate at all Deputy. Actually there was a moment there when I couldn’t even understand ya.’

Lenni breathed a sigh of relief and let out a nervous little laugh. ‘Well that’s good... probably for the best anyway. I’m normally too honest apparently and blurt whatever I’m thinking.’

’Oh you still were... just didn’t think it was inappropriate. Actually gave me a bit of a chuckle.’ 

It was the first time she had ever seen Jacob smile. A genuine broad smile, with teeth and all. Meanwhile Lenni was too busy staring at it to realise that he had actually finished talking and was waiting for her to say something. 

‘Right, so um. Your note...’ Lenni shifted her weight from one foot to the other. ‘I just wanted to talk about it and ask what you meant.’ 

Jacob shrugged casually as he crossed his arms. ‘Was just my observation. You seemed lost and I think that your skills are going to waste.’

Had she said something during her drunken stupor?   
  
‘I agree...’ she simply responded.

‘You know Deputy...’ he began, rolling on his heels. ‘For some people, their purpose is right there in front of them... they just have to open their eyes - and minds.’   
  
Her eyes shifted around the room quickly as she gave him a small smile. ‘I don’t doubt that, but... I’m still not joining your cu-The Project.’

‘Then don’t. Train with my soldiers, work on those skills of yours in a place where you feel like you belong. No strings attached.’

If something sounded too good to be true, it probably was. And that’s what Lenni was worried about. Why was he offering her this? Why was Jacob Seed being nice? _Again_. Maybe this was the kind of fun Adelaide was talking about.

_Stop thinking Lenni, and just do it._

‘Okay.’ She said, smiling up at him.

Jacob’s face suddenly softened, and his eyebrows raised. That smile started to appear again, just as the moment was interrupted by-

‘Brother!’ a voice boomed from the main doorway.

Lenni clenched her jaw. Well, she could be certain it wasn’t Joseph.

Both of them looked over at the doorway, to see John stroll in with… Pretty Peggie.

 _Oh fuck_. Her! How the hell did Lenni manage to forget about her? Damn Jacob and his subtle charm. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

‘And look who I have brought with me.’ He grinned at Jacob and then eventually at Lenni.

‘Oh. Deputy. I didn’t notice you there, hello.’

Seriously? Who the fuck did he think his brother was having a conversation with? His invisible friend?

Lenni forced a weak smile. ‘Hello John.’

As the brothers began a lengthy conversation, she snuck a peek over at Pretty Peggie. Who really was… _pretty_ , gorgeous even. She had the blackest, shiniest hair, which sat perfectly straight just above her shoulders without a single hair out of place.  
  
The woman could pass as a model. She had a beige, linen, cultist fittest tunic top on which she _must_ have altered herself... because no other peggie looked anywhere near as fashionable. And her black skintight jeans, accentuated her great figure. She had an edge to her appearance, which she simply rocked.

No wonder she caught Jacob’s eye.

Meanwhile, there Lenni was - starting to think that he was giving her the eye. It was laughable really.

Fucking _pathetic._

‘We need to get to Faith. You know what she’s like, all smiles until… it gets bad.’ John gave his brother a knowing look.

Jacob agreed and began talking at length, as Lenni made the decision that she should definitely not be there. Not standing with Jacob, his girlfriend and his idiotic brother as they discussed things that did not involve her. She slowly backed away a few steps, enough for Jacob to notice and look over at her.

‘You guys have, uh. I’ll just, catch..’ she mumbled the last few words and gave them the most awkward wave, as she quickly walked out of the foyer.

‘What’s up with her?’ John chuckled, looking back at Jacob with an amused look.

He didn’t return his smile though, albeit slightly annoyed that he didn’t get to finish his conversation with her.

‘Nothin.’ He said shortly. ‘So why did you come up here anyway?’

‘Because. I knew you wouldn’t come back unless I physically came to get you… plus anyway, Holly and I felt like a drive.’ With a sly smile, John playfully slapped her on the arse, which made her laugh.

Jacob looked back and forth between them with an unamused expression. ‘Yeah I’m not fucking third wheelin’ in the car with you two. I’ll follow you down in the truck.’

*****

Faith sat cross-legged in the middle of the large white marquee, surrounded by yards of garland and white fabric. Feeling extremely in over her head, she sighed and wondered where her brothers were. Especially Joseph, he had been so absent lately… both physically and mentally.

The loud shatter of a glass bowl being dropped on the hardwood floor quickly caught her attention, as she watched three of her followers stumble around it, startled by the noise and mess.

‘Out please.’ She ordered, pointing at the small opening in the marquee which helpers were using for the setup. ‘Thank you but I shall handle this.’

Once they had left, she closed her eyes and rested her head in her hands. The last thing she needed was the festival dance being a massive failure. It was a humiliating thought, having to go back and explain herself to Joseph. Especially when he didn’t seem too bothered about the festival anyway. However it was the The Project’s money that she was gambling with here. The festival had to be perfect, and the dance had to be even better.

Faith sauntered outside for some much needed fresh air. As soon as she stepped out of the opening of the marquee, she gazed around at the hordes of people walking around, enjoying the festival entertainment.

‘What to do… _what to do_.’ She mumbled to herself as she paced, looking at the ground while deep in thought.

‘Faith? You okay?’

She looked up at the tall dark haired woman who had stopped still, staring at her quizzically. Josephine Hudson, John had raved about her since she confessed.

‘Yes! Yes, everything is …wonderful.’ The herald put on her best smile, as she nodded quickly.

Joey of course saw straight through it, ‘... are you sure?’

Faith paused hesitantly and bit her lip before beckoning with her hand, encouraging Joey to follow her into the marquee.

‘It’s this… we don’t have much time and there’s other things I need to be taking care of…’

‘And some of our devoted people have been trying their best but...’ She lowered her voice and cupped her hand over her mouth and whispered, ‘they’re not very good.’

Joey stifled her laugh at Faith’s prim and proper manner.

‘You know who’s really into this stuff? Rook,’ she informed. ‘When she moved in after my old roommate, the whole apartment looked so different and-‘

‘Then we need to go and find her.’ Faith insisted, as she quickly grabbed Joey’s hand.

‘Well she could be any-’

Joey went quiet as she frowned at Faith, who was pointing at someone behind her. She turned around to see who it was, and saw Lenni who as if on cue - was walking down the main pathway adjacent to the marquee.

’Thank you,’ Joey saw Faith whisper quietly to nobody in particular, as she waved at the Deputy before calling her over. 


	26. Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not long now until the dance! And much much more.

‘I’m surprised he even offered that to you.’ Joey pouted was the thought about it. ‘It’s kind of nice of him...’

Lenni snorted as she draped the sheer, white fabric from the ceiling of the marquee. Joey had insisted on supervising from the ground and keeping the ladder steady, while Lenni balanced confidently on the highest step.

How times had changed. From blowing up silos, fighting cultists and feuding with the Seeds - to spending an entire afternoon decorating a marquee for Faith’s elaborate Festival Dance. All thanks to Joey.

‘I think you should take him up on it, Rook. It’ll give you something to do while you’re waiting for the rebuild to begin.’  
  
The rebuild… fuck, of course.  
  
Lenni had forgotten all about that. There was a brief mention of it in passing when she visited Earl at the jail, but had heard no word of it since. She made a mental note to get in touch with him again after the festival was over.

‘Even though the rebuild is basically a waste of time,’ Joey shrugged.  
  
Lenni sighed and peered down at her from the top of the ladder. Joey was still just Joey to her. Peggie or not, the dynamics of their friendship hadn’t changed. Moments like that though was weird… hearing her talk about The Collapse and believing the word of The Father. Lenni decided to bite her tongue, and just be grateful that they were even allowed to spend time together.

After finishing the ceiling drapes, Joey and Lenni stood back and admired their handiwork.

‘I hope she likes it.’ Lenni murmured as she looked around, wiping the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand.  
  
‘Tables next and then that’s all, yeah?’ Joey asked.  
  
Up until then, John had always been the one who was picked to being so extravagant and extra. But as it turned out, Faith is too. Even the instructions she left for how to decorate the tables were… oddly specific.  
  
Joey dragged her palm down the side of her face as she read Faith’s extremely neat, cursive handwriting aloud to Lenni which finished with:

‘ _… the tables need to be covered by tablecloths, without them looking like tablecloths._ ’ She slowly looked up and stared incredulously at Lenni.  
  
Both women set out the tablecloths and noticed immediately that they were touching the floor. Crawling underneath the long trestle tables with duct tape in hand, Lenni winced at being uncomfortably squashed in a crouched position next to Joey. As Lenni showed Joey how the excess fabric back underneath and tape it up, they suddenly heard voices and froze. Joey and Lenni exchanges quick glances.  
  
‘See? No one here… we have the place to ourselves,’ said a male’s voice. ‘I could fuck you right here and now. In fact, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.’  
  
Lenni balked and looked over at Joey, who’s jaw was practically hitting the floor.

‘Don’t threaten me with a good time John.’ A woman’s voice purred seductively. ‘Let’s hurry in case your brother shows up.’  
  
_John_? The Deputy furrowed a brow as she peeked under the long table to see for herself. Standing in the middle of the marquee, was John with... Pretty Peggie.

Lenni slapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp, just in time before it escaped her lips. Her eyes were wide like saucers, as she watched them kissing with such hunger and passion.  
  
Recoiling back behind the curtain of thick, white fabric - she closed her eyes in dismay. How could John do that to his own brother? The guy was a prick, but... 

But nothing.   
  
She slowly glanced at Joey who was looking at her expectedly.

‘Who is it?’ she mouthed.

‘John… with Jacob’s girlfriend.’ Lenni whispered, only just loud enough for Joey to hear.  
  
Joey frowned as she listened to the woman’s familiar voice. Ducking her head down the same way Lenni did, she looked horrified.

‘Shit…’ Joey hissed under her breath as she quickly sat back. ‘That’s Holly, I know her.’  
  
Lenni felt her blood start to boil, hating that she now knew her name. Faith’s voice through speakers outside, pulled her away from her thoughts.  
  
‘Ladies and Gentlemen, only a few minutes until the BFF Bidding event begins!’ she announced sweetly. ‘Come and collect your bidding signs which we are handing out from the steps side of the stage.’  
  
‘Fuck,’ John hissed. ‘She’ll be expecting my brothers and I to be there to watch.’  
  
There incomprehensible mumbles and murmurs, as the pair fixed themselves and quickly left. Listening to their footsteps disappear, Joey and Lenni soon emerged from underneath the trestle table; stretching their backs as they stood up straight.  
  
‘Fucking John Seed.’ Lenni muttered through gritted teeth. ‘Entitled... disloyal prick.’  
  
Joey took a deep breath and shook her head in disappointment. He had captured her, tortured her... but it was also John who helped her overcome the guilt and sorrow. From a mobster, he became a leader. She couldn’t understand how he could do this to the brother he often referred to as his best friend.

‘You’re gonna say something, aren’t you.’  
  
She looked at her friend with a concerned frown. It wasn’t actually a question. The flatness in her voice gave away that she knew the answer already.

*****

That night was the worst night’s sleep Lenni had ever had. She continuously tossed and turned as she struggled to clear her mind from what she had witnessed between John and Holly. She pictured the different looks on Jacob’s face if she were to tell him. Which one would he have? It wasn’t until she pictured him heartbroken, Lenni realised… she couldn’t do it to him.  
  
She didn’t want to hurt him, even if it were due to the actions committed by others.

The sun was only just beginning to rise, when she gave up trying to sleep. Lenni decided to sit on the steps of her patio for a change, after making her usual hot cup of coffee.  
  
The scent of fresh pine and morning mist was comforting, as she admired the lush green forest surrounding her. _This_ was how she should be starting her day, every day. Basking in the natural beauty of the Whitetail Mountains.  
  
She smiled contently to herself, as she drew the steaming cup to her lips when she heart a distinct rustling sound. It was faint at first but quickly became louder, along with sounds of sniffing and deep rumbles. Lenni had no time to retreat, when it was walked up closely past her cabin and eyed her cautiously.  
  
The large white wolf, with the red cross marked across its face. It’s blood stained mouth became noticeable when it lifted its head up to sniff the air. It didn’t take its eyes off her. One stupid move and Lenni knew she was in trouble, so she didn’t move a muscle. A short, sharp whistle got the wolf’s attention immediately.  
  
It was Jacob, who was passing nearby. He looked exhausted, and the darkness around his eyes were more prominent than ever. It reminded her of that night at the Veterans Center, which made her heart sink a little for him.  
  
‘Only the crazy ones are up at this hour.’ Lenni called out.

Jacob quickly stopped and looked over to where she was sitting. ‘Doesn’t say much for you then, does it?’  
  
His eyes squinted from curiosity, as he took in the sight of her. Lenni felt herself blush slightly, as he walked towards her. She flicked her curly bed hair from one side to another, and tucked her knees under her a little – suddenly realising how bare they were.

‘Trouble sleeping too?’ she asked.

‘No more than usual,’ Jacob shrugged. ‘I’m always up at this hour, s’the best time of day,’ he eventually added.  
  
‘Oh you’re one of them…’ she smiled crookedly as she looked down at her bare feet.  
  
Without a word, he sat down next to her on the step. A slight groan escaped from him as he lowered himself, the white wolf immediately laid by his feet.

‘And who might _them_ be?’ he asked curiously.

‘Oh you know, those people who wake up at ungodly hours to exercise.’  
  
He huffed a silent laugh, ‘I guess some habits never die. Probably wouldn’t have lasted long servin’ if I’d slept in every morning.’

Lenni’s smile slowly faded, knowing that he brought home a whole lot more than just some habits from war. The white wolf sighed at his feet, as it lowered its head onto its paws.  
  
‘So, when can I start training?’ she asked, as an attempt to change the subject.  
  
A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he gazed into the trees ahead. ‘Whenever ya want, but now’s a good time as any.’  
  
She looked over at him wide-eyed. ‘Now? As in… five forty-five in the morning now?’

‘Why not?’ Jacob shrugged. ‘You obviously get enough beauty sleep so an early start’s not gonna kill ya.’  
  
His attempt at a compliment fell on deaf ears, as she instantly regretted bringing it up. Sitting there with a coffee at this hour, was a lot different to running around and whatever else. Even when she was still a working Deputy, if she started at ten in the morning, she would roll out of bed at nine-fifteen and be shoving toast in her face as she drove to the Sheriff’s office. Lenni could be described in many ways. But she of all people knew, a morning person was not one of them.  
  
Suddenly her conversations with Adelaide and Joey ran through her mind, as if tiny versions of them were sitting on her shoulders – each telling her what to do.  
  
‘ _Get off your arse and go for it_.’ Joey would say.  
  
Adelaide would tell her to ‘ _go and grab life by the balls, pretty girl_.’  
  
‘Okay,’ she said getting up. ‘I’ll be back in a minute… or two.’

‘I’ll be countin.’ He replied dryly, catching a quick glimpse of her legs as she stood up. ‘Grab ya rifle and whatever you use for hunting. The pack’ll be gettin hungry.’  
  
Lenni winced at the thought, before rushing in and around the cabin to get ready as quickly. She strapped on her harness and grabbed her compound bow on the way out too, just in case, before making their way towards St. Francis.  
  
The walk was fairly quiet, which neither of them minded. Lenni listened to the sweet sounds of the birds’ songs and the trickling of water running down the rocks of the creek.

Jacob slowed down to a stop, as he stared straight ahead.

‘There,’ he murmured to her while pointing. ‘You think y’could take it down?’  
  
Lenni looked past where he pointed to a large moose walking on the side of the road. She felt reasonably confident she could get it, after all the hunting practice she had done throughout her time in Hope County. Aside from looting every peggie she shot dead, trading animal skins had played a key role in enabling her to afford the weapons she had.  
  
She crouched down and slowly remained poised with her bow, waiting patiently until it was in range of the perfect shot. Jacob crouched down by her side, looking back and forth between the her and the target. Lenni knew damn well that he was watching her every move closely, with nothing short of high expectations.

The arrow sliced through the air in silence, piercing the moose clean in the chest. She frowned with bated breath as it stood completely still, until its legs buckled beneath it and fell to the ground in a heap.

‘Not bad.’ Jacob said, sounding unimpressed as he made his way over to it. Lenni followed, perplexed with his response. He let out two short whistles and suddenly wolves appeared from all directions. At least a dozen of them, more than eager to feast on the fresh meat.  
  
Lenni’s mouth dropped open, as she looked around warily.

‘It’s fine. They know you’re with me.’ Jacob assured her, after noticing her nervous behaviour.  
  
He and Lenni made brief eye contact before he looked quickly looked away. ‘You more comfortable with a bow or a rifle?’

‘Either,’ Lenni answered with a shrug. ‘But my sniper rifle was my favourite.’ 

The one she _used_ to have, until she was taken by John’s men and she never saw it again.

‘Sniper rifle hey…’ he smirked, ‘good girl.’

The brief small smile he gave, brought on the buzz of butterflies in her stomach.

It was wrong.  
  
He had a girlfriend, one who happened to be a cheater, but still… aside from that she could only imagine how people would react. There was no point.  
  
Lenni pushed the feeling of butterflies aside - choosing to focus solely on getting to the Veteran’s Center and punishing herself for being a foolish, romantic idiot.


	27. Little birdie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been awhile! Sorry, I had lost my writing-mojo... but sometimes all it takes is a sweet message from someone you don’t know - expressing how much they’re enjoying TS. It pulled me back again. 
> 
> So on that note, thank you @nariko-fearme. This chapter is for you.

Jacob watched from afar as Reynolds, his second-in-command, barked orders throughout the training session. Judging by how much harder his men were pushing themselves, they weren’t pleased to be in the presence of the deputy.

Since the ceasefire, they had become complacent. His lips curled into a small smirk, amused as they went above and beyond to make sure they didn’t finish second best to her. If bringing her in triggered their insecurities enough to work harder - so be it.

Jacob wasn’t the least bit surprised to see many of them needing to stop and vomit from exertion. 

‘Weak,’ he muttered under his breath. 

She didn’t stop though, despite looking exhausted - she kept going. In fact, the deputy was running circles around them in everything. But like everyone, there was room for improvement. She needed to be better.

She _had_ to be.

The buzzing static noises from his radio broke Jacob’s concentration.  
  
‘Brother, Holly should be there any minute now. I had to send her, Lonny hasn’t fuckin shown up yet.’  
  
Jacob groaned and checked his watch, frowning disapprovingly at Lonny’s tardiness. That fucking drunk was no doubt passed out in a field somewhere. He took one last look at the group as they started climbing ropes, before heading back to the main building.

___

Lenni was practically dragging her feet trying to make her way across the grounds of St. Francis. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Jacob and Holly walking out of the main building together. Holly in her usual _stylishly_ - _modified_ peggie attire, was laughing and smiling as she listened to whatever Jacob was talking about. Lenni couldn’t help but roll her eyes and continue walking.

’Fucking spare me,’ she grumbled to herself.   
  
The Deputy snuck another glance, to see him walking her back to the white cultist truck she had driven there. She didn’t realise that her glance had turned into more of a stare, when Jacob peered over his shoulder at her.

Lenni’s head snapped back to looking straight ahead, picking up the pace in her walk even though she was tired as hell. Holly soon drive past her, and gave her a friendly smile and wave.

The Deputy didn’t smile or wave back. 

‘Hey!’ A deep voice boomed with the sound of heavy footsteps running up from behind her.   
  
‘Yeah, what.’ Lenni answered, not bothering to look at Jacob as he caught up and walked with her.

He noticed her tone instantly, and scoffed at her abruptness. ‘What’s eatin’ you?’  
  
She sighed tiredly, and began to slow down. ‘Nothing, I just wanna get home.’

It was Lenni’s shitty attempt at giving him the cold shoulder. She was being petty and jealous, she knew it. And he wasn’t letting her off easy.

‘I’ll drive ya, I need to drive out and fix up one of the beacons. Ceasefire or not, Eli is a pain in my arse.’ He stopped still, waiting for her to stop too. 

Lenni frowned as she slowed to an eventual stop. A five minute drive was much better than a half-hour walk. 

‘Fine...’ she huffed, as she turned to walk with him towards his truck.

As she fastened her seatbelt, a vague memory from the night she had been drinking with Joey flashed through her mind. She recalled Jacob standing there waiting, while she fussed impatiently with her seatbelt.  
  
 _Why_ was he always so nice to her? 

Jacob looked amused as engine roared to life. ‘Well, you definitely pissed off a few of my guys out there today.’

‘That wasn’t my intention.’ Lenni replied, sitting with her arms crossed as she stared out the window. ‘But if it’s an issue I’ll just-‘

‘It’s fine.’ He interrupted in his usual nonchalant tone. ‘They needed a kick up the arse anyway... and you did it for me.’  
  
Lenni chewed the inside of her cheek before eventually sneaking a look over at him. She couldn’t help but smile at the way his lips curled up at the corners into a smirk. His deep blue eyes were preoccupied by concentrating on the wide highway road ahead.

The sunlight streaming in the windscreen, emphasised the texture of his scarred skin. Lenni noticed the sparse areas in his otherwise full beard. It was like staring at a ferocious lion.

Intimidating, yet captivatingly handsome.

Jacob must have felt her eyes on him, when he eventually side-eyed her before staring back at the road. ‘You’re always thinkin aren’t ya?’  
  
If only he knew.

‘Yeah, I suppose.’  
  
He rested his left elbow on the the window and began to stroke his beard.

‘Deputy, do you know why we train?’

Lenni opened her mouth to answer, but he beat her to it. 

‘It’s so it becomes second nature. We train so we can act without thinking, everything we do has a purpose. There’s no mistake... no oversights.’

No mistakes in what? It was like Jacob had fallen in some kind of trance. There was no smirk, or glimmer in his eyes. His mind was miles away and she wasn’t entirely sure what to do, as he pulled to a stop right outside her cabin.

Lenni sat still and quietly, conscious of  not disrupting or startling him. Gently, she cleared her throat which caused him to blink quickly a few times and look back at her again. 

‘Well... I guess it beats sitting at home doing nothing - which is what I’ll be doing tomorrow while everyone else is at the dance.’ Lenni joked awkwardly as she unfastened her seatbelt. 

‘Ya not goin?’ he asked, masking his own disappointment with curiosity.

A breathy laugh escaped her lips, a sound he was quickly starting to like. ‘I don’t have anything to wear for something like that.’ 

‘Inexcusable.’ He replied mockingly, ‘if I’m being made to go then you should too.’

Lenni rolled her eyes dramatically as she opened the door. ‘Oh yeah and who’s making you go? Your little girlfriend?’

‘Now hang on a minute there Deputy.’ Jacob said, his voice sounding extra raspy. It was enough to stop her from getting out of the truck.

‘And who... is my so-called girlfriend?’ 

She leaned back in the car seat, staring cautiously at Jacob - who in return was looking back with intense and undivided attention.

’Holly?’ Lenni all but squeaked.

Jacob stared at her for a long, uncomfortable moment... before bursting out laughing.

He laughed  _loudly_ and for a long time. Meanwhile she just watched with a blank look on her face. What was so funny?

Once he was finally able to compose himself, albeit still chuckling - he raised an eyebrow and looked back at her again.

‘What fuckin’ made you think _that_?’ He asked.

‘It’s just what I heard,’ Lenni shrugged quickly. ‘Anyway I better-‘

‘Well you heard wrong,’ Jacob interrupted. 

His voice was deep and she could see his jaw tightening as it felt like he was staring into her soul. ‘I have to go and support Faith.’ 

Lenni pursed her lips, feeling embarrassed about her slip up. ‘Sorry... I didn’t mean to offend you.’

Resting his arm over the steering wheel, his face immediately softened at her apology and obvious embarrassment. 

‘S’fine, don’t worry yourself over it.’ The Veteran huffed a small laugh.

‘Well... anyway I’m pretty sure Faith would be mortified if I showed up in something like this.’ Lenni gestured at the clothes she was wearing.

Jacob went to say something but she got in first.  
  
‘So uh, _try_ and have a good time... I guess.’

Lenni gave him one of her famous smiles before stepping out of the truck and heading towards the steps to her cabin. She stood and watched while he turned the truck around, expecting wave him off. But he stopped again right in front of where she stood, and tilted his head out the driver’s side window.

’I gotta ask...’ he said. ‘What’s ya name?’

She gave him a sly smile, biting her lip. He hadn’t even realised that he was holding his breath as he waited for her answer. 

‘Lenni.’   
  
‘Lenni...’ he repeated, and she nodded.

‘Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you ‘round... Lenni.’ He smirked before driving away.

*****

‘Deputy! Girl you even _alive_?’

The shrill voice through the radio speaker made Lenni jump. She and Joey had been keeping in contact through the radio, but this voice definitely wasn’t Joey’s.

‘Kim?!’ Lenni asked excitedly. ‘Hey how’re you!’

‘All good here friend. Was wondering if you were going tomorrow night to Faith’s thing? Mrs Jennings from next door is going to mind Carmina for us!’

Lenni slumped back on the couch and propped her feet up on the coffee table. ‘Uh oh, look out Hope County - Kim’s set to party.’

Kim sighed. ‘As much as I love my baby, I’m pretty excited to dress up and see everyone tonight... and get a little drunk.’

Lenni listened on as Kim continued, feeling guilty from knowing how disappointed she was going to be.

‘Yeah uh, I won’t be going… but you’ll still have an awesome night though.’

‘How come?’ The disappointment in her voice was obvious.

‘Kim I’ve got nothin to wear, plus I thought about it and I cannot be bothered watching Sharky with his weird little girlfriend-‘

‘Oh fuck her,’ Kim retorted. ‘Come on please? Borrow one of my dresses. You of all people here need to go and let your hair down. Plus Nick’ll cry if you don’t come out… honestly I think he probably would.’

Lenni giggled just as she heard a knock at the door. Absentmindedly taking the radio with her, she walked over to the door and flung it open.

Nobody was there.

She frowned, looking around and stepped forward to feel her foot tap against a white box which had been left. 

‘H-hang on a sec Kim,’ she murmured into the radio before placing it down to carry the box inside.

Sitting it on the coffee table in front of her, Lenni stared at it for a moment. It was a white, square cardboard box. The type used for large fancy cakes, but surely this wasn’t a cake... was it? Why would anyone leave _anything_ at her door?

Lenni picked up the small envelope tucked beneath a dried bliss flower, giving her a good indication on who it was probably from.

_**A little birdie told me that you didn’t have anything to wear tomorrow night.  
** _

_**No excuses now! See you at the dance.  
** _

_**Faith xx** _

It felt like an electric current had surged through her body. A shiver of giddiness, had her smiling like a maniac as she opened the box. Her grin quickly disappeared as she gasped in shock.

Lenni held up in front of her, a strapless, ivory chiffon dress with fine metallic rose-gold stitching along each ruffled layer of fabric and hemline. Underneath the dress were shoes to match, nude stiletto sandals. 

Back in New York, she never shied away from expensive outfits and accessories. Actually part of the reason she barely had any savings was because she would blow her money on shoes and whatever else.

But this... this dress was honestly the most beautiful piece of clothing she had seen. 

She bolted into her room, eager to try everything on. Looking at herself in the reflection of the full length mirror in the bedroom, she picked up the radio - not taking her eyes off the dress. 

‘Kim? Change of plans… I’ll see you at the dance.’


End file.
